Are You Truly Available? Finding God’s Balance Between Serving Others & Caring for Yourself

Today's going to be all about are we available to people in our lives, really available.

And we're also going to talk about do we also make time so that we can reset so that we can be refreshed and reset?

Because I think we need to look at both sides of that coin.

So today is all about diving into that.

Hey.

Hey friends.

Welcome back to Faithfield Woman.

This is your host, Kristen, and I'm so glad you've joined me today.

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Right, here we go.

Let's dive in.

So the first thing I want to talk about is how available are we to people in our lives?

And for those of you that have been listening along to the podcast for some time, I have regularly shared quotes and then also just little tidbits from the devotional by Bob Goff called Catching Whimsy.

And his devotional for today, May 9th has really kind of clicked with me again.

So I wanted to share something about it because I think it's, it's important and I think he brings it up because he sees how unavailable people are.

So let me, let me reverse and explain that a little bit.

So most of us may be somewhat available to someone in our lives.

Our, if we're married, maybe our spouse, if we have kids, our children, maybe a relative, a close relative or two, or maybe a close friend or something like that.

But many of us, I think, can close off right?

We can run to safety, run to our homes, we can keep our noses in our devices when we're waiting at the doctor's office or in the checkout line because it's so easy to do that now.

But it begs the question, are we available?

Are we available to the people around us?

Are we available to people that might be interested in working with us or people in our communities?

Maybe they go to our kids, same schools, maybe they're, they're on our kids sports teams, whoever it might be.

And honestly, are we actually available to the people in our lives, like really available?

Are we present?

And I'm shares to Corinthians 5:20 for today's devotional, which is we Are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.

We implore you on Christ's behalf, be reconciled to God.

Bob goes on to explain some different roles that he has right in the world.

But he also says, you know, while he's an ambassador to Uganda, that's a whole other story.

But he explains that he just tries to be available to people and that that's our job, right?

It's our job as Christians to be Christ's ambassadors.

And he says as Christ ambassadors, we need to be available, but we also need a message of safety.

We need to have a reputation for being a safe person.

People can bring their concerns, questions and needs to.

Being a Christian ambassador doesn't mean being the top dog.

That's that role belongs to Jesus instead.

It means that we're available and safe and offer protection.

But he basically, you know, explains that often on Wednesdays he's at Disneyland in California on Tom Sawyer island, and he is available for people to talk to him.

He also, for many books back, puts his cell phone number in the back of his books.

I mean, this is a guy that's written lots of books.

This is a guy that a lot of people know.

And I think to date he's had 2 million, 2 million people call him.

Okay?

So it basically says, his book says, Bob's passion is people.

He'd love to hear from you if you want to email him and then you can also follow him on Instagram.

Here's his cell phone number if you want to give him a call.

Folks, that level of availability is so over the top, right?

Most of us can't imagine that.

But my question, right, my challenge to each of us, including myself, is what would it look like if we made ourselves more available?

Like really present and really available to anyone that needed our help, needed a listening ear, just needed somebody to encourage them for a minute.

What would that look like?

How would that change people's lives around us?

And how would that change our life?

Imagine all the conversations, all the connections that Bob's made, all the people that he's encouraged.

I think sometimes we get so stuck in our day to day lives with our heads down that we forget to look at people that can inspire us, that can make us shift our perspective and say, oh my gosh, like I thought I was available, but what if we really sit on that for a minute and ask ourselves, how available am I when I'm walking to my car, do I put my head down?

Or when I see somebody I sort of know, do I Walk the other way.

When I am waiting in line, do I strike up a conversation with somebody or do I just put my nose in my phone?

When I'm sitting at the dinner table or on the sofa and my spouse or my kid comes in, what am I doing?

And my present is my phone set down.

But I think many of us have defined available as just doing what we need to do, right?

Like, but maybe that's just the tip of the iceberg.

What happens if we try more?

What happens if we tell people we are available?

Call us, reach out, I'll meet you for coffee anytime.

Of course.

Anytime, meaning when you're able, right?

I mean, I'm not saying you can drop everything.

You know, obviously you have a job.

It might have set hours.

You may have to be at different other, you know, events or helping your family.

What I am saying is, how would our life change if we became Christ ambassadors?

If we were available to people?

Like, really available to people?

And why am I talking about this today?

And why should it matter to all of us?

I think it's because when we actually show up for people, like, we show up for them in ways that are holy, right?

In ways that is Christ in us showing up in the world, everything changes.

We feel better, we feel lighter.

The people around us feel so supported, they feel encouraged, they feel seen and heard.

It changes the world, right?

It is a ripple that happens through the world and it may just make those people more open and more available to people in their lives.

And so my first challenge for today is that how can we do one tangible thing or maybe more tangible things to be more available to the people around us?

For instance, I don't share my phone number everywhere online.

And I surely don't say to people, hey, just reach out to me anytime, you know, if you just want encouragement.

Now, I do tell people they can DM me, right?

And things like that.

But could I take it further?

Did I check in with my friends that don't live nearby more often?

Would I be more encouraging to some of the groups that I'm in online?

Would I show up fully present and ready to be Christ ambassador?

Can I show up and actually be available to people and tell them I'm available even when it's uncomfortable, even when I don't know what they're going to ask, even when it might be inconvenient?

Now, Bob might not answer his phone 24 7.

I'm sure he has some boundaries around that, right?

Like he's not going to answer the phone possibly in the Middle of the night.

I do not know the answer to that.

But what I am saying is when he is available to take the call or to return the call, he does it, even though it takes time from his, you know, all the other projects, all the other writing he does, all the other workshops that he's doing, hit from his family time because he sees being available, being an ambassador to Christ as one of the most important things he does.

Ah, I just thought that was such good food for thought.

And I'd love to hear if that.

If you connected with that.

But I do want to shift also to how are we finding time to reset ourselves, to get refreshed ourselves.

And Mother's Day is Sunday.

Today's Friday.

And I just one wanted to say happy Mother's Day to all the moms that are listening.

I hope you have just a beautiful and blessed day, whether you're spending it by yourself, whether you're spending it with maybe a spouse or some friends, or maybe you're able to spend it with your kids if you have children.

But I just wanted to say happy Mother's Day.

And I know for some people, Mother's Day can be a hard and bitter day.

Maybe you've lost a child or maybe you had a miscarriage or so many other things.

Maybe you have a strained relationship with your own mom.

So just know that I'm sending you all the love, and I hope you still can find beauty and grace in this day that we celebrate moms, right?

Because really, let's just celebrate each other, you know, for showing up and.

And loving each other and for being a collective that helps raise up other people and helps other people be seen and heard and.

And celebrate other people, whether it's today or a different day.

Okay, so let's dive in.

I wanted to talk about this today because I find that women, and also especially moms, can really struggle to speak their desires, to speak what they need to allow themselves to rest, to allow themselves time to be refreshed.

But, and I've talked about this on at least one or two episodes before, there's real impact in us not doing that.

There's real consequences.

I just started reading the book by Gabor Mate, or I think it's Mate, or Matt called when the body says no, I believe.

And it's about exploring the stress, stress disease connection.

And he is an MD basically.

I've heard.

I've seen stats from him before, but he says 80% of all autoimmune diseases show up in women.

And the reason is we repress emotions, we repress feelings, we repress our anger, we repress speaking our truth.

And by anger, I obviously don't mean we should go around being like, screaming at people and angry.

Like when we have something or boiling up inside of us, we.

We hold it in.

There's real impact.

And don't get me wrong, men and women both do this.

And a lot of us, it stems from childhood or early experiences or patterns, right?

In relationships we've had in the past where we are trying to find a strategy to cope.

And then we, you know, say everything's fine, or we people, please.

Or we act like we never.

That we're just the most chill people.

We never get upset.

We, you know, nothing bothers us.

What's.

What's happening is we are repressing these things.

And so this is why I'm just talking about this and talking about today.

If we want to show up, being fully present, if we want to show up and be the best ambassadors, right, in our faith, but also in our lives, if we want to do our most creative work, we want to be our most loving selves, we got to start with loving ourselves.

We have to start doing that by starting to get clear on what we need, what we want, what we feel.

Maybe something we've been holding on to that we're afraid to say, right?

We need to speak the words that are stuck in our bodies.

I can tell you years ago, I used to get.

The only time I would get sick, or.

I'm sorry, the only way I would get sick is I would get hoarse.

So I might get a little congested in my, you know, nasal area, sinuses, but I would get horse.

So my throat area.

Well, it turns out often where we get sick in our body is tied to our thoughts or what we're repressing or what we're holding, what we're not speaking, right?

And it turns out that, yes, I have often probably held onto things and not spoke them out loud, right?

Like in the.

It's fine, girl, or whatever you want is fine.

But it was impacting me.

It literally was taking my voice away because I wasn't speaking up for myself.

Do you see what I'm saying?

And so I am going to just talk about how can we.

How can we change this?

So obviously we can't.

We're not going to dig in deep into this today, but I wanted to just give you one strategy to start working on this, okay?

So it.

You can either journal, so just get a piece of paper and then just write down you Know, like, what is it that keeps bubbling to the surface right in my thoughts?

Or what is it that you feel like you're frustrated or angry with someone still, it just keeps coming up for you.

Maybe not every day, but more than you know, it's.

It won't go.

So you have some unforgiveness.

Maybe there's hurt in your life that happened, or you feel unseen, maybe you feel unloved, maybe you've never even admitted that from something when you were young that happened.

Or maybe it was in your marriage, you, you, maybe your husband was verbally hurtful, whatever it might be.

But just write down, like, what is it that you don't say out loud because you're afraid to say it?

Like, what is that?

And write it down.

Now here's the good news.

You do not have to keep this piece of paper because I understand it can be scary to write something down because what if someone saw it?

What if you didn't want someone to see it?

Well, guess what?

You can write it down and then you can rip it up, you can shred it, or you can go burn it, sit around the fire pit and burn that paper.

Do you know how freeing that is like to release those thoughts?

And so that's the first thing I'd say is journal.

Now if you don't want to journal, that's not your thing and you don't want to try that, then you can try doing what's called a mental body scan.

And you can Google that and search for exactly how to do it.

But it's basically a stress relieving technique.

But it also just helps you get.

Listen to your body to get more in touch with your mind and your body.

But you basically, you know, sit in a quiet spot and you close your eyes and then you literally think about, you know, your mind and then your neck, your shoulders, right?

Your arms, your chest, your stomach.

Like, you go down slowly through each part, you know, pause on it and think about what you're feeling.

Do you feel a discomfort somewhere?

Do you feel a tightness in your stomach?

Are thoughts coming to you when you think about, you know, your mind or your stomach?

Maybe it's your, your hands, whatever it might be, maybe it's tightness.

You feel tightness on your shoulders or your back.

Just always, you know, is just really bothering you and you hold on to that and then you allow yourself to see what is it you're thinking, what are you feeling?

Is there discomfort?

Because it'll start pinpointing what's going on with you.

Now, while that might be a little different than writing down thoughts in your head, it will start to let you reconnect your mind and your body together.

And that's the beginning steps.

It's for us to get back in touch with ourselves.

And some of you might be thinking, well, how does this tie into living a life of faith and all of that?

Well, it really does, because if we want to show up and do our best work, if we want to show up as Christians or anyone, we have to be connected with ourselves.

How can we fully invite the Holy Spirit in?

How can we fully help other people if we can't get clear on what we need and make sure that we're.

We're getting.

We're fulfilling those needs, right?

If we don't feel loved or we don't feel heard or we don't feel safe, I mean, anything.

And it can be for minor ways that we don't feel this, or it can be from 30 years ago.

We still feel it deep in our bodies.

If we can't address that, how can we ever help anyone else feel those things?

And so, I mean, maybe we can at the surface level, but if we truly, deeply want to do our best work, I think we have to start doing the work on ourselves.

And so this is really just an introduction into this.

I also wanted to share one little idea with you from someone on Instagram that I follow, Orion Mitchell Brown.

And he's talking about.

He basically had a lot of serious autoimmune diseases when he was younger.

And he went to all the doctors, he did all the things, and he wasn't getting better, and he was really having a lot of mental and physical pain and problems.

But anyway, so he's now healed.

Him, gotten.

He's healed.

And a lot of it had to do with, right, his feelings and his thoughts, right?

And I think maybe faith, too.

But he has kind of like five steps of things to write down and what to do and kind of how to kind of sit with those.

Those ideas.

But I just want to share with one with you today.

He.

He'll write down or say to himself, I nourish my body with love and intention.

And he will.

What he'll do is he'll get a really healthy meal, one really nice meal a day at least.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, one that's just full.

Full of, like, beautiful vegetables and nourishing food.

And he makes sure he's present for that meal, right?

He sits there, he enjoys the meal.

He's not on his phone, that sort of thing.

And he just lets himself know, like, I'm nourishing my body with love and intention.

You can also do that and say, how am I going to nourish my body with love and intention?

Are you going to take a walk outside, really connect and see the beauty in nature?

Are you going to sit outside and just have 10 minutes of quiet to reconnect with yourself, to connect with God?

Like you just.

We need to start saying these things, we need to start making them important and not staying in a state of constant stress or stress response because our bodies can't heal there.

Our bodies aren't.

We're really disconnected from our bodies when we stay in that heightened stress state.

And we want to change that because we do not feel the fruit of the spirit when we stay in that high stress state, because how can we feel more joy and peace, calmness and all these things when we're amped up, going from thing to thing?

We never, we never allow our bodies to reset.

And so it's so important.

And I hope that this Mother's Day, whether you're a mom or not, I hope that you'll take a little time to have 10 minutes of silence, sit quietly and meditate.

And by that I mean, like, just clear your mind of most thoughts and let yourself think of calming, positive things.

Try the body scan or journaling, you know, right before you go to bed, or first thing in the morning, maybe on your lunch break.

Just make this declaration that you are going to start giving yourself a little time every day to reconnect, to reset, to get with God.

And you'll find that your life will start changing because we are not winning awards for doing the most, and we're not going to win awards for being the most stressed out or, or anxious or overbooked.

But we will find accolades when we show up, present.

When we slow down, we really connect with ourselves and we start being the branch to other people, when we start being the ambassadors to other people, when we start being available to other people because we're first available to ourselves, everything is deeper, right?

And we are here to do good, to do, to be kind, to help other people fix things.

And God wants us to show up in community, and the only way we do that is if we're whole and healthy.

And it doesn't mean we're not works in progress.

We surely are, right?

But we start by showing up in community even more when we start showing up for ourselves.

So on that note, I just want to say happy Mother's day.

I hope you have a beautiful day and I will be back with you next week.

I did want to let you know if today's episode connected with you in some way.

I wanted to share that I am looking to talk to women who want to feel better in their days.

They want to feel more energized, they want to feel good, they want to feel reconnected with theirselves.

I am starting to do 15 to 20 minute calls and I really just want to understand are you somebody that wants more energy?

Do you feel like there's some of your habits that are just draining you?

You want to feel more like yourself again?

You want to feel more rested?

Maybe you just feel like you have brain fog or that you just feel worn down?

Well, I am working on a wellness reset and so if this interests you, check out my show notes.

There's a link to schedule a quick zoom call with me.

I really just want to find out from you firsthand what are your biggest challenges right now?

What have you tried?

What isn't working?

And what would it mean if you could shift your life in a way that you felt better, you felt energized, you felt ready to take on whatever's next for you, your next season.

So if that's of interest to you, click on the calendar link in my show notes.

Also, if you haven't already, head over to my website and grab my Reignite youe Passion Workbook because it really helps you start tapping into what is it you want?

What do you dream of?

What did you used to enjoy doing that maybe you've put on pause?

But if that's of interest to you, head over to KristenFitch.com, go to my Freebies page and grab the Reignite youe Passion Workbook.

Thanks again for listening to the show and if you enjoyed today's episode, we would love it if you could take a minute to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcast because it's helps our show get discovered by more people.