Healing After Hardship: Embracing Grace, Rest & Community in Difficult Seasons

Hey.

Hey, beautiful friends.

Welcome to Faith Fueled Woman.

This is your host, Kristen.

Today is a mini episode and if I'm going to be honest, February has been quite a trying month already and we're only 12 days in.

So we are just going to talk about how can we give ourselves grace and space and rest when we're walking through changing in our lives.

Whether it's that we're walking through loss, maybe we're walking through illness, we might be walking through exhaustion, maybe we're walking through a lack of clarity, or maybe there's someone or a relationship or something on our heart that's unresolved.

And so that's what we're going to dig into today.

Welcome to Faith Fueled Woman, a podcast designed for Christian women eager to deepen their faith and shine God's light in.

Every aspect of their lives.

Each week we'll delve into practical strategies, inspiring stories and biblical wisdom to equip you with the tools you need to navigate life's challenges and grow deeper in your faith.

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Hi, I'm your host, Kristen.

I'm an encourager, a faith led entrepreneur, a mom and a wife.

Let's be encouraged in our everyday lives as we let our faith guide us.

Through, fuel us, and fill us with.

God's incredible peace, wisdom and joy in our lives.

Okay, so a little bit of background.

The end of January for me was both.

It was bittersweet.

I had a trip that we've been planning for over six months with friends planned to the British Virgin Islands.

And I think, I don't think anyone in the group that was going with me had been to those specific islands before.

So we were excited about that.

But at the same time, my dad's health had really declined.

He has had Parkinson's for some years and recently his dementia had gotten worse.

So I went into that trip knowing that he had taken a turn and we didn't know how much longer he had here with us on Earth.

And so while I, everyone said, you know, still go on the trip.

And it was wonderful and beautiful.

There was still, you know, his life and what was going to happen and how soon kind of hanging on to me.

And so that is how the end of January was, had started for me.

And it was actually my birthday as well.

And so as we went into February, he ended up, my dad ended up passing February 3rd and he was at home.

And so he did, you know, he had family around and it was peaceful.

But he had really just declined and was not living.

It was just very hard to watch.

Right.

He had just continued to get worse and worse, both physically and mentally.

That's how February started off.

And it's of course heartbreaking and sad and of course we're all still processing his loss.

And then I, as I had gotten back from my trip and my dad passed, since I got back from my trip, I've just not felt 100%.

And yes, there's the loss going on, but I just had a dull headache, you know, and just some other just under the radar type of things going on.

And so I don't know if I pick something up or what.

But then yesterday I ended up having, you know, a scratchy throat.

It's a, it's still scratchy today, although it doesn't feel as bad.

So I'm battling something there.

And unfortunately on this Monday, my sister in law's mother passed.

She had been battling some pretty major health issues and a good friend of ours in the neighborhood unexpectedly passed.

So unfortunately, sometimes when we experience loss or an illness or something in our lives, it seems like everything hits at once.

Oh, and I forgot also having a problem with our plumbing.

We've rarely had any major plumbing issues, you know, maybe something minor.

But until we get it fully resolved, we are going, we are having to make adjustments, right?

Like not showering very long and things like that.

And so my husband's waiting for a, another tool to come in another day or so so that he can try to address this fully.

And of course, if that doesn't work, we'll call a plumber.

But my point is, is it kind of when it rains, it pours, right?

And actually it has been raining the last two days here.

So February's really kind of had a punch, right?

It's, it's been both emotional, physically, not feeling 100% myself, you know, having to navigate different habits at the house because of the plumbing, just kind of being on the fritz.

And so it's a lot.

And so why do I share all that with you?

Well, for a couple reasons.

One is we all living a life where things happen to us.

We get sick or our loved ones get sick, we are going to experience loss, right?

There's going to be times and seasons where experience sadly more loss in our lives.

You know, and I'm at that point in life where, you know, our parents are older, so whether it's health challenges or whether they are getting or are closer to their end of life, you know, a Lot of people might be struggling in their relationships or maybe struggling with their adult children or children relationships, whatever it might be.

So I think if we don't share these things, then we can all feel like, is this just me, right?

Is it just me that's kind of has things piled on top of the next thing?

And it's not.

We are all going through things.

And, you know, God never said, like, everything will be merry and rosy and they'll never be heartache or sadness or struggle.

What he did say is if we look to him, if we go to him, we keep getting renewal from him and his word, then we'll be able to weather the storm, weather the things we're walking through.

And first of all, I find that that's so true.

Secondly, it's.

Where is the beauty?

Where is the can we see the upside, even in the hard things?

And while I'm not saying that, losing somebody, you know, I understand that's a long process.

You know, we don't just get over that.

We don't just get through the grief in days.

That's a lifelong thing.

Right.

And there's definitely going to be seasons and stages of that.

What I, what I am trying to focus on is the beauty that I'm seeing through that.

The people coming together, the love, the support, the goodness that we can show up and share with each other.

And so when we focus our eyes on those things, makes the things we're walking through, it makes it easier.

Right?

It doesn't mean there's not going to be hard moments or tears.

But what it means is if we're looking at everything, if we're looking at, like, how can I show up for the people I love that also lost, you know, my dad, if I look at how people are there to support me or my family, if I look at, you know, same with our friend that we just lost this week, like, how are we coming together?

How are we remembering him?

What can we do for his family, you know, and our friends?

And so it's in all of that and seeing kind of being able to pull back a little bit and seeing the goodness in people.

I think that that helps so much.

And so today I really want to talk about so many of us get caught up in the grind of life, the busyness of life, that we may not let ourselves rest or recover or be renewed.

And so whether it's because you don't feel well, whether you're going through a loss or a hardship, or whether you are fighting something that you haven't even shared yet with other people.

You know, maybe you're walking it alone.

The question is, how do we give ourselves more grace to get through these different phases and these different feelings, these different emotions?

How do we do that?

And how do we give ourselves a little more time and space and then, yes, rest.

Because today, other than recording this, I'm not going to get much done.

And to be honest with you, I really didn't get much of anything done last week or, or beginning of this week.

And I have to be okay with that.

I have to say that is okay.

Because, you know, of course I've had loss.

That's enough of a reason right there.

Then also, I haven't felt 100%.

And so I have to listen to my body.

I have to listen to how I'm feeling, and I have to make space if I need that space.

And I think a lot of us just don't do that.

So I wanted to share with you an excerpt from the book how's yous Soul?

By Judah Smith.

And he's talking about rest.

But it's really that so many of us, we.

We don't take the time to rest or we don't maybe feel like we deserve it.

And so let's see what I want to share here.

Okay.

It says, God wants to remind us how imperative rest and enjoyment are for our souls.

So the first description we get of the garden is that the foliage is fun to look at and the food tastes amazing.

Why is rest first?

Rest is first.

Because God is first.

A restless soul is a soul that thinks it is in control and needs to take care of everything.

If we do not rest, we are trying to be our own God.

We have to remember that even when we rest, God does not.

When we sleep, God does not.

When we cease working, God does not.

And then he goes on later to say, it's amazing how big of a deal we become in our own mind.

Sometimes it leads to so much anxiety and fear.

Do you know where worry comes from?

From thinking we are in control through rest is unattainable for people who are obsessed with leading their own lives.

But rest is one of the primary postures of those who know Jesus.

Because we have a God who is in control and who is taking care of us, he says.

Psalm 127:1 2 describes how useless it is to overburden ourselves with the cares and concerns of life.

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.

It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil.

For he gives to us his beloved sleep.

And then I'll just share this last little bit.

He says this is so applicable to.

Applicable to modern culture.

He is saying it's pointless for you to work late into the night, to skip sleep, to wake up early in the morning and start working again as if you were in control and you were the only provider and protector for your life.

Where is the margin in that?

Where's the rest?

Where are the awareness and acknowledgment of your creator and your designer who is sovereign over life's unpredictability?

The songwriter says you can't even enjoy the bread in your mouth because you are so worried you won't have enough money to buy another loaf tomorrow.

He might as well be talking about those meal replacement bars.

Some people can never enjoy a good meal with good friends because they're so important and so busy.

Somehow I don't think that's what God had in mind for the human soul when he created the Garden of Eden.

But actually, he says one other thing I want to share.

Okay.

He says one of the most spiritual things you can do today might be to cancel your fast paced, anxious preparation for your big meeting tomorrow.

Make a new friend or look up some old friends and go somewhere or get some good food.

Take time to laugh about life and consider the goodness of God.

Maybe you're worried or feel fearful about something and you think, I need to fast and pray might be a great thing to do.

There is a time and place for that.

But sometimes even spiritual activity can be a subconscious attempt to make things happen.

Sometimes the best option is to share a meal with a friend who's gone through something similar.

Let him or her process with you, cry with you, laugh with you.

Don't get too overwhelmed.

Lean into God and trust that he really is looking out for you.

And I just want to share with you, as I have been walking through the things I already shared with you in the last two weeks, what things I've added in that have really helped.

Of course, one of them is spending time with my stepmom, my.

My dad's wife, who's.

They were married for 28 years.

And we, you know, we were over there quite a lot, especially in the last month and a half because she was just needing more help caring for my dad.

So we were there quite a lot, which actually ended up being quite a gift and a blessing because we didn't know right he had such a limited time left.

But then since he passed, of course spending time over there and just being together, you know, and sometimes sharing memories, sometimes having tears.

And then Monday actually went out to lunch with my sister, one of my nieces and my stepmom, because my birthday and my niece's birthday were the very end of the month last month.

And so this was the first chance we've gotten to go to lunch.

I had promised my niece to take her to lunch and shopping for Christmas and her birthday.

That was her gift.

And so, you know, that was nice to get out.

I think my stepmom likely hadn't been really out of the house yet for the most part you know, to do something that was somewhat enjoyable and then going and being with a friend or a couple friends when we heard about the passing of our friend, you know, and just being together, supporting each each other, trying to process as much as you can when something happens like that, right then it's.

It's going to be a long process, right, of understanding.

And you may not understand it, accepting it, allowing yourself to go through those stages of grief.

But it's in all the times that I just said I'm going to go show up for someone or I'm going to be there for someone, they're going to be there for me.

It's the coming together much like I said, it does not have to be sharing a meal, it can be sitting with someone, it can be going and just having time alone sometimes so that you can allow yourself to feel feelings.

But I think what I've found this week is that I just needed to listen to my body and if.

And I still did things because before yesterday when I had the scratchy throat, I didn't have any major symptoms.

It was just, like I said, very under the radar, off and on kind of things.

And so I was still trying to do things and see friends or go do something with them.

And for me that allowed me to balance all of the loss and thinking about everything we need to do for that with a passing and still seeing people that I hadn't seen possibly, you know, in a couple weeks.

And everyone's different and everyone processes going through sickness, whether it's short lived, right, like cold or the flu, or whether it's a longer illness.

And then everybody processes grief at different times, stages and in different ways.

And that's okay.

There is not right one right way, there's not one right time frame.

And so I really just come on today to say to you, no matter what you're going through one.

Find community.

Find someone, right?

A friend, maybe a family member.

It could be someone at your church, your pastor.

Pastor.

Find someone to come alongside you to be support for you.

You know, journal, maybe.

Journal, feelings.

Journal what you're.

What's upsetting you or how you're feeling about it.

Don't forget to just share happy memories, right, Of a person or maybe something on the horizon you're looking forward to.

Because having hope, right, for the future, having something to look forward to is so important in our lives.

Whether we're walking through loss, whether we're going through some sort of illness, or whether we're going through some big change in our lives or hardship.

Knowing that in the future, whether we know when it will be or what it will be, knowing that there's something on the horizon that we're looking towards is so helpful.

And of course, at the end of the day, it's continuing to go to the well, right?

To keep going back to Christ of His Word and renewing ourselves.

One of the many books or devotional type things I'm reading right now is the well Watered Woman by Gretchen Saffles.

And I've just started it, I think two days ago.

But she's talking about, right, Going to the well to continue to be renewed each day.

Because we will have weariness after each day as humans, right?

Some days it's more than others, and some days it feels like it's more than we can handle.

That's why each day we go back to God's word.

We go back to get renewed with God's word, with what he promises us and what he shares with us, right?

So we can't do it any of this on our own.

If we go to him, we will feel renewed in some way, right?

We will have a spirit ready for the next day.

Even if we still feel weary, it'll lessen that weariness.

It'll let us spend the next day the person we want to be.

To be honest with you, on Monday, when we.

I heard about two people passing, one of which was our friend in the neighborhood.

And I had gone to be with a friend.

But that evening we had already planned to do dinner and game night with our grown sons who, I mean, they still live at home, but they're all adults now and one of their girlfriends.

But as I was making dinner, I was really.

I got really irritated.

Bummers.

Not angry, but I don't really know what emotion to say.

And so I guess I was.

I probably got a little snippy, you Know, and it wasn't because, I mean, it might have been because of my family, like they weren't downstairs yet kind of thing.

Really.

I think it was just the not knowing how to feel or process another loss in a week.

And so by the time we played games, you know, I had felt more calm and centered, but it was just, you know, a pop up feeling of confusion, being upset, and then maybe transferring some of those feelings onto the situation right where I'm rushing around trying to make dinner and no one's coming on time or no one's really helping, which is probably not that uncommon.

But the point is, I didn't have the bandwidth or the patience to deal with that because of what was going on around me.

By the next morning, I, of course, you know, got back in the word.

I did devotionals I wrote in my prayer journal.

And I was able to show up in that day and feel somewhat calm and centered and not like I was going to bite someone's head off.

And so you see, it's, we can do that at any moment throughout our day.

We can just take a break or say, you know what, I need to go in the other room, I need a minute, I need to walk out back and just say a little prayer, you know, just ask God to kind of help us or feel the feeling, whatever it is, let out the tears, you know, and then show back up, you know, into that, that evening.

And that probably would have been the smarter thing for me to do, but in that moment I didn't.

I was trying to finish getting dinner ready, but the next day I felt much more grounded.

And then also remember, sometimes things going on in our heart or our soul, our mind, can impact our health, right?

In other words, when we have emotions, feelings, we're holding onto something that we haven't processed yet, or maybe we can be things like unforgiveness.

It can be so many things.

In this case, for me, it was loss.

Those can make us more likely to get sick.

Of course, I also traveled to a different part of the world and so of course I also could have been exposed to other things.

But my point is, is we need to feel the feelings.

We need to feel the emotions and we need to have healthy ways to release them so that we don't hold on to things that can, over time, make us unwell.

So I come on today just to say, are you getting the rest you need?

Are you allowing yourself time for renewal by getting in God's word?

Are you finding time for community and connection instead of always Putting maybe things like work or even caring for our families.

And of course that is so important, right?

I mean, that is important.

So important of work, but none of it do we want to do the detriment of being a whole person, right?

So we need to have people that we trust that we can rely on, that we confidants.

And so that could be a spouse, but that could also be.

And.

Or be friend or friends, or it could be a family member.

But we need people to come around us in hard times.

We need people to come around us in good times.

I think we should not underestimate the power of friendship, underestimate the power of love and supporting each other.

And we should not pause it for another season when we're less busy, because we choose how we spend our days, we choose how we spend our time.

And I'm not saying that that means, okay, yeah, I'm free all the time.

And I, because I have a job, you know, most people have work, right?

They have set hours.

When you get out of that work, how are you prioritizing people?

How are you prioritizing loving on people but letting other people love on you?

And so that's it.

Today, I just want to remind you, keep seeking God.

Keep looking for the good and the love people are showing up and sharing with you in your own life.

Keep even in the midst of hard seasons or loss, being a person for other people when you're able.

Right?

Because so many times we find what we need in community, even in grief or loss.

We can't go through things in isolation because we will continue to stay in those places for longer.

Right?

It's.

It's how we lift each other up and it's how we walk through life together, right?

How we share our burdens, not just with God, but with each other, you know, and it doesn't mean someone else is going to feel what we feel.

Exactly.

Right?

When it's our.

Our loved one.

But they can understand, especially if they've been through loss, they can be there for us.

Whether they just hold your hand or whether they give you a hug, whether they bring you food, whether they just show up to say, you know what, let's go on a walk, let's get out of the house.

So just keep showing up for each other and know that you are so loved by God.

And if you're fortunate enough to have people around you, that is such a blessing.

And so I just want us to all remember that and to also lean on each other.

So I just wrap up saying, don't forget to find the rest you need.

Do not feel bad.

Do not feel guilty about it.

We were literally designed to rest every night.

We were designed to rest every weekend, right?

The Sabbath, to not work, to not fail, to not use.

So many things.

Just chores, chores, chores.

We were meant to have rest and we are meant to find delight.

Even if you're going through hard things, delight can just be getting in God's beautiful, you know, in nature it can be enjoying a hobby or something, you know, even having conversation with a friend, right?

So delight just means we're taking time, slow down.

So I just encourage each of you, no matter what you're walking through, make time for rest, make time for other people, and of course, make time.

Thanks again for listening to the show and if you enjoyed today's episode, we.

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