The Simple Habit that Deepens Faith and Friendships

Hey, welcome back to Faithfield Living.

This is your host, Kristen.

Today we are digging into being present and doing life with other people and how we can use the table and breaking bread or having a meal with somebody or a cup of coffee.

How we can use that to deepen our connections, build community, and live a richer and more faith oriented life.

So I can't wait to share this guest interview with you today.

Welcome to Faithfield Living, the podcast that equips you to live well spiritually, emotionally, physically and purposefully.

Each week we'll dive into conversations and biblical truths to help you strengthen your faith, pursue meaningful work, care for your whole self, and live in line with what matters most.

Hi.

Today in the podcast, I would like to welcome our guest, Nina Perez.

She's a chef, author, transformational coach, and the host of Straight Talk, no Sugar Added.

She has now started the purpose built kitchen.

It's a space where she is going to cook with you and she's going to sit at the table and share conversations about faith and life, healing and inspiration.

And I'm excited to have a conversation with her today.

Actually, I have goosebumps right now.

I'm not joking.

Like, I just got like pin pricks.

Because we have so many areas where we're so passionate about serving people and helping people step into their purpose, into their passion, but also encouraging them to look at all parts of their life from a faith lens so that we can live the way God intended us to live, which he wants us to live.

Rich, full, beautiful lives.

That doesn't mean it'll always be easy, but I do think he does want it to be joy filled and he wants us to show up in the world bringing that joy and the hope and the love that he gives us to share with others.

And so I know this conversation is going to be really powerful for you and I just can't wait to have it.

So welcome to the show, Nina.

Thank you for having me here.

I'm really excited to have this conversation.

Thanks.

So why don't you just start off with just telling us a little bit about your journey and what, what you're, you know, I've obviously introduced you, but just tell us a little bit more.

Yeah, you know, I started really getting into personal development more in my 30s.

And it was about all the things I've been through.

So, you know, molestation, abuse, almost murdered by my partner in a domestic violence, things like that.

And as I started to develop as a person.

I got.

Yeah, I found my faith in my 20s.

And when I found my faith, it kind of just shifted my entire life.

And I realized that I am loved and, you know, that there is someone out there that is for me, not against me.

You know, I just learned a lot about my faith and who God was.

And so I went to school about almost two years to become a faith leader in for women.

And I started doing that and got into medical, the whole thing.

But the best part was that God used that book to help heal others.

And that's where I saw the shift in my life, because women were coming up to meet random women, too, which was exciting and heartbreaking as well.

Women coming up to me telling me how their father molested them or their brother did that to them or their mother, whatever.

And these things started coming out of women that wouldn't speak before.

And I was like, maybe God wants to use my voice for more than just little, you know, little things here on the side.

I got into podcasting, using my faith as the lead of what I do, and got into personal development and life coaching because I have my master's certification in neuro linguistic programming and positive intelligence, and I already had my certification in leadership and Christian leadership.

So I kind of started combining these things.

But I got to a point in my 30s where I always wanted to be a chef since I was, like, 4 years old.

And I remember, you know, watching Julia Childs, for those of you who aren't as old as me, was very famous on pbs, and she used to cook.

And when I was a little girl, I used to put up, you know, like, little dolls or fake things and act like I was Julia Childs cooking in front of them.

And God reminded me of that love.

And it was kind of a pretty fascinating story because I had asked God, I said, God, I feel like you're asking me to go back to school, but I have no idea what that looks like or what that means.

Are you telling me this?

And I said, okay, God, if that's true, if I'm feeling that in my heart, the prompting.

I tell you what, if you come down here physically, this is me trying to be bold with God.

You know, that's how we do.

Just trying to be bold with God.

I asked him, if you come down here physically, and you tell me I am released I will quit my job and I will go back to school.

I don't even know what that looks like, but if you come down here physically and tell me I'm released, I'll do it.

Kristen, about 45 minutes later, my husband comes home from work.

He comes into the bedroom.

He goes, I have to tell you something.

I said, sure.

He goes, I was in the car.

I'm like worshiping and praying and.

And I really don't know what this means, but I feel like God told me, go in there and tell her.

I said, she is released.

And I said, what?

What?

He said, you're released.

And I'm like, I'm released.

And I, like, I almost fell out of the bed, Krista, like, nearly fell out of the bed.

That was one of those God moments.

Those, like, what?

And I gave my job two weeks notice and went back to school.

Yeah, that's.

That's how you became a chef.

But the story goes from there.

So I don't know how far you want to get into this rabbit hole.

Well, yeah, so just tell us from.

So you.

So in your 30s, you went back and got your culinary degree or some sort of degree similar to that.

And so then I guess just kind of fast forward us to how now you're taking some of these many areas, right.

That you've kind of worked in or you've gotten your certifications in, and you're.

You're bringing them together.

Yeah.

You know, I.

When I went back to school.

When I went back.

When I went to school, because I never went to school, college, because I had a child at 15 years old, so I didn't.

College was out of the question.

So when I went back to school, we went homeless.

We lost everything.

We.

We lost everything.

So we went homeless.

We slept in the car sometimes we slept in people's living rooms, and it was a hot mess.

Anyway, I say all that to say when I got into, you know, being a chef and everything, you know, God just showed up for me in really magnificent ways.

Now, I'm not telling you it wasn't hard and that I didn't cry and that there wasn't a lot of work, but what God is doing right now is.

So I just got hired.

I work with a nonprofit, and what I do is I. I teach people of the underserved communities and people who are homeless and are struggling to develop a culinary skill.

So I'm their culinary instructor and I Teach them culinary, and then we take them and get them jobs in the industry.

And that is what God does to bring in all of my life coaching experience, neuro linguistic programming, being homeless, because that's an experience as well.

You know, having my culinary degree, I have a bachelor's and all of that kind of stuff.

And he's using it now for his good, right?

Because all of those experiences, even though I thought they were horrible and why would I be homeless and all these other things, I remember distinctly, I was angry with God because I was homeless.

Like you told me to go back to school and then I'm homeless.

Like, how does this happen?

And I remember praying in the car and I was like screaming and crying.

I was really mad at God.

And I heard almost audibly, I don't know how else to explain, explain it.

I told you to be obedient.

I never said it would be easy.

That's what I heard.

It was almost as if you and I speaking right now.

It blew me away.

I've only had those experiences maybe once or twice in my life.

My heart stopped and I said, okay, God, then I will be obedient.

And that's what I did.

I ended up graduating with a 4.25.

He.

He paid for everything.

I never paid a dime for college, my whole education, everything I needed, God paid for.

It was absolutely phenomenal.

So that's what I'm doing now.

So I'm taking all of that knowledge, all of those skill sets, all of that, and I'm using it for his glory.

And that's where purpose, you know, the purpose filled kitchen came in.

Because I realized, Kristen, like, I wish you were nearby.

You and I would cook together, have this great meal.

But then we would sit down and talk about what this means.

What is life like?

What does God mean to you?

Why are you doing what, what you do today?

That's what we are.

That's where we are right now.

Right?

I love it.

First of all, I love that you're helping people, you know, like you said, the underserved community to help them learn a skill.

Because one that gives us purpose, that lets us have pride in ourselves, like, you know, good pride, like feel good about ourselves, that we can, we can give back, we can participate and then help them get jobs.

Yeah, that's beautiful.

And then like you said, you know, you also then are.

Have launched the Purposeful Kitchen.

Where online.

Well, I mean, or at least, I mean, we can watch it online, right?

Yeah, people can watch, you know, your, your cooking and you know, having Conversations and then sharing, you know, wisdom and personal development and ideas around faith in life.

So I love that.

So I guess the first thing I'd say is, why don't we just talk a little bit about.

I guess, cooking, but the table in the kitchen?

Because I think maybe if you're like us, where we're probably.

We're both kind of.

It sounds like foodies and we love people.

But it's that hot.

The heart of hospitality.

And we're all called to actually show hospitality to others.

But I think some of us have a real heart for it, which I can tell you do as well.

And so I guess I.

What I'd say, though, is I feel like so many people that I talk to or I know, or I, you know, just show up in the world, they've lost.

They.

They are missing that that actually is a very sacred place in space and that that is a act of love cooking for people, inviting in.

And so what would you just share with people to encourage them in that way?

Because I think a lot of people, not myself included, they are kind of like, oh, my house, it's my place, like.

And so they don't always extend the invitation.

You know what I mean?

And so what would you just encourage people in that way?

You know, I would say that when you think about breaking bread with someone, I don't care who it is, right?

It could be somebody you totally disagree with, anything like that.

If it's good food, for some reason, it just breaks that barrier, right?

So you have all these nationalities and all these different flavors and stuff that we have here in the US and it's like, I can really break bread with someone.

And even if I consider them my adversary, if you will, and I don't really have many of those, thank God.

But if even then I would break bread with them, because I know that that is the place where people are going to open up.

So it was something I did with my kids when they were little that helped me now transition as an adult.

I had.

I invented something called free time.

And free time was.

I wanted to know what my kids were up to, because they were kids.

So they're hiding things, right?

So in order to do that, I would break bread with them.

We would all sit at the table together.

Was mandatory that we all sat together at the table for dinner.

And that would be an hour of free time, meaning anything that they bring up or say or have done, there's no consequences other than we have to discuss what would be the opposite view of what they did.

And they also have to acknowledge that they did what they did.

And was there a better decision?

And what I realized with doing that with them is my kids ended up opening up to me about everything.

Until this day, they tell me a little too much.

A little too much, but they tell me everything.

And they're adults.

I want to do that with people.

I want to be able to know that we can break bread and have something as simple as a cup of coffee and nice toast or something and talk about.

Because most of us, we really want the same thing, no matter the color or the background or the religion or the view or the whatever.

Right.

The truth is, we mostly all want the same thing, which is to be accepted, to have love, to break bread with somebody, to have a good conversation, to not feel judged or looked upon in a wrong way.

And I think that that is the most powerful place to do it is when you're nourishing the body so that you can then nourish the soul.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah.

These people.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

Oh, that's okay.

I was going to say that the.

The people that I am working with, I call them my team.

Even though they're students, you know, whatever, they're my team.

And when we sit at the table, at first they look at me, they're like, what does she think about us?

And da, da.

And when they start to learn, hey, I was you.

Like, I was you.

Yes.

It breaks everything.

Then before you know it, they're telling me their life story.

They want to know my advice and how do they get successful.

Everything shifts at the table.

So invite someone in for a table or meet them somewhere where you can break bread.

Maybe you don't want them in your home.

I understand that.

But go to.

Go to somewhere and just break some bread with somebody that maybe even somebody you don't like, maybe somebody you even work with that you're like, the person annoys me.

Good.

That's the person you should be breaking bread with.

Right?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And like you.

Like you said, yes, you can meet them at the coffee house.

You can meet them.

Right.

For a cup of coffee.

It doesn't have to be a whole meal.

You know, it reminded me when you were saying that.

So for many years, when my kids were younger, I. I coordinated a volunteer program with elementary School that my kids had gone to called lunch buddies.

But basically, adults would sit with kids that the guidance counselor and teachers would select to come and sit at that table.

Of course, they had to get permission, you know, from the families, but they were kids that were picked for a multitude of reasons, but it was mostly they could maybe just use a little bit of extra support, right.

In some way.

Maybe they were having a hard time.

Maybe they had someone in the military away or anything, right.

It could have been jail, could have been divorced or.

Or whatnot.

So we would sit with them.

But the thing was, is those kids didn't really know you, right, to begin with.

You're just a stranger to begin with.

And so sometimes the kids wouldn't want to talk at all.

So you would just, like, do little things, like bring a coloring sheet or bring a game to play.

Right?

Anybody can play tic tac toe.

You don't have to talk to each other.

Right.

But over the weeks and months, the kids would start opening up, right, because you became a more trust you.

Yeah.

They start trusting you.

And so.

But the point was, is once again, we.

That was around a table, and it was in the lunchroom, and it was just basically you saying, I'm taking time to invest in this conversation or to be here with you.

Right?

And so that's, like you said, it's just a special and sacred thing that we don't get often doing other things.

It is a place, right, that's always been considered, you know, like a.

It's like, basically, it's fellowship, right?

You're coming together whether it's right.

Somebody of the same faith or not.

That's not the point.

It's that it's this connection point, and everyone has to eat, right?

And so it is an opportunity.

And like you say, it's.

It's just allowing for you to do life with other people, you know, whether it's your family or whether it's someone you work with or whether it's a stranger.

Right.

On occasion, I mean, you know, or like you're volunteering or something like that.

Yeah.

It doesn't feel like you're imposing.

And it almost gives somebody a security blanket, right?

So if they have a cup of coffee, they can kind of hold onto it a little bit more snug if they need to.

If there's a table, there's a protection between you and them, you know?

So I think those kind of things also help, you know, when I'm cooking with people in my kitchen, it's been amazing, right?

Because it's sometimes it's friends or it'll be one of the students that, you know, we've gotten along during the course, and they want to come over and help me pick figs off my tree, you know, things like that.

But it creates this amazing bond, you know, in, in just a few moments of breaking bread together.

And I, I, I love what God is doing.

I didn't know what this was going to look like, and I still don't know fully what it's going to look like, but I'm enjoying the process.

It's been an absolutely amazing experience so far.

I love that.

So what about just that, the act, or, I'm sorry, that cooking can really be an act of love.

Right.

It's, it's actually us serving someone else, our family, or you're inviting other people over, or you're teaching how, you know, how someone can cook or learn those skills.

So share with that.

Because, yes.

If you're a mom or you're married.

Yes.

You probably, if you're somebody that cooks, you've made dinner a lot.

And sometimes I get it, we can all be like, dinner again, right.

It's like the nemesis sometimes, but there.

But I think when we look at it for not just.

It's one more thing to get done during the day.

Yeah.

Changes, it shifts something.

So what would you.

Just about what you've learned about that?

You know, I think if everybody just pause for a second and think about maybe when you've gone through a hard time, how somebody maybe bringing you a bowl of soup or something really, really helped nourish your soul.

If, maybe after surgery, right.

When, if you have a community of people that come and maybe cook for you or drop off food, like all of that just means so much care.

It takes time to sit in the kitchen and make a meal for someone.

You know, it takes heart to do that.

And I think most people even say, oh, my gosh, that was so good.

It must have been made with love.

There's a reason people say that, right?

And it's because of that, that feeling and that energy that gets, you know, given to you when it, when something is made for you.

You know, we go to a Bible study group every Wednesday, and although we don't always have to bring something, I always bring something, and I'll bring dessert or an appetizer or whatever.

And they're like, oh, my gosh.

No, we love that you're in this group.

Right.

Because I love to cook.

But you know how amazing it feels when they're like, taking that bite, and they're like, oh, my God, this is the best cheesecake I've ever had.

Or whatever.

Right?

It's that.

It's that.

Right?

It's really just caring about somebody more than just like, what.

What do they want from me?

But more like, what can I do for them?

Right?

And it could be very, very simple.

I just made a sourdough loaf and sliced it up and gave it.

Like, my neighbors, they passed away, unfortunately.

But when they were here, I was always like, listen, I'm a chef.

I'll come and cook for you guys, you know, or when I made extra soup, we would just bring it over, and they're like, oh, my gosh, you guys are.

Thank you.

You know, so it's that kind of thing.

I think it's.

It's you actually taking the effort to do something.

That doesn't mean you have to do everything from scratch.

But you thought of someone was in your mind when you thought about making this particular thing.

That's freaking awesome.

That's the best gift you can ever give.

I absolutely agree with you.

And I mean, obviously, I'm someone also that enjoys cooking.

Not everyone does, and I get that.

But, you know, this also, this idea, even though I think the table and cooking and food are powerful, because we all do those things.

Yes, exactly.

But I also say for some people, it might be.

Maybe you garden and you brought over fresh basil to your neighbor.

So in other words, this goes beyond when we're talking about just cooking, but it's.

It's those little acts of saying to somebody, I noticed you, or I care about you, or I wanted to do something just to tell you, like, I was thinking about you.

And so for us, it might be food most of the time.

Right?

That's the way we're showing.

It might be something different for someone else.

Or like you said, if you're not somebody that cooks, maybe you're bringing them something that you purchased, but you put it together, right?

Like a little gift basket or whatever it might be.

So, you know, I just don't.

I want people that maybe aren't people that cook much to remember.

You can still participate in this.

Like, you can still invite somebody for the coffee.

You can still invite somebody to meet for lunch, and you don't have to cook if that's not your thing.

So.

Right, right.

A note, anything.

Honestly, if you're thinking of someone, they know you're thinking of them.

That is just such a great feeling.

And I don't care who you are.

Right.

I mean, it's not a narcissistic thing to have to be happy that someone thought of you, you know, So I think if you just think of someone.

And I've even just sent a text to someone, like, I'm really thinking of you today.

And I haven't spoken to them in like a year, and they're like, oh, my gosh, I needed that.

Thank you.

You know, so just that alone doesn't have to be food.

You're 1,000% right.

But you should try to have community.

Don't stay alone.

I call it the, you know, isolation.

I call it the devil's playground, you know, So I always say, you know, get out of the devil's playground and go build a community, even if it's with two people, one per.

I don't care what it is.

Just have someone else you can reach out to.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I just went to a different.

A new church on Sunday, and I went with just one of my sons this particular week.

My husband already had something going on and whatnot.

But, you know, right when we were leaving, of course they had coffee and of course, before.

But right when we were leaving, they were like, oh, we have chicken meals.

Lunch.

Lunch for everyone, you know, so my.

My son did grab one of them and take it with us.

But of course, right.

They're doing that because they're trying to encourage more community, people staying longer.

I mean, obviously some people could take it and left, but others probably stayed there and had the meal.

But, you know, it was just one other thing because we all know food is at all of the events, right?

Funerals, weddings, parties, church usually, you know.

So, you know, once again, it's just that through line of life.

And so it's an opportunity, like you said, to connect with people, to build community with others.

Book I really enjoy.

It's from years ago.

I don't know if you've read it.

It's called the Turquoise Table.

No, but it's.

So basically, it's not so much about inside the house, because once again, like you said, not everybody wants to have people through their house for many reasons.

But a woman basically put a picnic table in her front yard in her neighborhood, but she painted it turquoise so it would stand out or.

I love that.

And so the whole concept was she started inviting people to her front yard.

So in the more certain mornings, you know, she would put coffee.

Just coffee and donuts or whatever.

And so her point is, it doesn't have to cost you a lot of money.

It doesn't have to be elaborate, but you're inviting neighbors over.

Maybe it was lemonade in the afternoon or.

But to your point, not everybody wants to or feels like it can get expensive if you're trying to have like this whole thing.

But you can just say I'm gonna have coffee out front or I love.

This so much, I gotta pick up that book or even do that concept.

I love that.

No, I know.

I keep being, I keep thinking I'm gonna do that in my front yard.

You know, like we do host and entertain, but you know, but I love that idea too because.

But I don't have a table in my front yard.

Although I've still been thinking about doing that.

But.

Yeah.

So once again, there's a lot of ways to be creative with, with that idea of.

Yeah.

Inviting people into doing life with you.

Right.

To building community.

To getting to know your neighbors.

Yes, yes, yes.

I love that.

And you know, my husband's really good at that.

Like my husband will, he says hi to everyone.

Everybody knows him, he knows them.

But he, you know, he's a contractor so he'll like help people, you know, things like that.

I'm a little bit not like that.

But that's interesting because I'm extrovert and he's not.

So it's very interesting, that dynamic.

But I think it's also his, his spidey senses wanting to know everybody around, you know, that kind of thing.

But I love that and I love what that can bring because that can bring such a piece in your community and a tightness and all it is is you breaking bread with somebody and it can be so simple.

And that's really easy.

Right?

You get a fold out table, you go out, you cover it with a plastic and you're done.

Yeah.

Go buy cookies.

You don't even have to make them if you're not.

Right.

A cook.

Exactly.

Cooking.

So yeah, I mean too.

I love that.

So let's talk a little bit about the tie in, of not just the act of connection and community and act of love.

Right.

Of.

Of breaking bread with people, but also the purpose side of this.

Right.

Because as I mentioned sort of as I started, you and I both have walked through doing different things, but then having this call to talk a bit more about the intersection of faith and connecting to other people, but also using our passions to serve the world, but also to help other people, to encourage them to do the same thing.

So share with me a little bit about, you know, what does it mean to you?

Just that there's purpose to be found right in our lives.

And if we feel burned out right now or we feel.

Yeah, maybe we feel like we don't have a clear picture of how God wants to use us.

Because I've been there too.

What would you just share about that?

You know, I think about Ephesians, right, Where it says, for we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, right?

Which God's prepared for us in advance.

And it makes me think about that because it makes me think about we are all here to do good works.

And that doesn't mean to go out and make billions and, you know, do everything the hustle culture tells you to do.

It can be as simple as what me and Kristen were just talking about, which is, you know, serving coffee to a neighbor.

It can be that, right?

And I think what the world has done is that they have told us, no, you gotta hustle, you gotta be the best.

You gotta be the most fit, the most muscular, the most, the most, the most.

Whatever, whatever.

The thing is, right?

And I was after that as well, you know, as a coach.

It was like, oh, no, I'm, you know, this is what we're doing and I'm gonna build businesses and da, da, da.

And I did help women do that and everything.

But I felt empty.

There was something going on, right?

And it was mostly because it was driven by what I thought I wanted as opposed to what do I really want or what is it that God wants me to do, right?

For God knows the plans he has for us to prosper us and not to harm us, to bring us hope in a Future, right?

Jeremiah 20:9.

And the thing is, is I started to like, have a format of writing things down.

First thing I do is, what am I grateful for?

I'm always thinking about, what am I grateful for?

And then I would have a scripture and that would break down that scripture.

What does that scripture mean to me?

Why does it say that and how do I apply that today?

That kind of thing.

So I. I actually built a.

A journal called the CEO Meeting with God.

And the CEO Meeting with God is every morning without fail, I spend about 15 to 30 minutes, depending on how long you want to spend.

And I go through this journal now.

And the prompt, the prompts in the journal is what actually created the purpose filled kitchen.

Because I was feeling very empty.

And so I would say to people, pause for a second, and you have to truly ask yourself, what do you want?

And I'm not talking about the millions or the Big house, in the car.

All those things can come.

If that's what you want, great.

But what do you really want?

Because most of us really want to be aligned.

We want peace.

We want joy.

We want fulfillment.

You know, life is very, very short.

I was thinking today, like, how did I become 53?

How did this happen, right?

And I'm like, where did my 20s and 30s and 40s go?

And how much time did I spend, Kristen, with anxiety and depression and worry and all of those things, and now I can't even remember what they were because it was so fleeing.

And so I try to live my life in a space of abundance and mindset and love.

I try to live in a space of gratitude of who God is in my life, because I've had bad things, and I know that bad things will come, but I am grateful for what I have.

And so I will tell people to please just pause.

Your voice matters.

You matter, and it doesn't matter how big or how small, and stop allowing the world and TikTok and YouTube and everything else to tell you who you are.

You need to find that out, and nobody can know that but you and God.

So find out what that is, and then don't be afraid to live in that space.

You know, for a long time, I was like, if I go back to the kitchen, Kristen, does that mean that I failed?

You know, because I stopped doing all the coaching, and everybody knew me for that.

Did I fail now?

No, I didn't.

In fact, everybody's embracing it and like, oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That's great.

It's about time.

This is amazing.

But I could have done this 10 years ago, you know, but, yeah, I got stuck in the.

I need to do this.

Yeah.

Oh, it's so true.

Well, so many things there.

Well, first of all, much like you, actually, I just did a.

A new download that people can go get called Joy Rising, but it's basically daily journal prompt.

Right.

That's, of course, the gratitude piece, but then it's also writing down what you notice or how you notice God moved in your life in this particular day, you know, in other words, his presence.

And then the third piece is what brought you joy today?

Or what.

What did you.

Yes.

You know what I'm saying?

So it's kind of like gratitude, but kind of on steroids, if you will.

But it was because of the same thing, right?

Because I have those practices, too.

But the more I thought about, it was like, once again, when we set our sights on noticing what God's doing, Set our sights on noticing what we're grateful for.

That's where the joy rises.

Right.

Because it doesn't.

Gratitude comes first.

Right?

The gratefulness and then noticing God right in our lives.

And what is he prompting us to do?

But what you said about, you know, it could have been 10 years earlier, I totally get that.

And I think what happens is we have been told so many messages by culture.

Yeah.

Oh, you need to get a certain type of job.

It needs to be safe.

Oh, well, this pays better to start with.

Or this.

And it's like, but you.

We knew, and we still know.

What are the things that bring you joy?

Like, what are the things you love?

As you mentioned before, where do you tend to.

Where's your time drawn?

Meaning?

It sounds like you and I, we.

We do lots of different things.

But, like, I'm in the kitchen, plenty of time.

Right.

While I'm not a chef.

Like, that is something I enjoy.

I like.

I like making things right with my hands.

I like, like, oh, I'm going to try this recipe.

But the point is, that's just one of my points of interest.

I love Christian.

I love reading books about.

Or Christian authors.

Not everybody likes those books.

And I don't know why.

Right.

It's just they.

They just.

That's what you know.

Right, right, right.

And so the point is, is we have to know, like, you said those things and not let what we think we need to be and who we need to be define us.

And I think that's what happens often in your 40s and your 50s is you start realizing, okay, maybe I'm not clear exactly on what this looks like, but I know that I need to move towards these things because I feel unsettled or I feel like I'm worn out from what I was doing, because I think we're trying to not be someone else, but we're trying to fit in a spot that wasn't really.

It doesn't mean we couldn't do it.

Like, for instance, I used to be more in technology.

I was good at it.

But it's like that book, Zone of Genius.

I don't know if you've read that, but he basically says a lot of us work in our zone of excellence, meaning we're good at it and we can get paid pretty well for it.

But it's not our zone of genius.

In fact, I've gotten stuck so many times where I'm like, oh, but this.

I have a background here or that pays the bills.

But it was.

Gave me.

Right, right.

I'VE had to kind of undo some of those things to try to step into what I've been doing in the last couple of years.

But to your point, I just want to encourage women, you know, that you're.

You.

Many of us walk through this, you know, feeling like we're not certain.

But I would tell you, just keep following the breadcrumbs.

Keep.

Actually, the more that excites you, you should go towards it, even if you don't know why.

Like, you going back in the kitchen and then connecting these things, you know?

And I think too many times in the past, I've thought, oh, I need to make, like, a reel.

And it needs to be like, I'm trying to fit it into some sort of template.

But I'm not a template nor.

Right.

I love that.

Yes.

Yes.

I just went and did what I was like, hey, I'm just gonna do this thing.

Like I told you before we recorded, I'm drying orange slices right now.

Right.

For some Christmas gift things.

But I mean, why?

I just think, like, just do a video while I'm doing that.

Yeah.

Why am I trying.

Just show up, like, so I think too many times we're trying too hard instead of just showing up how God made us already.

I think because of all this pressure in the world, you know, And I think that sometimes it makes us take longer to get back to the path of where God's trying to lead us.

Yeah.

And, you know, I think, you know, for whoever's listening, if you are hustling a lot online and things like that, you may want to take a little break on that too.

I think we.

We.

We think that we have to get the next big reel or compete with someone else who's in that space or no.

And sometimes, you know, I don't feel like it, you know, like, I make dinner every night, but I don't have a video every night of.

Video of.

Of dinners that I make.

Because sometimes I'm just making dinner.

It's just me and my husband and making dinner.

I don't have to have, you know?

Cause I do record a lot, but not every day.

And that's the thing.

Like, I realized that I don't want to live in the virtual space.

I don't wanna live in the Matrix.

I actually want to live in the moment with the person that I love, like, presently, you know, so we have to be careful with that.

That's part of that hustle culture.

That's part of that thing.

Right.

I've spent so much money on different coaches and different things, because I'm trying to get to the next level.

Get to the next level, you know?

And I remember this woman came to me.

I stopped taking, you know, clients about January of this year, so it's been almost 12 months.

And because I was just trying to figure out with God, like, what am I doing?

And I remember this woman came to me.

She's like, I really want to work with you.

I'm like, I'm sorry.

I'm not taking clients.

And she's like, oh, but you know.

And I remember her from another program.

And I said, wait, didn't you take this program?

And da, da, da.

It was a very expensive program.

It's like $25,000 to join.

And she said, yeah, I did the whole thing.

I was like, oh, so what are you coming to me for?

I mean, you know, you should have it.

She goes, no, I left there burnt out and broke.

Just burnt out and broke.

And I'm like, right, that breaks your heart.

Right.

But that's why.

Because we're constantly going after the next thing, the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing.

We don't pause.

Kristen.

Yeah, it's so true.

So I don't know if you have read any of Emily P. Freeman's books.

One of her books is called the next right thing.

But she basically talks about it.

Might have been in the book prior to that one, but.

But I'm not sure which one.

But she talks about that if you find yourself signing up for every email, listening to what the coaches say, she's like, that's fine.

If you have a dirt.

Like, you want to learn how to make pens, and it's a pen maker.

Yeah, perfect.

But she says if you find that you're constantly chasing but it gets too noisy, then it might be time to silence those voices so that you can actually hear what it is you're supposed to be doing.

Because I've done it too, right?

Like, oh, I. I better learn this thing.

Or, oh, maybe this is the one thing I'm missing.

Right?

But yes, girl, yes, you to where.

You want to go.

And it's not, oh, and you're tired.

It's because we're trying to.

We're trying to fit in that template once again instead of just being who we were uniquely made.

Made to be by God.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Yes.

You nailed it.

It's exactly right.

And, you know, I'm glad that God is patient and kind and loving and directs our path even when we're off, like, some path somewhere in A mountain.

You know, I'm grateful because he kept bringing me back to this and bringing me back to this, and I kept going, no, no, but this direction.

He's like, no, this direction.

And it wasn't until I said, okay, I'm gonna give up my clients, even though, like, it's a good business.

You know, I had a few clients, I had things going.

I finally was like, okay, God, I'm just gonna not take clients.

And I did it.

I really stayed to my word.

And that is what shifted everything, because I started to pray.

I started to sit with myself.

I started to be grateful.

I started.

And I was able to let go of all of the other noise, the groups that.

The groups that I had in the coaching space and the clients.

And I still talk to them, they're still friends of mine, all of that kind of stuff.

But, yeah, God is really good and intentional and loving.

And if you just paused, whether you're a person of faith or not, I would recommend faith.

It's helped my life a lot.

But even if you're not, just pause with yourself and say, okay, I don't like this.

I'm not happy anymore.

What's happening here?

And what do I really like?

Oh, I like jewelry.

Let me look at that.

You know, Or I like sewing.

Oh, wow.

Let me look at that.

You know, like, it could start as something you just love to do, maybe after work.

Because I'm not telling people to leave their jobs.

Absolutely.

You know what I mean?

Like, maybe something you love to do after work.

But before you know it, your passion will make you so joyous that you will start to do it more and more and more and live in the space of love and joy and not trying to hit the next milestone, you know, get that next six figures and.

So true.

So exhausted.

I know.

Well, so a couple things came up for me, and I usually wouldn't just list them off, but I'm going to, because I.

Go ahead.

So one you brought up earlier, and I just want to emphasize it again, it is.

It's being present.

Like, you talked about having, you know, making dinner with your husband.

And in that same book, I was talking about the charcoal table, she has a page in there that she talks about the story of this woman.

I think her name is.

Well, I'm.

I'm going to get it wrong.

It's not.

Don't worry about it.

I won't say her name.

But it's the ministry of presence.

And she also.

That woman in her old village, like, it's an old story, you know, she would invite people in and she, she did not have much money.

But the first thing to remind people of is be present.

Like you said, don't just chase.

Like we just shared, both of us have had that same example where not that we were chasing the next thing, but we were thinking we had to do more.

And so the next thing I would say is, you don't need to be more.

Yeah.

You just need to be more of you, not more of anything else.

So good mind people that.

And then third is follow what lights you up.

In other words, what you just said and what I've already mentioned is the things that bring you joy, the things that you're interested in, the things you're always reading about or you're watching shows about like, you know what I mean?

I'm not saying if it's like the super crime show and you have no interest in that, like I like watching.

Cooking shows or I like watching Christmas.

Shows or, you know, whatever.

Right?

So I mean, unless you want to be a crime podcaster, then go for that.

And then the third thing or the fourth thing is what do you need to quit?

I love that Bob Goff in his books and then some in his devotional author and he humanitarian and some other stuff.

But he talks about that on Thursdays he quits things like every Thursday he quits something because he's in a lot of, he's on boards and he like, he has a lot going on.

Right.

So maybe they're not going to quit something every Thursday.

Right.

The point is, is we should at least monthly be looking at like, what is it that we need to stop doing?

Maybe you're volunteering for three different things and one of them is just burning you out.

You've been doing it for years.

Maybe it's time to pause it.

So I'd say don't keep doing the things that are exhausting and burning out.

If there's, if it might be time to do something new or make space.

For something new, and it doesn't make you insignificant because you stop.

You know, I think we always think that if we don't have 50,000 things to do, we're not important.

That is, that's a self issue now.

It's not about what you're doing externally.

That's an internal thing.

And you have to ask yourself, why is it that I do that actually?

Why, why am I doing 50 volunteer things, right?

I mean, what's that about, you know?

I know.

And don't be wrong.

I'm not saying I never, like, add too many things or say, sure, I'll host 25 people or whatever.

But like, last night I.

My husband's out of town and I have three college age sons that are home, but they were studying for exams or they were busy.

And it's not like they'd hang out with me all the time anyways, you know, if you were doing something, they would.

But I just had a Christmas show on and I was doing some different little art projects that I wanted to try last night.

And I didn't feel bad about it, right?

Like, I shouldn't.

I was like, I want to just kind of do some creative things.

And sometimes I might have invited a girlfriend over, but it wasn't planned.

So I was like, I'm just gonna do this thing.

But to your point, you don't have to feel bad about free time.

Yeah.

Like, and that's the thing, right?

I mean, the hustle culture tells you you have to feel bad about that, right.

You should be doing the next thing and going after the next thing.

I remember when I was in medical, I was just a medical assistant.

I was an ultrasound technician.

I was talking to this elderly woman, she must have been in her 90s, and I said to her, can I ask you a personal question?

She goes, yes.

I said, what is the one thing you regret most in your whole life?

And she said, I never lived for me, right?

She goes, I regret that more than.

Yeah.

She's like, I regret that more than anything ever.

I did everything for my parents, then for my kids and for my husband.

Never.

I never, ever, ever did anything for me.

And that broke my heart.

Because she's like, and now I'm in the end of my life and I cannot do anything I wanted to do when I was younger, you know, and that really, that stuck with me because I'm like, no, I'm challenging myself every year to try to do something I've never done before.

And that's what I do every year.

I try to think of, what is it this year that you're going to challenge yourself with.

And then I try to go for it, you know, just because it's fun and I want to do it.

You know, it stretches you and expands you, and that is very fulfilling.

Right?

I mean, whatever it is, you go take a new class or go to a new place, volunteer with new people, whatever it might be.

Right?

But I'm with you.

We don't.

I mean, I always talk about this on one of my podcasts, but if you're not, I mean, yes, there's seasons of preparation and there's seasons of waiting, but I feel like we should always be learning and growing.

That's right.

Like plants.

It doesn't mean there's not seasons where it slows.

But you, we don't want to stagnate because whether it's for your health, whether it's your mind, what your body, if we don't use it, we will, it will deteriorate, level up.

Right.

So, yeah, so you need something, you need hope.

And how do we get hope?

By seeing on the horizon.

Yes.

God in all that he brings.

But it's like hope also comes because we realize, wow, like I can go try new things, I can do new things, I can learn something new that that brings us hope in a different kind of way.

I think it's important.

Yeah, I think so too.

And it also keeps your mind really sharp and it also makes you aware of things too, you know, like the things that are around you.

You know, if you're so self consumed about what you need and what you want and what you're doing, you're not looking at your neighbor, you're not looking at.

And I honestly, I really believe this.

We are not here just to serve ourselves, but we're serving others.

And so somebody said to me once, because I was talking about my story and all the things that I've been through, and I said, you know, all those great things.

And he's like, how could you say that?

How could you say all those great things?

And I said, because my story doesn't belong to me anymore.

My story now belongs to others.

Meaning I will use every bit of that being domestic violence, being abused, being all of those things to now help someone else in need.

It gives you empathy, it gives you a way of looking at someone else and saying, wow, I was there too.

Let me help you through that.

Right.

Our stories are for others.

And so we need to be aware.

If we are so anxious all the time or worried all the time or having some depression or whatever, then start to think, am I thinking too much about myself in my little bubble that I've created, or am I looking beyond that and out?

Right.

God wants us to have a life that is fulfilling, meaning fulfilling his purpose.

But if we're fulfilling his purpose, we are going to be fulfilled.

That's the point, you know, that's so, so true.

Yeah.

I always loved that little saying or graphic that showed like, take what you need and it has the little words below it.

But it's always like that.

If you're feeling lonely, if you're feeling hopeless, like if you go do that same thing for someone else, you're gonna start feeling different, you know, in other words, even if it's that you feel a little lonely or a little isolated for whatever reason, what, whatever you're walking through right now and you go to the grocery store and instead of looking down or, or whatever, just disengaging, if you look at the person, smile or say hello, give them a compliment, like you start to change because you engage instead of waiting for someone to engage with you.

And it's the whole thing.

You're putting yourself out there even when you don't feel like it.

And it will change your perception, which will change how you feel a hundred percent.

Because you're out of your own bubble, you're out of your own way.

Right.

And isolation again, is the, is the devil's playground.

So anytime you're feeling isolated, for anybody here who's listening and saying, but I feel very much alone, go volunteer somewhere.

And maybe you don't have family because I've met people who really don't have family.

They were the only child, their parents died, they didn't have kids.

So they feel very much alone.

And I don't know what that feels like because I have a husband and I have children, but I might know one day what that feels like.

I don't know.

But the truth of the matter is then you have to think even more creatively.

How do I get out of this?

I'm telling you, a local soup kitchen would love to have you help.

What?

Love it.

Right.

You know, getting a little a part time gig somewhere, you know, working for a non profit or you know, going to see if your neighbor needs anything.

Maybe you can help them cook or clean or mow a lawn or.

You know what I mean?

Like, we have to get out of our way.

We have to get out of our own way.

A lot of it is our own self sabotage.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

And I think we just get stuck.

I mean one technology in our phones haven't helped, obviously.

A lot of issues.

Yeah.

As amazing as they are, they've caused us a lot of issues because we think we're just, we're connected to people, but it's really disconnected us from real interactions in some ways.

So that is the first thing to be thinking about.

Yeah.

And I can get sucked in it.

I mean I see people in person a lot beyond my family, but I also can get sucked into that trap 100%.

Right.

I think all of us.

Yeah.

And so we one, we have to be aware of that so that we can make sure that that should not be replacing in person relationships with someone else.

That's right.

And the other thing I want to bring up, we were talking about this earlier, but I had written down some notes.

I was listening to somebody's post online and it just had some really powerful stuff kind of about God moving in our lives.

But two things he said was if you feel stuck, often it's hesitation, meaning, are you waiting just like for you, the purpose filled kitchen, you, you obviously might not have acted on immediately, but then you just eventually you took the step.

Just like me starting this faith podcast.

I had already started a different podcast, which I still have.

I started this one after that one because, and I didn't tell soul about it for like five months when I first started it because I, but I was being obedient to start, right?

So I took, I took a step.

But I think sometimes we hesitate because we don't know what to do with it.

Just do something.

And it does, doesn't mean you need to start a podcast or a thing.

What I'm saying is like you have an interest in something, go research the idea, go buy a book on the topic, right?

So I'm just saying take a little step.

Doesn't mean you have to go like launch some huge thing.

And so that's the first thing I tell people just to encourage them.

And the other thing he says is God isn't withholding clarity, he's waiting on courage.

And I've fallen into this trap where I know he wanted me to do the podcast.

I know things like that.

But then sometimes I felt like I wasn't really clear on okay, what now with it, you know, we're like.

But then when I heard that, I was like, you know what?

Like, yes, I've had courageous, I've done things, but I believe what I, what's happened, happening to me is I'm doing what's coming easy to me and I haven't been stretching myself to do the uncomfortable.

In other words, I'm not saying that I haven't been moving, but God's saying, but there's so much more and you still haven't stepped into that yet.

So for some persons person it might be they're not moving at all.

But I think for me I was moving.

But he's saying, you still haven't moved in the way that I'm asking you to or in enough of a way, you know I'm saying.

And so I Just want to encourage people like, God's waiting on us.

He's waiting on us because that's when he shows up, just like saying like, God, do you want me to do this other, you know, go become a chef?

He's not always going to give us the audible answer, but what he's saying is, I'll move after you show me your faithfulness and you moving and taking that step.

Step.

So good, right?

So good.

Because you know, is it, Matthew, that you are the light of the world, right?

Let your light shine before others that they may see God's good deeds, right?

And glorify the Father in heaven.

I think that's Matthew 5, I believe.

And it's, it's about, you know, God is going to.

You don't have to know the whole plan.

When do you.

Anyway, this is the funny thing.

None of us ever know the whole plan about anything, right?

You know, somebody said to me, you know, what if I get married and I get divorced?

I say, yeah, but what if you don't?

But what if you don't?

And they're like, oh, but what if I don't?

Because your brain will naturally go to a negative response.

It's just the way the brain is built to, to survive, right?

To help us with survival.

But the, the, the encouragement that I would give people is that if, let's say they do want to start a podcast, there's a million of us starting podcasts.

So you can actually find now how to start a podcast 101.

You know, so what I would say is don't even think of the whole picture, but think of what it is you're desiring in your heart.

I did not know what it was to be a chef ever.

I never, ever set foot in the kitchen.

I had no idea, right?

But I said, okay, God, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna register for the school.

So I hear fathers pay for their kids tuitions.

I'm gonna ask you to do that because I don't know what I'm gonna do.

And he did, right?

But I did not have an idea of what the first step is.

Neither did you when you started kindergarten, Neither did you when you started high school.

School for the first time, college, whatever.

You don't know what you don't know.

And that is exciting, right?

So start one, one little step at a time.

So if you have an idea or inkling or something that's pushing you and pulling you, then say to yourself, okay, I like to make jewelry, but where do you even start making what is.

What is jewelry making?

Can I make money out of this?

How do I do this?

Right?

Start there.

I don't know.

The book will come out, you know, go to Michael's, do something.

Right.

But the whole point is, is the one step will take you to the second step.

That'll take you to the third step, and so on and so forth.

And then before you know it, you are 15 to 20 steps ahead of the person you used to be.

And now somebody out there that's just going, how do I even start this?

You already know the first 10 steps.

Absolutely.

That's just how it is.

So go for it.

Your life is short.

You're not promised tomorrow, so don't wait on tomorrow.

A lot of people had plans today, Kristen.

A lot of people had plans today and didn't make it right.

But if you did, then make it count.

Make it count.

It's the only one you have.

Yeah, absolutely.

I love it.

Okay, what.

As we wrap up here, what is maybe just one.

What?

Would you just like to leave the listeners with maybe just a word of encouragement?

Yeah, you know what?

God knows the plans he has for you.

Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to bring your hope and a future.

And if you pray to him, he will hear you.

And so I will encourage you that whatever is coming against you, whatever is bogging you down, whatever is, you know, making you feel maybe stressed or worried or whatever, all of this, my friends, is temporary.

Because just like our lives, we are a vapor in the wind.

So is what you're going through.

It is a vapor in the wind.

And we will have challenges, and then we will also have blessings and things coming in our way.

So don't let the challenges supersede.

Don't let that happen.

I remember this, and I'll leave you with this.

There was this woman that came to me that was very upset, and she was stuck in a pattern because her daughter died in an accident, a drunk driving accident.

And she was destroyed.

So she had come to me.

It was five years later, she was still repeating the same day, like Groundhog's Day, right?

And I said to her, can I ask you what good can come out of your daughter dying?

And she got so mad at me, and she hung up the phone and she was pissed off.

Two weeks later, she comes back and she says, I was so mad at you, Nina.

But question kept ringing in my ear.

And now she actually helps by going to high schools to talk about drunk driving and how God only knows how many kids she has Saved by talking about this.

Right.

So what I will say to you is that even in the darkest places, God can use it for your good.

So don't worry about it.

Whatever's happening, say, okay, God, thank you for letting this happen.

Could this go by quickly?

Because I want to keep doing this, but thank you.

And I'm going to learn so that I can use it later.

That's what I would encourage people with.

Yeah.

So good.

Okay, so, Nina, tell us, where can people connect with you online and learn more about, you know, your shows and the book and all those things?

Yeah.

So you could find anything under Nina Perez, which is N E E, N A P E R E Z. I have a website and everything, which is getting rebuilt.

But you can go on to the purpose filled kitchen on YouTube and Chef Nina Perez everywhere else, like Nina Perez or Chef Nina Perez, you will find me.

I love it.

Well, thank you so much for taking the time to join us to share a little bit about your story, to share with us, just the heart you have for helping people step into more purpose in their life and then also just to come together in community and, you know, as we break bread and that we use the table as a place, like you said, to connect, to encourage each other, and to just actually have conversation again and to fill these spaces with faith and purpose.

So thank you so much.

Thank you for having me.

I really appreciate this conversation.

Absolutely.

As I wrap up today's episode, I just want to share a couple quotes with you that really speak to the heart of the conversation I had with Nan today.

The first is from the book Taste and See by Margaret Feinberg.

She says, as we break bread, we find the satisfaction of our deepest hungers in the community our souls crave.

As we share our lives, we taste and see God's fruitfulness.

And then she also.

It also says in the book, every table is a doorway, an entrance into a holy and sacred communion with God and those around us.

And then the last thing I'll share from her book, she's talking about having gone to dinner one night with, I think it was with new friends, and they were worn out from just life and showing up to dinner and thinking, like, oh, we committed to it, but, like, we're worn out.

So they go.

But at the end of the evening, the four of us talked late into the evening and I didn't want to leave.

By the time we said goodbye, a spiritual bond had formed.

We had arrived, cranky, sore and exhausted, but left satiated in our bellies and hearts.

Together, we had enjoyed the gift of food, the gift of togetherness, the gift of presence, as Christian Morgenstern might say.

We came home and I think that's kind of the point of what Nina and I were getting at, which is breaking bread with people.

In other words, sitting down at a table with people or over a cup of coffee, making time for people by coming together and doing it around a table, right around food or a drink is such a good way to connect, to fill people up.

And sharing food or just being intentional with our times is so important.

And then the last quote that I want to share with you is this is from the book the Turquoise Table that I mentioned in the episode.

And the author says, could it be that, like the old village, well, this ordinary table in a world of all the technology and busyness and modern conveniences creates a gathering place where real conversation can take place.

And I think that's what's so important, is we live in a time, as I mentioned in the episode, where it's so easy to think that we're connected through our phones, whether it's on social media or we send a text, a quick text to somebody.

But that is so much, not even surface level connections, right?

It's.

It's kind of like we have a contact with somebody, but it's not.

That doesn't fill ourselves up.

And so we need to get back to this place of connection, this place of creating community, a place of togetherness and a place where we put our phones down and we allow ourselves to be filled with conversation and connection and things that we have that are through points like a food or a drink or meeting someone for an experience.

So my hope for you and you know, this year is that you will make time for more of these moments and make time to be creating memories and get deeper with people.

Don't just stay at the surface conversations like actually ask questions that matter and want to know the answers.

So I just hope that this conversation helped you and will bless you this year.

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