What to do When Your Life isn’t Aligned with Your Heart & Purpose Anymore

build_a_life_You_Love_season2_Shayna_Meyer

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

life, trauma, love, people, journey, breathwork, feel, vegas, point, talked, important, find, enjoyment, started, ranch, left, method, thought, horses, realize

SPEAKERS

Kristin Fitch

00:00

Are you ready for a richer life to build a business you love with a little more ease, and spend time with the people you love. Make sure you're taking care of yourself, and you're doing things that light you up and just make you excited for life. Well, welcome to building a life you love. This is your host, Kristen. And each week we're going to have guests on, and we're going to talk to them about how do they build amazing businesses? How do they have impact in the world? And how do they make their family and the things they love a priority in their lives, and also make ourselves a priority. I'm so glad you've joined us. And I can't wait to provide you with really great ideas and conversations and things that will inspire you and motivate you to make the small changes in your life that will make a big difference. I'd say on the show, we are going to talk about how do we actually get to the point where we enjoy our lives, that we can step through any trauma we've had or turmoil to really live our best lives. And our guest today is going to share a pivotal moment in her life when she realized she was going after the life that society tells us is the things we should want. And what she had to do what she had to step through in order to really design a life of enjoyment and design and life around her priorities, not what the world was telling her she should focus on. So take a listen because I think we can all align to to finding ourselves in a place where maybe it's time to make a change. Today on the show. I would like to welcome Shana Michelle, she's the founder and the creator of the enjoyment method. It guides women to deeper in peace and ecstatic enjoyment in their lives. Welcome, Shana.

01:42

Hi, Kristin. Nice to see you. Thank you for having me today.

01:47

Oh, absolutely. So can you first start by telling us a little bit about sort of your journey and you know how you found you found it and creative to join it method and

01:57

how you help people now? Oh, absolutely. Well, it's, it's been quite the journey. It's been exciting. And it's been it's been long, but it's led me to here. So I'm grateful for that. Um, you know, I grew up in southern Idaho on a ranch I was the product of a world champion cowboy and my family and I traveled all around the United States, watching my dad compete. And it was just amazing. It was all American, it was ideal it you know, we had bucking horses and bulls on our property after my dad retired from from actually writing. And it was just full of adventure. And there's always something going on. And we were out out on the ranch constantly. And it just seemed like so much fun. And as much as I love my horses, and I love the ranch, I also really love to dance. And so as time went on, I kind of outgrew my dance teachers in southern Idaho. And there was an opportunity for me to audition for performing arts high school in Las Vegas when I was 14. And next thing you know, off, I was to Las Vegas by myself at 14. And I remember being kind of shocked about that, because the other side of the story is that I grew up in a very strict, devout Mormon family. And I was just kind of shocking to me that how, however devout they were that the goal of me being a dancer was more important. And I just I found it on a lot of levels really endearing and supportive, that that they would support my goals like that. And then of course, with being alone at such a young age in Las Vegas, I did live with an aunt and uncle, who I didn't really know that well, but they ended up being great to me and all the things. So it was a bit of a transition, but it worked out well. Anyways, as time went on, I started to experience the loneliness and the hurt and those sorts of like questions like, wow, is dance more important than your daughter and just kind of some of those things started sneaking in. But I was so goal oriented and so driven, and also, so poor, didn't have a chance to really slow down. So it was just one goal to the next to the next to the next I graduated high school, went to university worked in shows all over Las Vegas as a professional dancer. And then again, I'm like still working so hard pounding the pavement and tired of being broke. So as soon as I graduated from high school, or from university, excuse me, I got my real estate license, and then life really took off. I hit that market right at the right point in time. I, again, being just the overachiever and extremely driven, dedicated. I rose right to the top of the real estate business. And all of a sudden I had ever Think I'm in Vegas 25 or six years old, making millions of dollars a year, I had, I was no longer broke. I had all the fanciest clothes, the fanciest cars. And something inside of me was just miserable. And one day, it all came to a head. I was dropping off diamond rings that I had. And in a hurry, I mean, I don't know that my feet ever touched the ground, it was just always like somewhat levitating above, above the ground. So I pull it on my car, run into drop the diamond ring off and run back out, get in my Range Rover, put it in reverse and look up. There's a there's Starbucks right next to the diamond store and a little old lady walking out, she had coffee in her hand, she put her hand on my car, to study herself while I'm in a hurry. And all of a sudden, this fire lights from inside of me. This fury runs through my head. And I looked through the window at her and I said, Get your hand off my car. And I was even kind of taken aback by it. But I was like, already in the middle of this situation. She looked up at me so slowly and surely. And she said You are one miserable little girl. And I thought who

06:26

didn't say anything. And I looked at her and I said, Get your hand off my car. Back up, I left I went through the rest of my whole day. But that night, when I went to bed, I thought there was something wrong. There's something wrong in a big way. And I need to figure this out. And whereas where's the sweet little blonde, Shane, our ranch girl that used to run around with our horses and just be full of joy and full of happiness. And that moment changed my life that was over 15 years ago and I can't tell you how many times I wish I would have or could find that lady and hug her and she was an angel she was an angel to me she held that mirror that I needed to look at myself and go start asking all the questions. Why am I here? What am I doing? I'm like being blinded led by all these different goals and ambitions that are that even my goals whose goals are they. And so I truly consider her her an angel. I'm so grateful for her she brings up that story brings up so much emotion for me, every time I tell I tell that story a lot. But it's the it's one of the most embarrassing stories of my life. But I share it with full vulnerability because it changed my life. And at that moment, I began a journey to figure out what was going on. And it took me almost 15 years to to understand and put all of the people pieces of the puzzle together. And ultimately, what I realized is that I'm a product of a covert narcissist, mother, and a religious and political fanatic family. And those three things together created an overachiever monster in me, it did create it created the um, never enough created all those sorts of beliefs. And so you know, when we can find those themes, and and, again, shine that mirror on them or put the microscope on and bring them to life and face them have the bravery to face them, then we can change our life.

08:35

Oh, my goodness, I did I got goosebumps when you were telling that story as well, because I think we've all had that moment in some way in in some cases, it was probably pivotal for everything and other cases, we probably realize in that day, just the behavior we were putting out right? And or we've probably done both right, we've probably had both experiences where you know, it's not your normal. And then other times, like you said, where it's come to the point where you realize it's become your normal, but it shouldn't be and so I love that you share that, you know, you know, on many platforms, because I think it's important. And I think it's important because we all get to a point in our lives where we realize what I've been doing isn't working, you know, on the soul level and on the heart level. And just all the things like you said it doesn't materialistically or life wise, family wise, it can look like everything is great, but it's when you know, you can feel that you hear that whisper that ache that something's not aligned, you know, and so,

09:37

yeah, you know, you just said it best it is. It's hard when we when we finally get to a spot where we're our soul or purpose. Our mission is outgrowing the current vessel so to speak, is difficult. It's the same like diamonds are created under time, pressure just all of a sudden we become uncomfortably comes on top trouble to be who we are, you know, when I look back at had that girl that I was at that moment. And since I was a little girl, there was some there was something about me even though I grew up such as a simple life on the ranch, I love that life, there was something that always drew me to the glitz and the glamour and the big lights and that I wanted to make money. I wanted to be independent, you know, and this is not a this is not a sentiment that was really widely held in my small town of Jerome, Idaho, you know, at that time in their mid 80s. And so this was that was something that came from within inside me to even get to that point. And then at that point, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I'm so uncomfortable. This is, this is just not all who I am. I'm actually so embarrassed my behavior. And what do I do now? You know, and it was truly almost as if I had outgrown every single goal I had had for myself. And I And for years, I couldn't find another goal. I could not find it because it was just Sunday, because the goal was to actually go inside. And as soon as I started taking this journey inside oh, yeah, no, for years. That's that's the most amazing journey. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So tell us. So you,

11:16

you had this life changing moment you started, you know, reflecting and doing some introspection. So what does that look like? You know, tell us part of that journey, like, and what what did you learn from it? Well,

11:29

I mean, like I said, it took me 18 years about two to get to this point. But the first thing I did is I went back to my ranch, I bought a little place across the road from my parents in Idaho. And I just started trying to put one foot in front of the other and tuning into, like, how does this make me feel? I really miss my horses. By that time, I had been away from home, I think for well over 1012 years at that time, maybe even a little bit more. And had you know, since I was 14, I went back for like a Christmas break or whatever. But I had never just gone back to be with my family. I miss my family, I yearn for them like you're in for the time, the horses just like to get out of the love batons and fancy suits to get into my cowboy boots and my jeans and just put my feet in the dirt sometimes, and you know, all those things. So I did that I got back to nature, I got back to those those other passions that I knew were there. And, you know, like I said, I couldn't even find a goal. But I found that and that one spark started me on that journey. And then as I was there, that's when I started to learn more about my family. And like, it was not what I remembered leaving it at 14, right, it was different. I had also now made something of myself. And so then with the covert narcissist, mother, that starts to create the jealousy and then in fighting the tension. That was confusing, right? Because we look up to our parents, and we don't sometimes recognize that they are just little kids too, in a way. So anyways, that started that whole education and then then I would go back to Vegas and appreciate that. And I recognized that I was very dynamic in all these needs that I wanted, but I don't feel like I'm alone. I feel like we're all very dynamic and that we have to honor all those sides of us, you know, see this as so many women, so many women like once they become a mom, well they forget their sensuality, they forget you know their beauty they forget their quick wit they forget it or it just gets it leaves with the sleep depression, right? Okay, um, but there are so many beautiful sides that color all of us. And so I just started trying to lean into all the things that I liked. And then of course, like it just one, one thing after another when you really start tuning into those things is you start to learn about yourself, if you really start to listen to yourself, right. And then ultimately, ultimately, for me, one of the one of the biggest things that was a massive blessing in my life is my my grandmother that lived there in southern Idaho with us. She was a Master Herbalist one of the most successful women Master Herbalist, and so my entire life I was really taught a lot about health and wellness and herbs and the effectiveness of plant meant medicine. And so anytime my life started to feel like it was spinning out of control, I always had the ability to come back to myself through my health and wellness. So that was something that really anchored me always especially even just my practice and dance and pilates and all of that stuff. I would just come back to there. So I will keep coming back to that foundation. And, and then every time again, you just keep growing right as you do to yourself or whatever. And ultimately, I went on, it was about a two year journey, after I had my kids after, so I met my husband moved to Vancouver, Canada. And for the first time of my life, I had no friends, no family, and out pregnant brand new babies, you know, this whole stage, and it was very alone. And it was very quiet. And all of a sudden, that hurt that I thought I'd done so much work on that I thought I had been really, you know, all the things when I finally was given the gift of,

15:44

of the quiet time, the respite that I talked about, like the break from just having to earn money from all of the things, all of the sudden, that just took front and center stage, and especially the absences. That's where the absence of my mother really started to show up big time. And, and I, by the time my daughter was about one year old, she's the second of my babies. I knew something was really wrong. And so I went 100% alcohol free for almost a year, I tuned into all my breathwork into all my I mean, I just was like, so adamant that I was going to figure this out. And within about 30 days of a journaling program, breathwork, crystals, my herbs, all of that stuff, it all finally came together to discover that trauma. And that is the key, we have to get to that. But I truly don't believe we can get to that until we lay the foundation of our health. And so that is what that is why the enjoyment method, when once I felt the feeling that I felt once I discovered my own personal trauma, for for my whole life, I went along thinking, and it served me on most levels. I am so blessed, I am so grateful. I have been getting all these opportunities, I got to reach small town, Idaho and go, you know, to the big lights and have opportunity and have success. I felt so grateful. And I always I still do you still do that do. But at the end of the day, I was also extremely emotionally abused and mentally abused and manipulated and gaslighted and stonewalled and all the things. And that was that nagging, clenching, sickening feeling in my heart and gut that I held for, for most of my adult life. Once I discovered that the freedom, peace, the joy, the happiness, the guts and bravery, I was just like I could, if I've been going my whole life with basically my mother as my number one enemy. Imagine what I can do now that I know that information, you know, I just felt so free and alive and awake. And I wanted that feeling for everybody. Yeah, just to be available to like, how do you? How do we replicate that? So that is how the enjoyment method was born, I really went back through and looked at every single piece of the puzzle that it took me to figure this out. And I'm hoping to replicate that for people in a much shorter time than 15 to 20 years.

18:26

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, there's so much there. I think a couple of things. Yeah, a couple of things that were kind of came up for me when you're talking about that is one you kind of spoke to when you had that feeling and you realize like, something's got to change, I've got to figure out what's going on with me and, and get to a better place. The first thing you talked about is and I think this is so true in our lives for for everything. You you tapped into your curiosity, you tapped into your exploration, right, like you said, you started being curious about Hold on, what is it that I've been going after? And is this really what I want? Is this, who I really want to be? And then what things light you up? Right? So I think that's one that's key for people to recognize. Whether it's a good time or a part time for you, we have to be curious about new things or be curious about what did we used to love that maybe we've put aside or we've paused I think that's important. And then the next thing is, is you talked about this, but I like to tell people, you do need to learn about yourself. You need alone time, and you need to date yourself. And by that I mean, I remember in high school, I was waiting tables down at the beach of the oceanfront. And I remember like the first time I ever went to lunch by myself, because I'm one of five kids. There was always people around. So for me, that is a very strange feeling at that age, you know, like, Well, what do you what do you mean? Why would I go somewhere by myself? I remember the first time I was at a conference and I went to dinner, sat at the bar because I was by myself at a conference and then I went to a movie by myself and I remember it used to be uncomfortable, right? But then you realize if you never shot out by yourself, you never go pick something out by yourself, you're always going to be impacted by the person you're with opinions of what you're choosing, you just are even if you try not to be. So I think you have to really get to know yourself when you're not someone else is not around at every minute.

20:15

You know, it's such a good point. I mean, it's something that I didn't bring up earlier. But we can certainly talk about now, it was that point, right, there was a huge part of my journey as well, the way I ran my real estate business was that I would, the highrise market was just coming on right at the time when I got my license. And I was just like, oh, this, this is so cool. I love this city. This is like the new like, sexy thing. I was young, I was like ready to do this. And so what I recognized is developers needed at least 20 to 30% of pre sales, before the banks would drop down their financing to build these massive buildings. So that's a very risky spot for those developers. So what I did is I would go out and prospect investment groups, and then made relationships with these developers over here in Vegas, to get some sort of like a volume discount, if I could sell five units, if I could sell 10, whatever, better views or a lower down payment schedule, anything just didn't work. So then I would go and sell those to my investment group. So I was on the road a lot by myself, and I would go to people in Vegas didn't understand the high risk market. So I would go to Chicago and I would go to Miami and I put all these different places. I loved that time, the same until that time, I never spent a minute alone, I was either with like, all my colleagues or my dance friends or my this, my dad and, and constantly spinning and all of a sudden, during that time, I felt in love with being by myself. And that right there was about at the beginning of that journey. It was like I was spending a lot of time by myself, I started to have more introspection, because then you can hear what what is your intuition saying to you? And, and like you said earlier, lean into those things, those curiosities, they are mistakes. They are there to guide you to give you a roadmap on where to go. So lean in. Absolutely. And then you had brought up?

22:24

Well, okay, so I guess then you talked about, you know, you, you finally realized you came to another kind of point in the road where you realized some other things got to change because you're you know, you have I think two young kids at the time, and you realized, you are not in a place that you want to stay. And so you started doing these different practices, the different modalities. But over that month, you started to really uncover a deeper the deeper traumas that were there or the truth. I mean, so what would you say about that? They're like, how I know you said you were journaling and breathwork. But is there anything with that, that you would just recommend people that if maybe they still feel like there's these uneasy things? Are these traumas, maybe they, maybe they know that a little bit of those are going on? You know, a lot of us know, like, Oh, this one comment that was made when I was a third grader, or, you know, because we do all of us hold on to some trauma, what hyper said is, we don't deal with it. And some of those are, some of them are deeper, and some of them are, you've held longer. But is there what would you just say to people about that? Like, how do we even step into uncovering some of these things? If maybe we aren't at that, that point where we there's nothing else we can do but go forward?

23:32

Yeah, so. So a lot of some people, you know, have their their trauma is very obvious, they know that their spouse was killed or that they're, you know, they lost a parent very, something, something like this. For for people like myself, and there's a lot of us like, as you said, All of us have some sort of micro trauma, all of us where that becomes micro to macro and chronic. I'm not quite sure what that line is. But the bottom line is, we all have hurt inside here. And so what I did was just truly get go back all the way to the basics. So I did every morning, I would wake up, I would do a journaling routine, like a journaling dump. So I would wake up, grab my journal, and it doesn't even make sense. Like it would be like, Ah, it's, you know, 6am and I don't know, if I brush my teeth, and you know, it's just like literally whatever is coming to your head a bit out because what that does is it clears your brain out and allows what actually is in there to start coming out. And so I would just do that very, very, very, very consistently for you know, this whole time I just started the journaling, and then the breathwork I love Lucas Mac and Hala Weston. I don't know if you follow them, but if not, I highly recommend them. They own Oh awakened breath. And their daily breath. work routine is amazing because it's, it's fast enough, but it's deep enough. Our breath is something that most of us are not aware of. And it's so powerful. So, so powerful. And I'm talking about active breathing. And it's literally been here since the minute we were born. But it detoxifies our body, it brings forth trauma, and it brings forth an intuition. So it is just a wonderful tool so that their daily breathwork routine is 10, deep belly breaths in and out, hold on the exhale for 10 seconds. 20 in 20, out, hold on the exhale for 20 seconds 30 in 30 out, hold on the exhale for as long as you can. And then this is when I asked in my head, what is my intuition? Want me to know today? And then from there, I grabbed my journal again, and actually write with intention, and actually write what is coming up and thinking, what am I feeling and then getting really into what my motion is, and like being super present with everything in my body. And that routine, within 30 days and again, being alcohol free, making sure drug free, of course, like no, no anything in my system to make sure that that is very clear and very open, very ready to receive. And when you ask What's with true willingness and true need to know a yearning, I just a huge believer that it will come.

26:40

Absolutely, I talked to so many people that have done the work to heal, you know, past traumas, or you know, or they've done so much work. And of course, maybe they're still walking through it. But so many of them talk about either journaling or breathwork or similar practices, right. And some of them might journal, but then you know, they might burn it, they might, you know, they have maybe a ritual practice. And that I think it is so powerful. And I think part of that is that you're taking the time, once again, in quiet, and then having time for reflection. And like you said, having time for your mind to actually quiet down and then process these things. You know, because we are so busy all the time that we rarely are quiet with our own thoughts. I think actually it's it's uncomfortable for a lot of us know, if

27:24

we haven't practiced it. Absolutely, it takes practice to all of this takes practice. And what's so neat though, is as you do go on this journey, you do start to see yourself getting better, and you do start to feel the intuition coming forward. And the more you start to lean into it, you see it you see it manifesting in your life. And so it's really, it's a fun game to play. So yeah, both of those things that we just talked about, you know, those those daily routines like that, that would that would fall into the ritual aspect of the the enjoyment method. But as you keep coming back to that time and that quiet, listening, and being by yourself, that is the wrested sector of the enjoyment method and just being there for it, whatever it may come, be there for it.

28:12

Yeah, and what else would you want to share with us about your about the enjoyment method, and just how might we apply these other areas in our own lives?

28:21

Yeah, well, you know, the very first part of the enjoyment method is the foundation is health, the physical health part because you there is no way you can be happy if you're not healthy, like it's just the bottom line. So we have to lay that foundation. And then I work with an amazing girl. Her name is Heather Ken, she's a psychotherapist. She specializes in narcissistic abuse, PTSD and trauma. And so she leads all the, the trauma and grief and all that excavation is what I call it. And she's wonderful at helping walk people through that. I know it's so important, but by no means am I qualified to to actually lead people on that that journey, but I knew it was an intricate piece of that. And then here's the deal, what happens is when we start to unlock all this, as I said, in my own journey, we just become so like, free and excited. And you know, the hit the star is you want to do all the things. And so it's important to harness that in that time and go do it. You know, go whatever that dream is you've always wanted to do and you just didn't think you could do it. That is the time so that's the those are the fun parts that adventure that I get people to go do things that they've always wanted to do, but they never thought they could. They're almost like those things that make you like feel sick thinking about it, but you really are intrigued by it. Right? That's that part of the bravery is a lot about like, for me that was writing this 12 page letter to my family going hey, this is this happened. And this happened this happened, it was so hurtful and I want an answer, like, give me the answer. And then their response was everything, which was no response. Right? So that's the bravery took a lot of bravery. For weeks writing that email, and as soon as I did, it solidified my answers, everything clicked in, you know. So I just want all of these people that come on this journey with us harnessing every part of this leaning into the trauma leaning into the health, go live those wildest dreams, like all of it, and and what we see when you come out the other side of it is just a person that's transformed, and alive and glowing and full of joy. Yeah, yeah. And

30:45

I think, as you were saying that, you know, the two things that kind of I was thinking about were one, right, like the the trauma work, or the, you know, the journaling and the intersection. It's allowing us to kind of hear our own truth, right, because we've been tamping it down. But the other thing is when you said about the, the letter or the email to your, your family, the other thing is, is, this is true in all of our relationships, but we have to speak the truth. And, and in every, in our whole lives, we often we don't, especially as women, you know, men too, can do this. But we, oh, I don't want to tell my spouse or oh, they seem like tired or irritated. Or, oh, I don't want to tell my friend because they might be offended. So often, we don't speak our full truth. Right, we hold back we reserve, you know, and of course, with the trauma, you're just talking about an even bigger truth, right, that maybe we never were. So I think the point is, is every time you speak your truth, you you speak what you need to say there's a release, there's a freedom from that. And I think it's, it's a practice, you have to continue constantly, at least most of us I know, I do. You know, I find myself doing that some days, you know, like, oh, wait, right? I won't say anything today it but then when I do, I'm like, Oh my God, why didn't I just say it five days ago, a month ago, I feel so much better? You know? So I think it's, that's a really good point.

32:00

And do you find that a lot of times, if you keep waiting and keep waiting, keep waiting, and also, like just really want it to write, trust me, I'm so guilty of that as well. I like to equate it like this. It's like having a huge beach ball, and you're trying to push it under the pool water, and you're just like, shut down and you're walking around. Everybody's like what's going on with that person, like, a beach ball under there. And it's like, just let it up. Like, you know, everybody knows, they're already not really hiding anything. And it's really uncomfortable for you. So let's just do this.

32:38

Absolutely. And I wish I could remember that there's this example or story. And I'm not going to remember exactly what they basically say like, it's just like a nature, your truth is always going to continue to find a path forward to get out. There's just no way around it. It just isn't until you let it it's going to continue to you know, basically cause trouble in your life, if you will.

33:00

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, ultimately, that's that's energy that can be sick, right? Yeah, that sort of energy that sits in your body that needs an escape that needs somewhere to go. So I the the first part of the health program called activate, and that is movement is 100% movement, not only through the breath through the body, and then through an herbal that we call cat's claw combination, that opens up all the detoxification channels and gets those detox the toxins to start running out. So it is just so important to move, move, move, move your motion, move, move it all move it all out. So what what about okay, so

33:47

would you say most people, I mean, all of us, at some point have self doubt or limiting beliefs, right, these old narratives or stories? Would you say most of those are tied back to our, our trauma? Or would you say there's some themes that can you see the most often with your clients? That are ones that we should be aware of? So that we can make sure that's not the narrative and the things we're moving forward with it in our lives?

34:11

Yeah, I mean, I, what I see a lot are people that that have, of course, the childhood traumas, the generational traumas are a massive thing right now. I think. on many levels, we're kind of the first generation that get to really explore on a deeper level. We weren't like busy like trying to survive the Great Depression or World War Two or you know, these types of things. And so those are like our parents and grandparents. And so these upcoming generations haven't had to endure that. So now we get to look and go like actually, why are you Why did you spank me like, like Yeah, I came from a ranch family. Like, we gotta say, You got spanked by the bell. And a lot of times, like, let's be honest, we probably deserved it. And that, to me wasn't where the damage came, the damage came from the mental manipulation and all the gains around that, you know. So I feel like a lot of us, regardless of whatever it is, if it's alcoholism, or if it's, you know, narcissistic abuse or molestation, even this is generational stuff, you can almost just keep jumping back to every single generation I and the thing is, is I think what's the most important thing to ask, especially nowadays, where their tensions are just so high. It's my belief that we are never going to get out of this until each of us individually start to heal ourselves. And we get out of this fear based thinking, Yeah, we are so in gold and this fear based thinking. And I know like, I mean, personally, growing up in a Mormon family that was very much a believer of the Second Coming and all that I genuinely didn't think I would see my 14th birthday. I remember turning 14 and going, Oh, thank goodness, I'm still hear like Christ hasn't come and like, blown us up in a ball of fire yet. And I genuinely was just like, grateful that I made it to my 14th birthday. And then of course, like my 21, I was still there was starting to lose doubts. And after y2k, you know, all the different things. I was like, okay, you know, so those are a lot of limiting beliefs. And it's like, Well, why do you think that way? And what I did for those I just started studying other religions, I started studying other philosophies. And that helped me to broaden my horizon that helped help to broaden my viewpoint and broaden my scope. So it's like, well, if this is what was told to me, since the day I was born, right, let me go discover that thing for myself. And that's what it comes back to gratitude. With getting to go to Las Vegas and getting to go get out of my little small community, as much as I love that little community. It offered me a chance to see many other much wider viewpoints, which might escaped me from my limiting beliefs and took me out of judgment, which took me out of fear and into love.

37:16

Yeah, yeah. And I actually did a really good interview last or last summer with a pastor, and a female pastor, actually, she didn't become a field pastor. So she was in her 40s, you know, family and kids. But her whole life, she was drawn towards that. But she actually had a mother that had been harmed by by Christianity, and she's obviously a Christian pastor, I aligned myself as a Christian as well. But her episode is so interesting, because she talks about If faith in the viewpoint of certain, or religion is such that it's harmful to you, or it's detrimental, if that is not the same thing that is dangerous, right? So it was a really good episode, because she talks about, you know, and I've interviewed someone else who left their, their particular faith denomination because of the harm that was caused to them. But you know, once again, so her whole point is, is if it's not coming from in to love, you know, even though obviously, her and I aligned with that particular facet to faith. In the end, you know, she even say no, no, if you're saying it's hateful, or it's this, like such guilt focused, it's not healthy, and therefore that is not of God. Right. And so, I thought it was she did such a good job much more eloquent than I'm saying, but yeah, you have to, but if you don't see other viewpoints, you can't assess against, you know, what you've been told to see if that's where you align with your with your own beliefs and truth?

38:45

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's like, well, how did you come up with that information? Did you learn it on your own? Or Did somebody tell it to you and you just took it as Bible or whatever we want to say? And that's the thing, oh, my whole mission is to spread joy and happiness and religion of all sorts is isn't a source of joy. And, you know, people have gratitude and reverence and I love all of that stuff. And and, and it's, it's been that for me as well, you know, there's, it's, it was a huge anchor to me as I was alone in Vegas at 14 and all of that. But certainly when, as you said, when there become points where like, you get that feeling in your gut, and you're like, oh, that doesn't feel so right. That kind of hurts. But what that doesn't make sense, you said this, but then did that that's where it starts to become toxic.

39:40

That's right. Absolutely. So what would you want to leave us with with any last tips or just thoughts? You know, before we find out how people can connect with you and learn more about you online? Oh, my goodness.

39:52

I as you know, as you can see, I can talk for days and I have lots to say but I think the most important thing We are, in a time where there's so much sadness, there's so much hurt. There's so much isolation, there's so much loneliness, we are the sickest nation in the world, even though we have the most access to health care and finances, and medical doctors and medicine and all the things it's like, it's like sad and sick and lonely and the whole thing, really, it just feels like it's all breaking down. And what I what I want to share is that there's hope, and that it's so important that we, we begin by loving ourselves, which helps us to love others get out of that fear based mentality, and that there's hope for all of us. Every single one of us can heal ourselves, to live a life of joy and to live a life out loud and in color.

40:50

Yeah. And what I would just add to that, because you talked about this earlier, but I think it's really important because I so agree, all those things are going on. And it's it's very sad, but I feel like my role and I can tell you as well is to be an encourager in the world and to share hope and love. But I would tell people, the way we do that is get into big nature, right? Figure out what are the routes that you want to keep, you know, connected to what are the connections that you want to have? What are the passions that lit you up? When whether it was when you were five or 25, right, or 35 or 50? Go after those things. And then make sure you're filling your life with things that you know really do bring you joy, right? Because, and then share your you know, serve others, I think, when you if you're lonely, go find someone to be the person for them. So they're not as lonely, right? I do think it's kind of not just being a mirror. But if we go out in the world and give others what we need most we will actually find it for ourselves.

41:48

100% 100% Yeah, I mean, as I said, I left my horses and went to Vegas and did and dance. But that's you can see right there. That's my, that's my horse Murphy. And he exerted so much adventure and exhilaration like I can't replace that anywhere else is the first place that I go. If I am feeling down and in Vancouver in the winter, that can easily happen. It's a lot of work to really stay up and excited here. But he offers that to me. And everybody deserves that whatever that is, you know, whatever that is for you. And to and to lean into those things like, this life is not supposed to be miserable, right? It's supposed to be beautiful, and it's all of our birthright to have that. Absolutely.

42:37

Can you tell us how can people connect with you online? Ah,

42:40

I'd love to see you guys online. So my instagram handle is at the Shana Meyer. It's SHA ye na EY er, my website is Shana michelle.ca. That's very important.ca. And yeah, I'll see you guys there. I would love to you can come join the waitlist for the enjoyment method. We're just getting ready to launch another container in June, I believe. Yeah, this coming June. So you can join the waitlist. And we'll see you over there. I love that.

43:11

Oh, I love it. Thank you so much for being on with us today and sharing your story and just some of your process on how you're helping people in the world.

43:19

Absolutely. Thank you for having me. It's been such a nice conversation.

43:23

What's so important about the conversation today is that if we find ourselves chasing standards and ideals, and even things that we've been told, that we should want, but that they don't feel aligned, that we're finding, we're not really acting or being the person we know, deep down we are. That it's time to make a change. It's time to reassess our priorities and what do we really want in our lives? What do we want to fill our time with? What lifestyle do we want to live in what at what pace? And I'll just share a poem by Amber Lily strong that's called cease all striving. And she says, exhaustion reigned supreme in a world that values without more than what's in fatigue fades us into the shadows of our truest selves. The wisest parts of us are whispering there has to be another way in minute arrives, the wake up to shake up the emboldened imitation to cease all striving. There is no departure needed when the yes belongs to you. There's no overcompensation when we listen for the melody of our own soul. Put on a song that brings you back. Drop your phone in the drawer. unplug from the cycle of never ending needs. swing open the doorway to your own golden center. Register bones in the quiet for a while. Take your time and breathe. You have journeyed many miles to get here. efforting for what isn't, is a form of self torture. To strive is to assume deficiency. There is nothing lacking about you. A rejuvenated you is the most glorious wellspring of possibility that exists. Fill yourself to the brim. Oh If you find you're striving and you're just worn out, and no matter what materialistic things you gave you just don't feel how you should. Then like I said, it's time to reassess, it's time to slow down to take a break, and to decide for yourself, what work do you need to do, so that you can move towards your truest self and what you most deeply desire to be in your life. I hope you have a great day and I'll see you back next episode. Once again. Thanks for listening to the podcast. And if you enjoyed the podcast, we would love it if you could leave a review on Apple podcasts that helps us get discovered by more people. We'd also love your feedback. So email me at Kristin at Kristin fitch.com or DM me on Instagram. I'm at Kristin Fitch and let me know what ideas or ideas for shows or for guests you have. I would love to hear

45:52

from you