How to be Bold & Courageous in Living in Life on Purpose with Amy Debrucque

Hi beautiful friends, I am so excited for today's conversation, we are going to talk about how we live a life on purpose. We're going to talk about how we step in to more things and how we can be more courageous in our lives, how we can show up even when it's scary, and really live our best lives. I have a great guest on who's going to talk about all these things, the hard things she's gone through, and the amazing things she's doing now. Welcome to building a life you love. This is your host, Kristen and I cannot wait to get started. We are going to have so many good conversations this year, we are going to talk about stepping into an abundant life and business that God has called us into. For some of us it might just be our lives. For some it might be that we also are being prompted to step into a business or ministry, whatever it might be, because that really gives us a life of freedom, right flexibility around our families, and being able to step into what our true purpose is. So I cannot wait for the season. We're going to have great guests that have great information for you. Hi, today on the show, I would like to welcome Amy Deborah. She is a wife, a mom of four certified life coach, author podcaster and a cancer survivor. She's also the host of life on purpose podcast, where she encourages women to live on purpose instead of fear. Her first book emboldened she co authored or CO wrote with her college age daughter Blair, and it helps women discover the next great steps and actions to conquer their fears and insecurities. And much like myself, Amy also loves entertaining with her family and friends. She's a self proclaimed beach junkie as I am. She's a health nut chocolate lover. She loves cooking and baking and attending her kids sporting events and getting her weekly hit workouts with her friend Alice. I'm so excited for this conversation today. Because Amy and I aligned on so much on how we want to inspire and encourage and uplift women to to really live their best and boldest lives. So welcome, Amy.

Thank you so much. Welcome. I'm so excited to be there, Kristen.

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day to everybody. I know it won't. This won't drop on Valentine's Day. But we're talking about Tennessee. So how fun to have this conversation today.

I know. And it's so funny when you were talking about beach junkie. And I'm thinking when we were talking before you hit record, if I lived in even near the beach like you do, I don't know that I would ever be inside doing my best. Because I love the sound that much. Well, let me just tell

you last week, we were lucky here in Virginia, I'm about 15 or 20 minutes from the beach. And it was gorgeous, almost 70 degree weather last Thursday and Friday. So Thursday, I said to my husband, we're going to eat out on the water on it was the bay, not the ocean on Thursday. So we did we got to sit outside on the water with another couple. And then on Sunday, that's Friday, I was working in the morning and getting some stuff done, I ran an errand and I literally drove down to the beach and seven the beach for two hours and just soaked up the sun. There was amazing. It wasn't even part of my plan. But when you get a 70 degree day in February, and you live near the beach, you are right. If you're someone like me, and you you go, you just drop it as you go. So I like that. So good. So, Amy, why don't you start off before we kind of jump into kind of life on purpose and being really intentional your lives. Start off with telling us a little bit about your backstory, your journey, and then what life look like looks like now for you. Sure. So

I think that, you know, I had more of a typical growing up. I'm the youngest of four siblings. And, you know, I had two tragedies, though, early on, shortly after I had gotten married. I was 26 at the time, and my oldest brother had passed away. And then our firstborn son had passed away. And so those two events really kind of dictated my next 14 and a half years with living and a lot of fear and a lot of anxiety. And so that really is what kind of started my journey of living on purpose. I didn't know it at the time, which is always interesting. You know, when you look back on things, you're like, wow, that's interesting how that happened. And also interesting what we can do with our pain and how we turn that into purpose. And so that really kind of started the process for me. And then when I turned 40, I had a cancer diagnosis. And that was really the pivotal moment for me at that time as if I was going to continue on just living a life full of fear, or if I was going to make a pivot. And so again, it's a it's an intentional decision. It's not an easy one. So I never want to sound flippant, like, you know, it's just like, oh, well once you make that decision, you're just you'll never be fearful again, and, and that's unfortunately just not the case. But there are ways that I described I've heard to, you know, develop that courage and confidence to move forward. And really kind of make that your daily practice and habit, replacing the fear and anxiety that can really overrun your life. And that's what I had been doing for me.

Wow. Yeah, that's it is I mean, everyone obviously goes through their own hardships and struggles and often losses. And it's a lot, you know, and so, you know, and everybody is going to handle it, process it forever, but for different times, and like you said, in so this, this pivot after you know, these many things happen to you? What did that look like? As far as obviously, it wasn't just an aha, and then everything was different. But what small things? Did you start doing differently that started over time to change this intentionality of yours to step into more courage? And, you know, less fear? Yeah.

Well, one of the things that I just love that you said is that they, you know, you step into it, they're small steps. So it wasn't just, it might have looked like one grand gesture of a pivot, but to make it really work, and to stop living in fear continuously is, are those small steps and practices every day. And so initially, for me, it was a, you know, it was about my faith, and where my walk was, at that time. I know, for people, it can be different, but for me, that's where it really stemmed from. And so it was a matter of me surrendering, that surrendering that fear and worry, and being okay with not being in control. And I'm somebody who is a self proclaimed control freak. And I think a lot of women are in general, because we, we are a lot of things to a lot of people. And we are used to managing a lot and, and being in control. And when that outcome is unknown, it creates a lot of fear and anxiety. And I think, but you can only run that way for so long. And I was so exhausted up to that cancer diagnosis, that I welcomed that pivot to surrender, and just say, You know what, God, whatever happens, I'm gonna trust you, because I can't take that burden. And I think what I like to share with women is that there is something really freeing about letting go of the things that we can't control. Because like I said, it is isn't as exhausting process to constantly be on that hamster wheel and trying to just be ahead of that next step and and worry about the what ifs. And so I think that that's really been an integral part of learning how to become intentional is recognizing that piece first, is that where I was at what I was doing, and how I needed to replace those actions with something healthier.

Yeah, that's so good. And, you know, it's so right. I mean, one, like you said, obviously, not all the audience may align, you know, both with both of us in our faith, but obviously, we both align as being a Christian. And so I very much aligned with your story about, you know, continuing to have to sort of lift up, you know, the struggles, the daily frustrations to God in the days that I do that, personally, I find more peace. And I find that I'm a more calm person, as I go through my day. I don't do it every day. I'm sure none of us are perfect, of course. But I mean, it is a constant, having to renew having to keep trying to do that practice. And I know it might be a different practice for someone else. But it is a you get better at these things like whatever your small steps are a small practices. But it's still for me a constant, you know, it's much like whether you pray or you meditate, or some of my yoga, some people do it every day, and they would never miss it, I still find that some days I miss something, or I don't do the same order. And so my day goes a little bit different, but then I can see the difference and go Hold on more of that was good for me, you know, more of that was good for me. And so I think for a lot of us as we see small changes in the right direction. So whether you felt less fearful or less anxiety, you start realizing, you know, more of that as an intentional practice is a good thing. And I want to do more of that.

Right? Well, one thing that I love that you said, and you keep using the word intention, and I think you have to have intention behind it to make that change and to recognize what's working and what's not working, because you're right, sometimes we're totally on it some some weeks. I am so honored, Kristen, and then other weeks, I'm like, What is my problem here? But the reality is when you take that pause, and I think part of the intention for me is taking the pause to identify just what you said like okay, what what was the difference here, and it's typically you can see what the difference is. This is where I'm lacking. This is where I kind of just dropped the ball, and now I can see it I can see it. The way I'm communicating in my, you know, with my parenting with my husband, way I'm running my house, the way I'm running my business, you can see where that is. So I think it's important to take the pause. And I think that's where we struggle as women is that we are so okay with putting our efforts and pouring out to other people and making sure that they're where they're they need to be at, but we rarely take the pause intentionally for ourselves to make those same assessments on. Okay, well, what is best for me right now? And how can I get and feel more of that? That is good,

right? Absolutely. That's so so, so true. So let me ask you this. While we're talking, or we're a little bit ago, sort of about that a lot of us as women, one, we're very busy, and we don't do this pause, like you said, to really assess things, right, what's working, what's not working, maybe what needs change. But then also, these fears, either hold us back or hold us back from doing something or thinking like, well, I couldn't do that. Or maybe I'll upset someone, right? There's all these things going on. So I will tell you, I have a friend who she was she has, I think grown children now. But she's was divorced for many, many, many years. Just found love in her early 50s. got remarried love of her life, and all these women, and she's starting to write a book, and we'll do a podcast, but keep coming to her write in her big community and saying, like, how did you do that? And then she'll say, Well, you know, she'll talk about it. And all of them are being held back by fear to either step look, to look for love or to step into their dreams. And she said, every one of them is like, Oh, well, she'll say, well just go and connect, meet people go. And they're like, oh, no, no, I don't want to leave my house, right? Like they're, in other words, they're not taking any small steps or actions to move towards the thing that maybe they want, but they're not willing to step even take the steps. So I know, you've seen a lot of common fears women have. So what can you tell us about what is going on with a lot of us? And then how can we sort of respond to these fears?

Yeah, well, I think you hit the nail on the head. And I think it's harder the older you get also. So I give your friend tons of credit, the one that did find that relationship, because it's so important, but it is so difficult, especially if you're wired, I always my daughter and I who wrote co wrote the book emboldened, and we'll talk about that later, we're both a little bit more introverted. And so I think there's another thing is, people's personalities, and what they're naturally, what feels scary for one person is going to feel completely different for another person. And I think part of that is we are so afraid to get out of our comfort zone. And that's a big thing that I talk to women about all the time. And I think part of the reason that I have found I've discovered with a woman that I've talked to is, we think that it has to be done a specific way. So what your friend did, other women are immediately intimidated, that aren't wired like that one particular friend. So for them thinking like, Oh, I could never do that. Well. But no one's saying you have to do that. Whatever her approach was worked for her. And I think this is where as adult women, we fall into the same comparison traps, is like teenage girls or young adult women. You know, on social media, we think that there's a one size fits all, even if we're not necessarily like, intentionally thinking that way. That's how it becomes we process it when we see something like that we're like, Well, we I could never do that, well, you might not be able to do that. But I always say when I'm working with women, let's flip that self talk. So you can't do that. But what can you do, and to make that one intentional step outside of your comfort zone. And let's focus on just that one thing, because one thing that you can do is going to look different, and it's still going to make an impact in your life. And then the more you keep doing one additional thing, you look back and you're like, Oh, I can't believe how far I've gotten. But we're just so number one, we're stuck in a comparison. And then that is what really I think disables us and our confidence to make that brave step forward.

Yeah, and actually, one thing that kind of came to me as you were saying that it kind of about the example right of the woman I shared about is this, I think women think about like, gosh, I would like to find someone right, whatever age, but as you said, especially as you get older because you think Well, Well, who am I going to find? But in in while we're I don't think either of us are even in that situation. It's still a common thing. A lot of women, you know, in their 40s 50s and beyond can find themselves. But what's interesting is I think it's because with any of these things, we're thinking about the final thing we want, right in that example, we were talking about someone maybe wanting to find love, but it could be starting a business it could be starting a podcast could be anything. But what's interesting is that instead of thinking of the one small little tiny thing they could do that just gets them out of their comfort zone just a tiny bit like, I'm gonna go to a business professional mixer event because I'm gonna have to get on a conference to talk to some other adults. Right? In other words, we don't have to say, Oh, I have to go out and meet someone, because they're going to become my, my soulmate. So I think someone's maybe we're trying to make the step that we choose first, to be the most important pivotal step that's gonna get us the final thing, instead of saying, How do I just take that baby, that interim step to do something really small? That makes me go, wow, I can actually talk to men and women comfortably. Well, I, I just talked to a couple of men that are our friends. I was comfortable, right. In other words, I think sometimes we really are thinking too far down the road. And that's what gives us this fear instead of trying to do something smaller.

Yeah, you're totally right. We're so focused on the mountain top. Yeah. Oh, man. Right. And her finding the perfect guy was the mountaintop moment, but we forget that those middle moments is where the growth happens is that we have to keep moving to get to the mountaintop. You know what I mean? And like you said, it could be and I always say this, because I am more of an introvert. I'm both but that's more I'm completely homebody, I could be totally fine and content with that. Even though I love connecting with women, I can easily just get stuck in my own way. And what's comfortable, and I think you forget that for somebody that's wired a little bit more like me, even something as basic as signing up to go to a classical why by yourself, that can feel intimidating. But that is a big step. And we we also disqualify ourselves in thinking that that is a big step, because we think like you said, it needs to be the mountain top and you're not going to get there with that mindset, you really need to focus on flipping that to I can't do this, but what can I do, and let's really focus on that whatever that first step is,

it's so true. And actually speaking about I remember the first time I think I was in college, and I was maybe working like at a restaurant down the ocean front in the morning, and I had a break, or I'm sorry, is working lunch, and I had to work dinner. So I had a break. So I had to go get something to eat. And I'm one of five kids, you know, lived in a house of seven people. So I wasn't used to being alone very much, right? There was always people around or friends. And so I remember the first time I went to sit down at a restaurant, eat by myself, and I was pretty young, right college, and I was just a little horrified, right? Like, oh my gosh, like how to eat by yourself. And then I remember over the years, I've been to some conferences on occasion where it wasn't when I knew people. So I was kind of just going I didn't know anyone first I was at the conference. So I just sat at the bar restaurant area, you know, at the bar and ate out a book with me, but I got more comfortable doing it. But even when I went to the beach the other day, I almost didn't go because I thought to myself, well, that's silly. I'm by myself, instead of thinking, oh my gosh, how amazing. I'm by myself. So even now these little things that are rooted in us, right? This somehow in my mind thinking like, oh, well, you go do things with people. So and I have lots of people to do stuff with. So even that somewhere in the back of my mind still almost stopped me from going to the beach on Friday thinking, well, that's silly, like I usually would take off someone else or. And so once again, what you're saying is I think we need to remember just these little things and just trying things that we maybe we haven't done before. Because then you realize like, oh, it's not that uncomfortable. Actually, it's kind of nice on occasion to, you know, go explore a little town and take your own time and meander. And so I just think it's important for us to try just little tiny things, maybe find something you like and just move towards that. Right? Well,

I think, you know, that's a perfect example. And that's so funny, Kristen, because when I was younger, my mom or my sister and I used to jokingly say that we thought our sport was going shopping on Saturday with our mother that was our actual sport. But one of the things that my mom used to do, and when we our us girls weren't around as she would make a day of it. It wasn't necessarily about bringing home a bunch of stuff. It was just about being out and, and she would always go to lunch after whether we were with her or not. And I was always amazed by that I'm thinking and she wouldn't go to a fast food, she would go to like a restaurant and get a salad and whatever. And I was always like, how could you sit there by yourself? But I think, you know, we don't realize how much courage that takes and like you said, once you even showed up to a couple of these events where you didn't know anybody and you're starting at a bar or up to sitting by the at the bar by yourself with your book. Those small steps are what builds big courage. And then and you know, I've done that a million times. You know, you go to some of these events. I had gone to a podcast convention last year and there's always a little bit of that intimidation factor because there's also groups coming in where people have connected they've come in together and you feel like you have that almost like a high school. insecurity, we're like you're the odd man out. But I think the thing is, the more we push through those, and step into those courage spaces, we are, we're leaving ourselves open to more success, because we're going to be couraged for the next thing. And we don't know what that thing is. And it could be in business, it could be brave enough to, you know, whether it's asking for a raise or a promotion, or even just stepping into a new career, or something we're doing in our parenting or something to do in our marriage. Those brave steps really, you know, spread all over your life. And I think those are the things that we forget. Sometimes it's like, well, I would never do that. Well, you forget you, it might not have anything to do with your professional life. But it's definitely could be speaking into your personal life. So don't don't disqualify one brave thing, because you think it might not be speaking into just one part of your life, being courageous and brave is something that really can speak into every area. And one quote that I always say, and I have an all over my website, and it's fear as normal. But courage gets the final say, but we have to be brave enough to take that, you know, courageous step for sure.

Yeah. Well, you know, and just speaking about conferences, and like you said, this could be for something, you have an interest in a hobby, this could be for business. But I've been to several conferences where the next day, right, I show up after dinner the night before, I don't know a single soul, not one. But I have a choice, I can either just sit in the seat by myself and talk to No, not a single soul. Or I can choose to be a little brave to be a little courageous and say, Oh, those people look kind of like they're standing in the corner, too. And I can go over and say hi, because I'm choosing to get the most out of the experience. It doesn't mean I was comfortable in the moment. And yes, I will go up to people. But that took practice, right? It's not because it's my default. I'm like most of us, I want to just go on my phone and hide, you know, but but because I've been working that muscle, I push myself to go and talk to other people. And then what happens is we end up forming a little group of all the solo people of the event and we stick together during the event and bring other people in. That That wouldn't happen if one of us or more wasn't willing to be a little scared or be a little afraid and still do it, like you said. So I would just encourage people and flip it around. Remember how you feel someone else is feeling the same way. So if you're the one that just takes the step to show them a kindness or say something nice to them, they probably felt the same way you're feeling but you feel so much better once you go and do it.

Right? Well, you do I think you know, you have to do brave thing scared sometimes encourage really, incompetence is a decision more than it is a feeling it's deciding that I wanted to be courageous today, I wanted to be brave and in your soul, right. The other thing that I love that you mentioned is that that's the other thing if we could if we take that intentional pause, sometimes when we are approaching these uncomfortable situations that feel outside of our comfort zone is remembering that how many you know probably more than half of the room feels exactly the same way you do, they may not be presenting it the same way you are. Or maybe you know, you've talked to them. And you think that they have it so much more together. But also we make those assumptions about people that I think are doing ourselves and the other people a disservice. Because number one, we're making an assumption, a false assumption, based off of what we think now what we know. And also we're also doing them a disservice. Because maybe that's the person now we're avoiding stepping into, but maybe they're the ones who need it the most. They feel that fellowship and community, and we're just taking ourselves out of it. Because we feel like well, they probably don't need that. Because they seem like they're very confident where they are. Well, you know, you just don't know. And so that's why it's always I love that. Because typically, that's what you do is you connect with one person who's connecting to the next person. And next thing you know, you're not alone. You're you're within a group and you've taken that small, brave step to get there. And that's how you do it.

Absolutely. So good. So let me ask you, are there some I know there's some practical steps that you often talk about, about sort of rooting out fear? Are there some you wanted to share that we haven't talked about yet.

One of the things that I like to coach women when I'm talking to them about getting to the root of fear is really finding taking time to find those common triggers, that keeps you know, surfacing that fear. Normally when you start peeling back the layers, there's normally something common that keeps like this is where my fear keeps getting triggered. What is that? I think it's really important to to figure out what that is before moving forward. Because when we don't, it just keeps resurfacing and it's kind of like a cut that just never fully heals. So I think it's really important to figure out what are those triggers, address it And then start one by one, removing those triggers. If we're in a group of women that aren't necessarily lifting us up, but every time we leave, we feel worse about ourselves, we feel maybe we feel more anxious. Um, you know, when I was in the thick of anxiety, I had to be very, very intentional and careful of the people that I was talking with, not because I didn't love every person, but some people thrive a little bit more negativity, some people lift you up and, you know, speak more life into you. And so if I was with, you know, the first I would leave feeling like, gosh, now I'm worrying about something that I shouldn't even be thinking about. But I think it's really important to pay attention, know your triggers, and then start replacing them for something that is going to trigger you in the opposite and feeling more confident, and brave and and taking the steps we're talking about.

Yeah, that's, that's a really good point. Yeah. And I think that's true. I mean, and I'm not saying that there's one way to do this. I mean, we can just same as you said earlier, pause and start to recognize these patterns. But I've also talked to other people who say, they, you know, if you're writing down, right, when something's coming up for you, then you can go back and see the pattern on paper, right? So there's lots of ways to do that. But the point is, is however, you're going to be able to notice when you were triggered, or when something continued to come back up for you.

Absolutely, absolutely. It's taking the time, though, to do it. Like we're talking with everything else. I think, a lot of times we don't take the time to figure it out. And then next thing, you know, you're constantly in that vicious cycle. And it's like, why am I here? You know, after I'm, you know, leaving this situation, or why am I here, when I'm making this? Decision? Doesn't matter. But if you don't actually figure out what, why you're maybe it's a situation that you're in, maybe it's a family situation. You know, maybe things need to be addressed, I don't know. But until you actually reveal it, you're gonna get stuck there. And you're going to have triggers that are going to come up. Yeah. Well, I

think even control you talked earlier about that. Many women, many of us are used to running so many parts of our lives, that household or kids lives, maybe caring for senior parents, lots of things, right, maybe doing community work, that we are used to controlling at least a schedule, if we're not probably everything else, too. And so it's hard sometimes to think I think then creeps in the perfectionism, right? It all different levels for women. But the reason I brought that up is I think we think even like being a mom, oh, my gosh, I have to have like, a balanced dinner on the table or I have to. But I think we just need to give ourselves a break. Because like our kids are going to survive, like as long as you're feeding them something, there's food available and water and shelter. You're doing a great job, right. And I think, much pressure on ourselves, which goes back a little bit to fear like, Am I good enough? You know, and I think that's important to recognize that that sometimes we can let other people help or that we don't have to have a hot meal on the table. It could be a raw fruit and vegetable and some protein. You know, I think we should be able to pause more and say, you know, I don't have to live up to some ideal, I believe is what is needed?

Well, I It's so funny that you said that one of the things that was I've been talking and trying to really share about more is I think part of that perfectionism is removing that perfectionism. And I think you're right women especially is being out giving our best and being okay with whatever that looks like in a day. Sometimes our best is, you know, yeah, exactly that you put in there, figure out what it is. But sometimes that is our best that day. And that's okay, you know what I mean? Like, obviously, we we want to put it in our best effort. But some days, it's just what it is. And if you have the heart behind it, and the intention behind it, and you know it, you need to be okay with that and let it go. I think a lot of times, that's where we are sticking point is is that we we feel like we're such a disappointment when we can't always get it right. Well, we're never always going to get it right. We're human, we're imperfect beings, just like our kids are imperfect. We have to allow that same grace for us and know that this was my best today. And maybe we say that maybe, you know, maybe part of that. And I do think that it helps communication wise, as just being upfront and honest. You know, we tried to also have an image of where, you know, and I think that's okay, to a point, you know, showing that we have more, you know, going on and maybe our kids they're looking for us, you know for advice and all of that but sometimes it's it's better for them and us to just be on You know what, I had a hard day today, this is the best I can do you know, you know, they're nine times or 10 times out of 10. But number one, appreciate the honesty, and just be like, it's fine. Like you said, they're fine. They're fine. It's our expectations and the lack of grace that we give ourselves.

Yeah, absolutely. So much. So, so true. So let me ask you, I

love that you and your daughter wrote a book together. And I would like to just touch on that for a minute, as far as how did that come about? Because it's obviously a whole book is about this, these themes. But how that come about that you guys got that idea? And then you actually made that happen? Because I think that really speaks to this whole idea of us trying to live this life, right, have more courage and boldness, and stepping into, you know, really creating this life that we, we love and that's on purpose. Right? Well, it's interesting. So my daughter was in her sophomore year, just beginning her sophomore year at college. And she was, you know, just we had a lot of communication with some struggles she was having. And we were both a little naive, thinking that if she went to this, you know, Christian, she was a Christian raised as a Christian going on to a Christian college, Oh, she'll probably escape all of the, you know, the things that, you know, secular schools would be dealing with, which was so foolish on our part, because, you know, like I said, we're all human. And so one of her sticking points, though, was being feeling like she didn't know where she fit in. And for her that looked like, either being too Christian or not Christian enough. Yeah. And it is interesting. And I, and it was, so within these conversations that we had, I felt like, gosh, you know, there really isn't a great resource. And even for her she, what she was finding out there, she's like, I wish there was something that was kind of in between, you know, a Bible study, and then just doing a devotion every day. And we really had a hard time finding that. So we thought, I had already written another manuscript. So it wasn't really on my radar. But I was like, you know, maybe we could create something that would really speak into and at the time, I was like, you know, women your age, as we started Kristin. And this is typically how things go, I realize you were talking about being fearless, we're talking about growth, we're talking about kindness and temptation that was like, okay, these topics really don't age out. And so as we dug deeper in this and really started creating this, I realized it was really important because I, I think a lot of times, we disqualify ourselves for these very reasons, even as adult women, and just like what we're talking about when we show up to these events and feeling like we don't fit in, or where do we fit in. And so we wanted to create something that would really meet women of all ages where they were, but not leave them there and give them the encouragement to take that next brave stop, and what that would look like for them. Oh, it's

so good. And I just love it. Not only did you have the idea from where you know, what your daughter was going through, and like you said, really a lot of us in different ways. But then you then took the steps to kind of say, well, let's see if we can do this. And then you created it, because a lot of what you talked about, and I talk about on our shows, is helping women to step into, you know, what they're made for their purpose in you know, in, in all that's available to them, right, but it takes us being a little bit brave, and it takes us, you know, taking those next steps. So I love that your book is a tangible product, a tangible result of you and your daughter together doing that. And that's just so beautiful. Thank you,

thank you. Well, and I think you know, it is it's it's scary, right? It's scary when you're hitting send it's it's scary when you're, you know, releasing a podcast episode, you don't know how people are going to accept or reject it. And it was scary the same thing to creating this. But I think if you are willing, and I think that you have to have that willingness to be brave, and what that looks like, then you have to be just okay with what the outcome is. And no, and you know, one of the things Kristin, that I try to keep with every everything that I'm doing, whether it's the life on purpose, movement, whether it's the podcast, whether it's my writing, is I have to be okay with if it reaches just one person, one woman, or one man that needs to hear it, that has to be enough for me to keep going. And so one thing about that is it helps you get out of yourself, and really start thinking beyond that. And that's another thing when you stop hyper focusing on yourself and your being you're able to be other centered. That also alleviates a lot of fear and insecurity because you're pouring out to somebody else and you're thinking about them more than you're thinking about yourself. And sometimes we need that.

Oh my gosh, I'm glad you brought that up. It's so true. And there's many times when I share stuff, whether it's on the podcast, or I decide to go on social and share something, and a lot of times I might share static content if it's an podcasts, but sometimes I'll do a video or lives or whatnot. And I remember last year sharing after my son had been home for some months, and he was struggling with some mental health stuff from he was in college and a lot of people are, you know, especially since COVID. So this is a, you know, it's really a I mean, it's beyond epidemic at this point, right, like big loneliness and depression and, and everything people are feeling. But my point is, I went on, and I had a message that I felt like was important to share, even though it was personal. And I don't want to make it too personal. Because it's not just about me, right? So I have to be respectful of my son. But I think it was important for me to share it and had it just been about me, right? Like, oh, well, I don't want to share that right, that's fast, then I wouldn't have shared it. But I felt like a fever pitch have come to the point where there's so much going on in the world with people struggling, that several times I've shared messages like that, because I felt like it might only only one person might watch that video, it didn't matter, right, I just knew that I needed to put it out there. Because that was our ongoing story, right, especially at the time. And so I think you're right, is we do have to keep remembering, why do I want to share this. And if we, if we can help one person, even if it can just encourage them one little bit of encouragement, or inspire them or lift them up? Or you know, it makes them realize that they have value which all of us have value no matter where we're at in our lives or what's going on? And so I think it is it's so important that we do have to keep looking outward, you know, how can we serve people? How can we serve people through our words, through our actions and through our messages? And I think we all have so much impact we already have in our own lives that we're already. We're impacting people around us already, even if we don't realize it.

Right? Well, I think that you're right, I think that we all have something to impact somebody else where it's just a matter of being willing to do it. And and it's also in for me, I think, because I was somebody who kept my anxiety and fear so private. It's for that person who just needs to know that they're not alone. And that you can overcome things. And so even like you sharing whatever your story or are needed to be sad with your son. It's important for people who are listening to say, Okay, well, because those times are really scary and can feel really dark and overwhelming. And it is encouraging just to hear somebody, even if it's not like, Okay, well, now we're whatever, but to hear somebody's story to say, I understand you, I hear what you're saying we've experienced something very similar to that. And this is what we did. And it's been helping. And sometimes that's the all the encouragement, somebody needs to hear that you don't have to necessarily give them the solution. But you can give them the encouragement for them to find the solution. And that's there's, there's nothing like that we have because at

the end of the day, it's that it's people realize that they're not alone in whatever they're going through. Right. And that's, that's important, because a lot of times, let's be honest, especially with the more people go on social media and do all these things. You know, they say the data is there that we feel more alone than ever, the more time you spend on on that, not that I don't go on it at all I do. But you have to be very careful, right? Because unlike an in person relationship, you just are seeing lots of people's highlight reels, right? Or their happy moments, often and not, not their hardships and all their struggles. And so I know sometimes people share that, but so it is we have to be we need to find other stories that will help us through whatever it is we're going through enormous.

Absolutely, absolutely. I totally agree.

So is there any last thing that you want to share with us just about your book, or just messages from your podcast, in your movement, life on purpose with our audience before we start wrapping up?

Well, I mean, you can find me at my website, which is Amy deberg.com. Or I always say if my last name sounds completely daunting, like I'll never remember that. You can go to surrender your fear.com it reroutes to the same thing but there holds my podcast links to that. I have a newsletter at weekly encouragement newsletter I would encourage anyone to sign up for there's free resources every week in that. Plus it gives links to anything else that's going on. There's merchandise on there the book, you can also get the book on Amazon or really anywhere where books are sold. I say Amazon because I think it's the cheapest right now. But there's two sizes to the book. And yeah, I mean, I love connection with people. I'm kind of like you It's interesting world that we are in where we're connecting with people online but I love the people reaching out and so feel free to DM me if you have any questions or anything like that. The coaching is on there as well. But we have things coming up this fall. I've got a retreat that we're in the works of planning for women. It's called the focus retreat for professionals and just refocusing Pretty much what we're talking about today, home, work, family, the whole nine yards and taking that time to do it. You know, we're busy people and sometimes we need to schedule something for ourselves to really regroup and refresh.

So good. Well, Amy, thank you so much for your time today and joining us and talking just about how we can be emboldened in our lives in our relationships. And you know, just how we show up in the world in our purpose. So thank you so much for sharing your time and your tips and information with us.