What’s the Secret to a Long and Fulfilling Life? Learning How to Infuse Fun & Adventure into Our Lives

build_a_life_You_Love_Ep218_s3_replay_Megan_Holley_2021

Mon, Mar 13, 2023 4:16PM • 30:47

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

life, inspire, regrets, talks, joe dispenza, list, feel, friends, women, reading, dreams, realize, friendships, activity, hike, live, group, gift card, mountain biking, tips

Hi, and welcome back to building a life you love. This is your host, Kristen and I cannot wait to share today's episode with you. We are going to talk about the secret to a long and fulfilling life. And part of it has to do with infusing fun and adventure into our lives. Here's what I want to ask you. What is holding you back? What is the thing that's holding you back from going after your dreams and from finding meaningful work you love? Aren't you ready to wake up to the possibilities that are in your life and go after the things you've dreamt up? It's time for you to feel alive again lit up and for you to know that you're deserving, and you are worthy for the future that's waiting for you. I want you to feel fulfilled and find abundance in your life. I think it's time and I'm ready to help you get started. Now I'm your host Kristen of building a life you love. And each week on the show, we're gonna help you figure out how you do go after your dreams and find work you love. Here we go. Let's get started. I think you're gonna love today's episode with Megan Holly. She's on a mission to help inspire women live their best lives by adding more adventure and fun and new challenges into her every day. Her tips and all the things she's done. She had a list of 50 things to do in our 50th year. It's just inspiring. And I hope it will inspire you to spice up your life and realize that you're never too old to do new things and do hard things. And this is actually a replay of an episode that I've recorded in the summer of 2021. So it was so good. I cannot wait to share it with all of my new listeners. Hi, I am so excited today to have with me Megan Holly. She's on a mission to inspire women in their 40s and 50s to add more fun and adventure into their lives. And she's building a community around this idea on Facebook called at a page called Living out loud. And I can't wait to talk to her. welcome Megan.

Hello, thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to inspire women today and invite them to live their best life. That's fantastic. Would you like to share a little bit more with us about your background and sort of how you came to move into this mission?

Awesome. Yeah, I'd love to. So I just turned 50 this year. And in doing that, I noticed how often in life, we're given labels and things that make us feel a certain way and around 50 or even 40. It's all about you're over the hill, and you get diapers and xx for your birthday. And I was just like, No, absolutely not like that will not be me. And I grew up in Ontario on a farm with a mom who did a lot. There was five kids, she ran a farm, we had this huge garden, my dad worked out of town. And I realized now that I'm 50 Looking back at how much having a mum like that inspired me to think I could do anything. And we just had to do everything. So you learn a ton. And then through life, I've always looked for unique things to do or try different things. And then I found you got quite busy with having kids working. And then all of a sudden you're in your 40s and you have time. But you're kind of like who am I like I looked around my house and I was like, Is this decorated? How I want are these the clothes, I even like, like you're so you're running in and grabbing something. So I've slowly over the last couple years started rediscovering who I am in a more profound way. And, and because I've done massage therapy for 30 years, and I've heard what people say, especially women, when they come in, they have quite a bit of pain, or stress. And it's often because they're living life on someone else's terms. They've taken a job they don't really like they're trying to achieve enough money to buy the house that they don't even really want when they stop and think about it. So I started asking myself all these questions. And I realized we often are living a life that society wants, but it's not necessarily true to add. So I at this point out 50 A lot of women have more time and more money than they used to. And so experiences are something that are so inspiring. And when we can get ourselves turned around to think what do I want? What makes me feel good. It's most of the time trying things, taking a trip, meeting with friends and things like that. So I just want to inspire women. I want them to

To live life without regrets? Absolutely. So tell me I know when you turned 50, you came up with a list, I think of 50 things you wanted to do. Is that right? Yes, that is right. Yeah. Do you want to share a little bit about that? Your 50th year or where you're at with that list and how that's been going? Yes, I'd love to. I hope everyone does it. Yeah. So I started creating a list of 50 things for my 50s here, because you know, you always have things in your mind. And you're like, I want to take pottery, I want to, you know, do a hike, I want, even just a small thing to help at a soup kitchen. So I started my list. And I probably got into the 20. And then I had an evening with friends, and they all added ideas, and it was so amazing. And then some of them were gonna do together like an overnight to trip or help at the soup kitchen. So now, because I've been doing it, people start sending me ideas like this winter, I didn't get to it, but there was like an ice climbing wall. So people know that you're trying more things and they want to help you. So I've met now people that have done 40 things for their 40th year. And I just want to share with you my first one. Yeah, it was winter, winter camping in the mountains. So in November, in Alberta, Canada, we had a snow storm. And it was the next weekend. And my brother and sister and I hiked in I think it was six or seven kilometer with our packs. Through the snow. It wasn't too bad. But then you're up there all alone. It was called Lilian lake. And we had to set up our tent, you have to have your night like the snow was up to your knees to get to the outdoor washroom. Yeah. And so there's not a lot to do like it gets dark, and you just sit there around the fire and, and then you sleep in this tent that is like no thicker than a piece of paper. And you're out in the mountains, like the Rocky Mountains. And, and then in the morning, when it was time to leave, we ran into a man that had hiked up that morning. And he told us there was to bear track twice, on the way. And it really made me think like, Am I scared? How do I feel? And it just felt right. And when I got back to the car, I thought I can do hard things. It made this huge mental shift. Because we spent so much time thinking, I don't know anyone who's done that. That's hard. But if we actually just do it and try it, you're like, this wasn't hard, like hard and having a child hard and having a heart attack heart and running a marathon. You know, things if you train and set your mind right, are not as hard and they're so rewarding. Yeah, I think so. And I think three things that many people are lacking or don't put enough focus on are being curious about life looking to explore more. And then like you said, I think if we if we skip stuck in routine, life does seem a little boring. It does seem it's not that exciting. So I think we it is important for people to say, how do I try something new? How do I put myself in? Maybe something's not as comfortable or that that I think, Oh, I could never do that. So for my 50th, which isn't yet but in a couple of years, I plan on going on an African Safari. I haven't planned the trip yet. But that's going to be one of my goals. So I love it. And I do think not enough people, I think they think it's like dreaming instead of realizing that life is really to live not to work, right? We work so that we can go do these amazing things and have amazing relationships and rich experiences. So I love that. So tell me, how would you encourage a woman is there something else you might share, to encourage her to try to step out of maybe, you know, we do get stuck in a routine especially in a parent, you work a full time job, you may be felt feel like there's not a lot of time left in your day to really even spend five minutes thinking about what do you want? Or what's your bucket list? Or you know, nine in your bucket list but like how can I prioritize things that should have meaning but maybe I'm not spending time and like spending time with a girlfriend or like you said learning a new skill. So what might you share with people to to even start thinking that way? Okay, awesome. So what I do is every month now I create a paper where I list something I'm gonna try. So this might be a bit too much for someone who's busy, but there's lots of women who have time they just need

A little nudge. So every month, I pick one self care activity. So that could just be going for a walk, if you're not used to it, it could be going to Starbucks could be meeting a friend, I pick one giving activity. So it could be, you know, one month, I bought a gift card and laughed at that Starbucks. And it was that month it was to do something that no one would ever know it was you that did it. Because sometimes we're giving because we want recognition, but I wanted to do something. And it lifted me up for two days, that would take you two minutes, walk in, buy the gift card. If it lights you up, you could even sit there and watch people. So I left the gift card at the counter. And if you were the next person in, they would have sent you someone already paid for that. Yeah, well, who doesn't need that? And I and I spent two days picturing who came and got the gift card? Was it a tired mom with three kids screaming? Was it you know, an old man, it just lit me up. So that's easy. I pick one creative activity. So you could sit down and doodle, you could have a coloring book, if those are easy one first. So it could be wearing like fake eyelashes, it could be taking the bus like anything. And one adventure for that one, I usually push myself. Like, I don't know what I'm going to pick for me. But one thing on my list is 50 kilometers of mountain biking on the trails in one day. Okay, so try new things or like, pick your own list and pick something that resonates with you. Almost I can guarantee almost everybody has something that they want to try figure small, make a list and just even pick one thing, it doesn't have to be huge. It doesn't have to be what I'm picking. But pick one thing and give it a goal. And if you have to start with a self care thing, which means you get a massage this month, you get a pedicure. It's really looking after asked and finding redefining ourselves and and just living more authentic to who we are, and doing fun things instead of always working. Absolutely. So let me ask you, it seems like as we approach our 40s and 50s, maybe even mid 30s, we're busy with possibly work a family, lots of commitments, and we people do start to feel maybe they're stretched too thin. But what can you share about how we might need to look at our own perspective and our beliefs, and changing that perspective and sort of switching things around for ourselves? Yeah, I, I know, mindset is a huge thing. And sometimes we don't even have time to observe our mindset. And society is constantly telling us things and inviting us to be crazy busy. But if you read any of Joe Dispenza, his books, breaking the habit of being yourself is one that really inspired me. And he talks about how so many of our thoughts, it's even up to 80 90% of the thoughts. I think today, I will think tomorrow. So if I think I'm exhausted, I can't do it. I'm over the hill, I'm old, then that's what's gonna happen. But if you start thinking and trying something new, and you think that felt fun, then you start to do more things. So after I did the winter hike, I was like, I can do all sorts of hard things. Now. It's just a matter of changing your mindset. And shut out. Shout out those voices that want to tell you, you're old. And also be careful about who you spend your time with. If that's their mindset, you're it's really going to be hard to lift yourself out. Yeah, actually, I want to make two points on that. The first is I'm reading Dr. Spencer's book right now the same one. And you know, he also talks about if we're trying to improve ourselves or change something in our lives, we our belief and our desires have to align. But what happens with a lot of us right is we say we want something different, like I want to make more income, but then in the back of our mind you whether subconsciously or just internally, we think, Oh, but I can't I can't make that income. So it's not it's not aligned. And so then we wonder why that's not happening for us. And so I think that's a really interesting point, because I think most of us do say one thing, but we're really thinking another and the other thing you brought up that I think is really interesting, and maybe we can talk about for a minute. What happens if people in your life it could be a spouse or significant other it could be friends, but maybe they're not going to encourage you maybe they are

aren't comfortable with change and with excitement and new things, they're kind of like they like their routine. Do you have any encouragement or tips for people on how to handle that situation? Like, how do you go and do what you feel you want to do, even when you have people around you that are aren't encouraging that? Yeah, that's an awesome question. Because it's real life. And you are gonna find there's resistance when you start stepping into your life in a new way, a big way, there's going to be people that you're going to scare and they're not interested. But I'm sure if you take 10 minutes, you will find one person that's interested in hiking, one person that's interested in going to the spa, one person that's interested in biking, whatever your thing is. And the other thing I've done is meetup.com. And you go and you sign up, there are literally groups for every activity. So I had to push myself, it was about five years ago, when I decided I was going to take up mountain biking. So I went away for a weekend with girlfriends, and some of them did it. Then I come back to where I lived. And I searched out and there are beginner women's mountain biking groups. And that's when you really get empowered, because they show up alone, you show up alone, and you form a new group. So there's every there's lots of people out there looking to do what you're doing. And they're alone as well. Yeah, it's so true. And I love that tip. Because I think sometimes we don't really realize we can look beyond our current circle, right of friends and family, but lots of people do. But if you've never done that before, I think that's a great tip, or any other tips for adding more adventure and fun into our lives. Well write the list, practice new things, like if you're gonna drive somewhere, take a different route, Joe Dispenza talks about that. So just even like, if the thought of all of this scares, you just start trying new things in little ways. And then when you do it, if it works with the way you think journal about it, and you will start to

build this new muscle of trying things and realizing how amazing you are. And one thing I like to think is head down heart open. So stop thinking and start doing and feeling experiencing. And if you have to listen to uplifting podcasts, if you have to join an online group, it's just something that gives you accountability to keep trying stuff. And I know one thing that we were going to discuss as well is we don't want to get to the end of our life. And I have regrets. So did you want to talk about that for a minute? Yes, that is huge. That is one thing I want to inspire women that when they look back on their life, they don't have a list of regret, hopefully none, because they've tried things. I read an article the other day about the top five regrets that nurses here in the hospital, that people didn't have the courage to be true to themselves. And I find that so often because we're trying to fit in. But when you stand out, I love you more because I can see your gift, your passion, your whatever I don't want, who wants 10, brown sweaters, nobody, they want orange and pink and purple, or whatever they wish they hadn't worked so much. And that's something I talked about in the course I teach. What is your ideal life look like? And you write it down. And often we're already there, we just need to tweak some things. So are you working 40 hours a week when 30 would do and you still have your dream life or most of it, but you have time now for you.

They wish they had the courage to express their feelings. And that's what I love about my giving activity because it it makes me get into that space of a feeling more. They wish they'd stayed in touch with friends, which when you get around 50 You realize if you haven't done it, it you're missing a huge part of the most important thing in life. And you have time now. So I'm so thankful for my friends, and they wish they'd been happier or let themselves embrace. So who cares what society thinks or says what is good for you and what feels right. Let your light shine. Absolutely. And you're right. They say that people that live the longest lives and happiest lives. Yeah, they've looked at all the indicators, you know, healthy eating all the things, reading things, and it's actually people that have

friendships, meaningful friendships, deep friendships, and they socialize. Right? So yeah, so that's actually one of the biggest indicators. If you live a long life, it doesn't guarantee it. But that's the biggest indicator they found. And I think that's so important because I have, you know, very rich deep friendships with many people, you know, lots of level of friendships. But I do know a lot of people that for a long time in their lives, especially if they're a parent, they do kind of put a lot of friendships on hold. And then like you said, they get to a certain age, and then they realize they don't have even a couple of close friends, because they haven't put the time in. So I think it's, it's underrated. And we do need to have those rich, meaningful relationships. I think that's a great, those are all great points. And I so much agree with all the Regrets of the Dying list. Ask you, you have been a massage therapist for I think you said close to 30 years. And now you've been moving into, you know, building this course in this community of women to inspire them. Can you tell us about that part of the journey, you know how you've decided to step into this new business, or focus in life? Yes, I would love to my dream is to inspire women to live their best life to add fun and adventure. So I created a Facebook group that's private, it's called Living out loud. So every month in there, I post PDF, where you can fill in for yourself, any of those things that we decided or discussed earlier. And you can see what mine are. And then most times, I'll have one activity, it's usually a creative activity that you can pay to join for the evening. So if you lots of times, it's just that we can't think of what to do. So it's an activity, you know, often for 10, or $15, you can join for the evening and try something new. And then other people post sometimes what they're trying or, you know, so it just gives you an idea. So I want people to be able to come together and get ideas. And even if you never speak in my group, or post anything, I just want to inspire you. And then I offer a four week course, called Living out loud. And it talks about mindset and dreams and resistance and things like that. And I invite you over the month to try some new things. And because it's a group of women, people are more motivated and inspired to try it. And that's where the accountability comes in. So yeah, I would love anyone to join living out loud, it's a private group.

And then I also am on Instagram at living out. And then two underscores loud. Okay, cool. So let me ask you, when you decided to move into offering this group and those great activities, which I love, I think that's all so needed. And just really cool. Is there what how did you how did you make that transition from being in the same? doing the same work? And just into taking that leap? Was there fear there? Did you have to overcome sort of like your own limiting beliefs or fear or worry? So what did that look like for you to be willing to do that? Yeah, lots of worry and fear. But I want to live a life without regret. And I felt like I still had so many things inside me to offer like, I love doing massage, I'll probably always do it. But I just feel like I wanted to look in every part of me and see what else I wanted to put out in the world. And I feel like we're all born with amazing gifts. And because people in our lives someone times want us to play small or we don't have courage, then we just let it go by and and we're really doing a disservice in life to others. So you know that the day I created my group, I was full of excitement and fear, like what are people gonna think who am I to do that? But then the bigger picture was like, if I inspired one person 10 People 20 ladies to just live more authentically and try new things. Then who cares what the naysayers are out there saying yeah, and and then I joined a coaching group. You know, that helped

and pushed me along. So sometimes if we're going to do things, joining something help and having that accountability, but there's definitely fear the first time I taught my course I was scared to death. But I have you have to keep your eyes on. Why are you doing this and how

help others. Yeah. And that two things I like to tell people is one, yes, you're even people that are at the highest levels of success as far as that you can see in their life, right? So either monetarily or me. Yeah. And size. Even they say, look, every time before I do this thing I feel nervous for I still question Am I worthy. So those those will go away, they maybe get a little quieter. And we just have to say, I'm going to show up, and at least do take one small action or step each day that maybe feels a little uncomfortable, but it does get easier. And the other thing that I think is, it's kind of like a three part process, right? If you're going to try something new, whether it's for your personal life, or or in a work goal, but it's you have to release something, whether it's talking or it's writing, or it's something that you group you want to start, and then you'll have to have feedback and improve. And then you may have to tweak it or pivot, and then you have to repeat that same process. So knowing that that's just kind of some of the steps. It feels a little more comforting, knowing that I think that everyone has to do this. This is how it works. And so you know, it's like, just like the podcast, I'll release the episode, it doesn't mean I won't tweak it or over time, it will change slightly it will. But I know that so I don't have to worry about it being 100% Perfect. It just has to be it's a work in progress. Right. Just like we are we're always works in Congress. Yeah. Yeah. And if, if we're waiting for we're perfect. That's the life passes us by right. So, I mean, remember, I guess was why what I tried to tell people when you were 15, or 20, or 25, and you were trying downhill skiing for the first time. It wasn't easy back then. Right? You had sore muscles. You know, so when I hear people saying up to 50 Oh, I'm getting old, I'm sore. I'm like, No, you were sore at 20 as well. So, like life, it's like that. We just gotta go for it. Yeah, I love it. We definitely just have to go for it. So last question. Is there are there any other books or resources that you might recommend? You obviously mentioned Dr. Joe Dispenza, his book breaking of being yourself, I believe it's called, are there other books recently you've been reading or resources that you think other people would enjoy? Yeah, one person inspired me while I was making my list is her book is called 100 days without fear. And her name is Michelle Poehler. I think she's Mexican. So she did an experience experiment of doing something that scared her everyday so that I loved finding that right when I was doing my list. I always recommend Oprah. Like if you think you can't try mountain biking. Think of how far she came. Everything was against her. I'm reading that Jay Shetty book. It's something about a monkey. Do you remember what it's called? I don't. Yeah. Jay Shetty. Anyways, it's something about a monk and it that's really good. He talks in there about, like, when you go for a walk, notice something new. That's what they learned. Yes. And Seth Godin, I just read the dip. So sometimes, you know, in life, we're trying new things, and we get in the dip. And he said, the people that make it are the people that are focused, and really want it. Yeah, no, that those are all great recommendations, really good thoughts. They're wonderful. I appreciate your time today, Megan, and sharing your story and all these amazing tips. And I just wanted to say thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for giving me the opportunity. I'm so happy to get my message out there. So thank you. I just loved the conversation today with Megan. And I love the reminder to all of us that life really is about our relationships, our experiences, and to the reminder to keep improving ourselves and to keep growing because that's what keeps us young. That's what keeps our dreams alive. And I would just remind you that you can do hard things. You can do new things. You can find other people to do those things with you, whether it's startup business, or you know, climb a mountain or anything else. So go after your dreams. Let's get started. And thanks again for listening in. And if you enjoyed the show, we'd love it if you'd subscribe, and leave us a review and rating on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. And you can check out freebies and resources we have for you at Kristin fitch.com And if you have ideas for the show, or guests that you'd like to recommend, I'd love to hear from you. So DM me on Instagram at Kristin Fitch or you

You can email me from the website. Thanks so much. Until next time, have a great week.