Why Your Small Acts of Kindness Matter More Than You Think

Hey, friends, and welcome back to Faith Fueled Living.

This is your host, Kristen.

Today we are talking about being givers.

We're talking about stepping into the world and showing up with acts of kindness, acts of love.

And we're also going to talk about how can we pour into the people around us and in our communities.

In other words, how can we use our time, treasure, and talent to enrich the world and to enrich our own lives?

Because we're giving.

So I can't wait to share this episode with you.

It is a heartfelt episode.

It has so many good examples for you, and I think it'll leave you inspired to do more and to connect with more people as you step through your day.

Hi.

Today on the podcast, I want to welcome our guest.

Mark Matzenbacher is joining me, and he's a retired grocery industry executive.

He's also the author of Searching for Father.

He's a husband, father, and grandfather.

And today we're going to talk about the message or the message he wants to share to encourage us to.

To give, to love, to uplift and invest in others every day.

And I'm just excited because these are definitely things on my heart as well, and of course, the heart of God.

And I'm just excited because I hope this conversation will just remind us when we're present and when we are intentional with how we're living.

We get such a gift to be part of other people's stories, to be part of the giving economy, which we'll talk about today.

So I want to welcome Mark to the show.

Mark, welcome.

And thank you so much for joining us today.

Oh, thank you very much.

I'm honored to be a part of the legacy you're building through what you do.

So, yeah, I, you know, I, I think a couple things I want to share right up front is I lost both my parents when I was 8 years old in a tragic car accident.

And, and that was a bit of a struggle for me for quite a few years, to be honest.

Five kids in my family.

I have brother 10 years older, brother eight years older, brother five years older.

And have a little sister, well, at that time, she was little, who was five years younger than me.

So it, it affected all of us in, in different ways.

But my mother's mother came to raise me.

I didn't have a grandfather.

He had passed away.

My.

My dad's mother was still alive, but I didn't have a grandfather there.

And so while my grandmother was the most special thing I've ever encountered in life, no, no, Doubt about it.

And I. I've been married to the same woman for 45 years, but grandma trumps her a little bit.

That may change as I get older now.

So my grandma had a huge impact on me.

But.

I began to search almost immediately for a dad.

There's a place in all of us that our parents hold that can't be replaced by anything else, to be quite honest.

Tony Dungy, there's a quote in my book from him.

He says, fatherlessness is a silent epidemic.

It doesn't just leave children without a dad, it leaves them without part of themselves.

And so in my own way, I was trying to discern.

Right.

And I know Psalm 68, 5 says, A father.

God is a father to the fatherless.

A defender of widows is God in His holy dwelling.

And I, I came to realize around that God's holiness is not just about purity.

It's about relational justice.

His care for the fatherless is a reflection of his divine character.

So God's identity as a father to the fatherless is just not metaphorical.

I think it's deeply personal.

He acts and he invites his people to do the same.

And whether that's through advocacy, provision, or presence, we're called to embody his love for those who feel abandoned or alone.

And so the epiphany really happened for me at a special moment before I started writing the book was my study in Genesis.

And I came to this realization that God works for six days to build the world and the universe.

And he does all that for one purpose, to give us everything we need.

Because then he comes along and he makes humanity.

He makes us in his likeness and image.

And so we have this marvelous thing that God does where he creates not just this world, but the universe to provide everything for us.

Right?

So the vegetation of the world doesn't eat the produce and vegetables that it produces.

Right?

The snow and the rivers and the waters don't drink from their own source.

Right.

Even fragrant flowers don't consume all their.

Their smell.

The light from the sun and the moon helps us see.

Right?

It's, it's, it's all, it's all that.

So I think it's an empirical lesson that everybody needs to learn that as we walk through this life giving is the chief enterprise.

That's what God does.

He gives.

And, and we would do well then to emulate that in our daily life and habits, right?

And I Believe God has empowered us to be a blessing to everybody as we walk through the life, this life.

So, and then, then you have Jesus show up.

He doesn't just show up.

He's definitely a plan to be here.

But he says in John 3:16, for God so loved that he gave.

So love is the, the pinnacle of God, and giving is the action of that love, right?

And so I, I was overwhelmed by this epiphany that I had, right?

But.

But I do believe that it's very, very important.

You know, Jesus even says in Matthew 7:12, Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them.

And so he calls us to be a giver.

He calls us to, To.

To generously do that.

Now, the point of all of this that I want to share with you is we as human beings, we get a choice.

Everything else in the universe, in the world, doesn't get to choose, right?

The sun can't come up tomorrow and say, you know, I'm so burned out.

I'm being hot.

I'm going to chill.

That's not happening, right?

And you can't plant an apple tree, and it can't produce pears or peaches or plums.

It only does what it's supposed to do.

But God gives us this.

This beautiful thing of choice, right?

And so we don't just live on the earth, we live with it, in it, and through it.

And I think that the key concept that is so overwhelming, I think is interdependence, then, is not optional.

Our task is not to master nature, but to learn to live and labor in harmony with generosity.

The earth doesn't give to us because we deserve it.

It gives to us because giving is what the universe does.

So, so I.

And so I. I think it's very important that we consider the fact that.

Because God's in control, and that's a premise that I am deeply embedded to, there's no chance, there's no luck.

There's no.

Nothing happens in my life that's not God ordained.

He's.

He's a part of it.

He's in it.

So there'll be reasons that we meet people in life.

I'm.

I'm.

This is absolutely true.

And they, they.

You either need them to change your life or God gives you the opportunity to change their life.

But it is in this, fostering the giving, the giving, the.

The process of providing that.

And I believe that goodness and richness is not made by what we possess, is by what we give.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Thank you for sharing that.

And it's, it's so true.

And you know, I think also the older I've gotten, I just.

The lessons that you shared have just become so much clearer.

For instance, my dad, you know, I was lucky to have him until he was 82.

So he passed away this past February.

He had Parkinson's.

So the last couple months had gotten, you know, it was hard to watch because of just how much he deteriorated mentally and physically.

But I remember being over there before he was as bad as he was near the end and thinking to myself, you know, this is what it's about.

It's about the moments that you choose to go and spend time.

And I don't mean only those moments, but my point is, is like it is in the moments of putting people first over what you could have gotten done that day or over.

And another example, and this isn't about giving out in the world, which of course I do those things.

We'll talk about that.

I mean, just our desire to go help, you know, lots of people, not just like an individual person, but one of my, I have three sons, college age or early 20s.

And one of my sons, when he was in college, he came home mid semester because he was struggling with depression and, you know, other, other issues like that.

And I remember having done a post or something about the most important thing I might have done today is make him peanut butter toast.

In other words, he didn't want me to talk to him and ask him 50 questions that day.

What he needed is me to just show up in what he likes most and what he e eats.

Not saying it's I make dinner all the time, but he chooses to have peanut butter toast.

But for him, that is an act of love.

And so my point is, is it's showing up in the moments my son is old enough to make his own peanut butter toast.

Right?

The point is, is I'm doing it because I'm trying to say, without saying it, I love you, right?

I am here for you.

I am here to support you.

But it's in these moments.

And we're going to talk about that, right?

It's in lifting people up.

It's in giving them a word of encouragement, spending time with them.

So of course it can be investing.

You know, you talk about, sorry, giving of time, energy and emotions.

Another pastor author that I enjoy says, right, like we need to invest our time, talent and treasures in the world.

So however you want to see it, it's doing that around us, right?

The people around us, whether it's somebody we just met an encounter or whether it's someone that could be or is in our life.

And so it's, it's so important.

And I think a lot of people, we get too busy with our to do list and checking a box off and, you know, not saying we don't need to work and have careers.

But my point is it doesn't come down to those things.

Right?

At the end of the day, those are not the things that create legacy and create, you know, the, the continuum of love, you know.

And so obviously we're going to talk about this more today, but so I absolutely agree with you.

And like I said, the older I've gotten, the more I've just been able to realize this in this moment.

And how I'm showing up is the most important thing I do in my day.

Right.

It's the moments and it's how I choose to interact the things I choose to do out of love for other people around me.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

There's just, there's so much to think about being part of the kingdom of God.

Right.

Because Jesus is, is.

He's very emphatic about certain things, but he'll tell you, greatest in the kingdom is servant of all.

And then he goes on to say, number one in the kingdom is slave of all.

Well, let me just tell you, servants and slaves, they're givers.

They don't get, they don't get to take back any.

If you're a slave, you don't get anything back for what you do.

You just give.

You just give.

You just give.

And that's, you know, I mean, that was.

What was such a blessing about Christ, was he constantly was looking for the opportunity to give.

And that, that's, I think that's the profound thing about.

So another quote I have in my book is from Winston Churchill.

And he says, you know, to each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they're figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do an incredibly special thing unique to them and fitted to their talents.

What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for what could have been their finest hour.

And so this book has 26 men in it, one I still meet with.

He's just a blessing.

He's.

He's still working.

He is in his late 80s.

He's a role model to me.

He's the consummate everything.

I, I just have the utmost respect.

But, but God has given me all of those people for a special moment.

And I Got to enjoy them.

That's.

This is the thing.

In their finest hour.

I mean, there's, there's no way I can tell you other than how, how good is God that this man walked into my life and has done for me or given me or shared with me, carried me or affirmed me, but pursued me for no other reason than God?

Yeah, that's.

Yeah, I know in your book, and I can't remember if you wrote this or you were quoting somebody.

I, I normally note that, but I, I didn't.

So maybe it was you, but you had said, look beyond your needs and see the opportunities to give and invest in others as they enter your life.

Right.

And so like you said in the story, you're.

You're sharing all these examples of men that touched your life.

Right?

So we're talking about.

I think you share about your brother.

There's real uncles, family friend, uncles, there's neighbors, there's coaches.

I mean, there's many people, mentors, I think pastors.

But the point is that.

So what would you share with us to encourage us in our own lives to be these people in other people's lives?

So I came up with.

So I did training and development for quite a few years.

I taught college for about 11 years part time.

But I kind of came up with this.

It's a motto of mine.

Right.

But do for others what no one else is willing to do.

I found, and this was my grandmother.

She was grandma to everybody.

I could bring home 10 guys from school in high school, and the first thing she'd say, well, what would you boys like to eat?

You know, and they, Everybody loved to come to my house because my grandma said, well, let me take care of you.

And that's just who she was.

But, but I, it's that, it's that whole premise that if we walk through life thinking about, intentionally thinking now, right, about God, what do you have planned for me today and where can I make a difference?

Right, because that's the difference.

And when you can do for others what no one else is willing to do, you own them because they can't find you.

And I, and I found early in my life that in work especially, I didn't often have to do anything but listen.

I worked with many women and I can just tell you this is not a sexist comment at all.

Many women wanted somebody to listen to them because they come home and their wife, their spouse didn't listen to them.

Their kids didn't listen to them, their neighbors didn't listen to.

No, you Know, nobody had time, right?

And I came to a conclusion, and this was back in really the 90s, right, that the more high tech the world becomes, the more high touch it needs.

You need people.

I don't care.

I don't care what we do with technology.

I don't care how many things we make that can reduplicate who we are.

We still need to be in contact with people.

And so that, that is the piece of giving.

And I'm a huge believer in habits.

You know, life is all about habits.

And so, and that's simply because we are what we repeatedly do.

So excellence or greatness in life is not an act, it's a habit.

Right?

Christ continually walked away from the disciples and everybody to go be with the Father.

That was his habit.

I'm just telling you, that was his habit.

He stayed connected and then he was able to resolutely set his fate towards Jerusalem and never, you know, he never walks away from that.

He is totally focused at that point in time.

But that's because his habit was to spend time with his father.

And his father carried him all the way through to the end.

So, yeah, I mean, you know, I think this is the thing.

I think.

Every day, if we are intentional, it's to notice.

First of all, I think we have to pay attention.

We have to notice.

We have to listen to that divine prompting.

And so in some ways it's going to be talking to your neighbor and like you said, and noticing a need.

And it might not be a big need, they might not even said it totally verbally, but it's something that you're like, what?

They seemed a little bit down today.

And then you have that feeling like maybe I'm going to go drop off on their front porch something.

Right.

Other times it's going to be that you decide to be a mentor or to volunteer in some group that you feel you could benefit them from, whether it's, you know, big brothers, big sisters, or I volunteer before our school, which was lunch buddies.

So you sat with children in elementary school for a multitude of reasons and.

But you were just showing up, right?

Every month you just showed up to sit with them whether they wanted to talk or not or play a game.

My husband coached for, you know, over 18 or 20 years.

He still goes to kids that run his team's sports games.

Right.

And he's, he just finished coaching.

But it's like you just keep looking for the opportunities, like you said, to invest in people and of course, invest our own families too.

I mean, right sure.

But it's, I think it's kind of different circles, you know, that we can have impact.

And so we want to be aware of those opportunities in each circle.

Like your, your corporate or career circle, your home.

Right.

Your immediate family, your community.

So I think that's the point is you had people touch you, you know, impact you in every circle of your life at some point.

Right.

Because, but that's the point is you have to be intentional to actually be somebody that creates that habit that we pour into other people.

Yeah, yeah, that.

I, I think the habit is the important element.

And I know I, I, my kids will tell you, dad, you're kind of stuck on that record.

I am because, because I came early on due to depression and things.

I came to some conclusions here.

Life is neither good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

You know, I can wake up today and I can stub my toe and I can whine about that all day long, or I can say, okay, well, lesson learned, don't do that when you're going to this, you know, but, but I think we are what we, we are what we do and we get more of what we do because of what we are.

That's, that's kind of the, so the habit of, of being a giver.

It's family, it's church, it's education, it's work, it's social, because it's who you are, it's what you do, right?

God said, you know, love the Lord, your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength to love your neighbor as yourself, right?

Like that's all you.

That's not a piece of you.

That's not a dimension of you.

That's not a place for you.

That is all you, right?

So I give you two quick examples, right?

First one is I lived in a beautiful neighborhood in New Jersey.

All the homes were set 75 yards from the street.

Every home in the neighborhood, 75 yards.

Beautiful walk, you know, you drive through and you go, wow, this amazing, right?

And it is beautiful.

Until you have to shovel snow for 75 yards, two car wide, deep, right?

It's not so beautiful anymore.

Then you start thinking, I don't think this was really a smart idea.

But I come home one evening and I live on a cul de sac.

There's five homes on the cul de sac.

Then I come home one evening, I know my neighbor across the street, he's an executive, he's traveling.

And you had to drag your trash barrels down to the curb, right?

To, to have him picked up.

Right.

So as I was pulling past the first house I knew, he was gone, his wife was home, their kids are all married and gone.

So I thought, you know, I'll stop and take her trash barrels up.

Because, gosh, you know, it's.

So I do that.

I start driving down the road and I see somebody else's trash barrels.

I think, oh, I'll take those up too, right?

Well, that kind of became my habit.

Every Thursday night when I would come home, if there was trash cans out, I'd take them up, right?

So then fast forward about three months later, we have a Christmas get together with just the adults from our cul de sac.

And the conversation comes up, hey, who's the trash guy?

And I'm going, trash guy?

What are you talking about?

Oh, somebody's been taking my trash barrels up.

I go, really?

They go, yeah, yours haven't been taken up?

I said, I don't think so.

I don't remember that happened, right?

So somebody ends up watching me.

And here's the moral of the story is I come home one day and my wife says, you got a card in the mailbox today.

And I opened the card and it's somebody who writes, I think it's funny, but thanks for being the trash guy.

You don't know how much that means.

And they give me a gift card.

And I'm like, well, this wasn't the point, right?

The point was I wanted to just give them something.

And so.

So I. I think that's the kind of things that happen.

And I continue to do that.

Not.

Not.

Not now, not out of pride or out of arrogance, just out of care, right?

And the other story I'll tell real quick is I'm 20 some years old.

I pull out of my neighborhood where I live, and I start down the road and there's an old lady over by the curb.

It's got a flat tire, and she's standing there staring her car.

I pulled over.

I thought of my grandmother at that point in time, to be honest.

But I got out of the car and I said, can I fix your flat?

She said, oh, would you do that?

I said, yeah.

I started changing her flat.

She starts asking me questions.

And she goes, well, now, where did you grow up?

And I told her where I grew up.

And she goes, well, what street did you live on?

And I told her what street I lived on.

She goes, well, where did you live on that street?

And I'm like, I lived down by the riverbed, about five houses.

She goes, you're not one of the Matzenbacher boys are you?

And I'm telling you, I was like stuck for a second thinking, what, what, what, what?

And she says, I've been praying for you and your brothers and your sister since the day your parents were died.

And I'm telling you, that was a message to me that you, you know, you, you got this opportunity here, this lady who loved you only because you gave.

And so, but so, so I just tear those shores because I think there's opportunities for that in our lifetime.

But if we don't want to stop and make the point of doing that, it's a huge miss for, for not just us, but for those we can encounter.

Yeah.

And to your point, like, you know, I sort of noted earlier, we're talking about we have these opportunities, all these circles, so some are going to be people close to us, some are going to be divine encounters that it might only be for a two minute encounter.

You know, I had a similar story recently.

I probably shared a couple months ago.

I was at the grocery store one day and I knew the skies looked like it was going to rain, but it wasn't raining yet, so I didn't bring my umbrella in.

And if it's raining a little bit, I wouldn't have cared.

But as soon as I got in the store, the heavens literally opened and it was a torrential downpour for 45 minutes.

So I'm thinking maybe by the time I'm done grocery shopping, it'll be gone.

Anyway, so I come out to the little open area of the grocery store, right?

I'm sure you know what that's called.

I can't think of the name of it, you know, but where the carts and everything are, and it's still torrential, I mean, I'm like, I'm going to be drenched like a wet dog that went swimming, right?

So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna wait.

But I look at radar, it's not gonna let up.

So I'm like, probably gonna have to make a run for it.

It is what it is.

So I'm waiting there.

Now I'm outside the store under the little covered area and there's probably five other people waiting there, but there was two older women and they had, you know, their cart of groceries.

So I make a run for my car and I, you know, I think about those women again and I think, you know what?

I have two umbrellas.

I'm gonna go back in the pouring rain and I'm gonna go see if I can help them to their Car.

So the one woman said, she let me help her, but she said, you know, I saw you coming back and I was wondering what you were doing, you know, And I'm drenched by this point, but I'm kind of like, it doesn't matter now.

I'm already so, so I help her to her car and then I get the umbrella from her and I go back and try to help the other woman, but she's not going to have it, which is okay.

Right?

But she's like, no, no, no, I'm just gonna wait.

And I tried to offer her again, but the point was, is I just had that little prompting when I got to my car.

Like, you know what, I could probably go help them, not be soaking wet and not have to wait 30 more minutes or whatever.

It's like that.

You just get that little inkling.

But if I just was so busy in my day, I would have just ignored that, that prompting.

Right.

And I wouldn't have done it.

But you know, that, that told her it was a reminder to her, you know what?

People care.

People are paying attention.

Like they went out in a torrential storm and still helped me.

Right.

And what does that do to us as humanity, as humans?

It fills our heart a little bit more with love, which then we can give more of the next person.

Yeah, I, I do think this whole thing about giving is important because I, you know, I, I, in my, my thought process around that, I actually call it, I say God's empowered us to be a blessing for the more we give, the more he gives back to us.

And I call this the cycle of divine abundance.

And I believe it's true.

I believe when God sees you do well and do good, he decides to say, ah, I've got, I've got, I've got more to give.

And I can give you more, Mark, if that's what you want.

Yeah, absolutely love that.

Yeah.

So one of the things in your book, it says the missed opportunity to give is a loss that can never be regained.

And I think, and I'd love for your thoughts on that, but I think we live in this world you kind of mentioned earlier about technology, but we can, or many of us can get caught on our phone scrolling, you know, oh, what, what is going on in the world that we can get, we can go inward to this little device instead of looking outward.

And so what would you just say about that comment or that quote from your book?

Well, you know, for me, I've spent maybe too much time considering self interest.

It's the dilemma we have in being created in the likeness of God, we begin to think of ourselves as little gods, and we begin to think of ourselves and the needs we have.

Right.

Probably the most profound thing that happened the night I was married was a gentleman stopped me.

I had gone to the bathroom during the reception, and he stopped me.

He was coming out of the bathroom.

Don't know who he was.

Never saw him again.

But he grabbed my arm and he said, son, let me give you some great advice.

Never expect anything from your wife, and you'll never be disappointed.

And I said, well, thank you.

Thank you.

That's great.

You know, and when I thought about that.

And I've thought about that a lot, right?

Expectations are personally driven, right?

But I do think there's this blessing that comes to us when we give.

It's a euphoric feeling.

It's what Christ had to have experienced when he hung on the cross.

He gave for a reason, and he knew how powerful that was going to be.

And so I do believe that you miss the opportunity to enrich yourself by simply not doing anything.

Right.

I was walking down the street.

I walk regularly.

It's part of my habits, right?

And I'm walking down the street, and I'm always timing myself.

I always try and improve who I am, what I do, how I get better.

But I walk down the street and this girl's trying to change a flat tire.

And I'm watching her, and she's actually trying to tighten the tire up, right?

She's going the wrong direction.

Right, Got it.

So I stop and I said, you know, it'd work a lot better if you loosened the bolt right now.

You're tightening the bolt.

She goes, what do you mean?

I saw.

I said, I showed her.

I said, you're.

By pushing this direction, you're tightening it by pulling.

And then I started working on it, and I thought, oh, my goodness, you must have been jumping on this or something.

Anyway, I got two, three bolts loose, you know, And I said, do you want me to help you?

And she goes, no, no, my boyfriend's on the way.

But I'm so thankful that you stopped and showed me that.

Now I feel great because I'll have all the bolts off when he gets here, and I won't look so stupid.

I said, well, I don't think you're stupid.

I said, I just think, you know.

Yeah, you never changed the tire before.

You don't know, right?

But.

And.

And then I walked.

I said, well, okay.

Well, you enjoy your boyfriend.

She goes, oh, I Will, thank you.

Thank you.

Right.

You know, but it.

So it's.

It's that kind of.

I felt good about doing that.

I didn't really do much for her, but I just kind of set her on the right path.

And she.

I think she was more excited about her boyfriend coming than me helping her.

So.

Which is a good thing.

So, you know, but that example is much.

It's a smaller example, but it's the same type of thing as what you talk about in the book about people that spoke into you, spoke into your life.

Right.

Which is this.

We all want to be seen and heard and someone to pay attention to us so that we know we're loved, that someone cared.

And guess what?

Whether it's a small moment of us stopping for a stranger or whether it's us pouring into someone we're working with, you know, mentoring, coaching, whether it's pouring into our children, our spouse, or, you know, somebody like in your case, so many people that poured into you, right.

As a fatherly figure.

All of those are opportunities for us to say to them, I see you, you matter, and I'm going to give you some of my time.

Right.

My treasure or my whatever investment of my energy.

Because you do matter and because I do see you.

Right.

And so I think part of that is this, that when we do something for someone else, whether we physically give them, like, oh, here, I baked fresh bread for a neighbor.

Or whether you're, like you said, you're trying to say, well, how can I serve my wife and go a little bit beyond what I have to do as a husband?

Because I wanted her to know I see her and I love her and I know what's going on today.

She's had a hard day or whatever.

Like, that's part of this whole love and giving thing, is that we are showing up to let people know that.

Because we all have felt, first of all, we can all feel that, and it's in this amazing feeling.

But then also, we've all had, like you said, you've walked through depression and we've all walked through things.

But when you're at your lowest or you're at a hard time, whatever that might be, right?

Like you lost somebody, lost a job, or maybe they've had a struggle in their marriage.

Like when people are there to help you through something or lift you up or just say, like, hey, I. I thought of you and I brought you flowers, I wrote you a card, it lifts us up in a way that only.

We can only do through love and giving.

Yeah, it, it, it's.

I think it's, it's so ultimately important.

And I, and I think one of the things I wanted to say here was I believe that the most valuable scripture is the one you live.

Right?

So, so scripture memorization, I'm, I'm not perfect at it.

I work at it, but I'm not, I'm not perfect at it, but I do believe that if you pick a verse and you memorize it and then you play that back in your mind when whatever happens, a challenge, indifference, negativity comes to you.

That, that, that habit of knowing that and relying on that and holding to that is super value valuable because you can train your mind like a filter with your habits.

Yes.

And you can take those things that come at you and they come at you.

Satan's a crouching lion, man.

He is waiting.

When you think, where does that come from?

Because he knows you're vulnerable somehow, some way, right?

So I, I do think it's, you know, having scripture memorized and, you know, do not be.

Romans 12:2.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.

Right.

You know, we reflect what's going on within us.

Right.

Guard your heart.

Right?

Proverbs 4:23 says, above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

This reminds us that protecting our inner life is an essential.

Right?

And so I think it's, there's all these things that come at us.

Could be social media, could be gossip, could be things on the news.

But, but we can overcome all those if our habit is to search scripture, know scripture, repeat scripture, understand that God is with us and for us.

Who can be against us?

Those who hope upon the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar with wings like eagles.

They will run and they'll grow.

They will walk and not be faint, you know, well, we have the opportunity when we, we totally focus on all that and make that a part of our habit, to make it, to make a difference.

And, and that there's no, you know, my kids have heard me say a lot of things, but, you know, there's no magic in life.

It's a long obedience in the same direction.

God wants us to follow him in a.

And, and giving is the premier thing he wants us to do in that process.

Absolutely.

So do you, do you read Mark Batterson's books?

I, you know, I, I, Because I'm a.

His.

I was a history major, so I read a lot of history.

I just, I'm in the process of reading Marcus Aurelius.

Okay.

I recently read a book, Blaise Pascal.

I'm about halfway through Adam Smith.

So I, I, I read history a lot.

That's my wife's.

I got you.

My wife's a book reader.

More contemporary, but, yeah, she just reads for enjoyment, not well.

And, and I, I know, I think C.S.

lewis said it, but the person I just mentioned, the pastor, that's also an author, he also shares that, that, you know, actually it's recommended.

Right.

That if you, for every current contemporary book you read, you should really read a book from the past so that you don't get stuck in your current.

Right.

Perspective or lens.

Right.

So, yeah.

And I, so I think that's, that's good.

There's definitely a lot to be learned from, you know, older, older books.

So that's great.

Okay, so let me ask you this.

What.

How else would you just want to encourage, you know, everyone just to be that person that's there and can uplift other people, which is a part of this love and giving, but it's just another facet, I guess you could say.

Yeah.

I, I think there's two things I want to encourage people with.

Right.

You know, that don't make this anything other than what I feel.

But, but I start every day with prayer before I get out of bed.

Yes.

That's where I start.

That's my first quiet time with God.

And then I spend time every day with God.

You know, I, Historically, there's, there's prayer times in Jewish history.

There's prayer times through other, you know, orthodoxy and everything else.

Right.

People had.

I need to stay in touch.

I need to stay in touch.

I need to stay in touch.

And they're, they're absolutely right.

I don't know that I, I'm that specific.

But I spend time with God throughout the day, and then I finish my day with God.

I don't go to sleep until I've spent that time with him.

So I do think there's an importance in that connectiveness, like Christ, where I'm asking God, what do you have in store for me today?

Please keep my heart and eyes open.

Right.

Please help me.

Yes.

Help me to see what I wouldn't see if I was too busy with something that wasn't really important to the kingdom.

Right.

But then I do think it's really, it, it is in graining habits, making good choices.

Making good choices.

Making good choices.

It's, you know, and a part of that, I think, and that's why I talk about being a giver and a receiver.

A part of that is seeking.

Yeah.

Counsel.

Right.

Proverbs is really replete with.

If you want to really be wise, don't try and think everything through on your own.

Go out and seek counsel.

Right.

Ask others.

Right.

So, and some of that is, so some of that does happen in my life.

There's, you know, there's opportunities for me.

I'm going to go seek counsel to see what others have to say.

And, and because I value and respect them and I know they love me.

So.

Yeah.

So good.

Okay.

So just what would be maybe as we start wrapping up, just your other words of encouragement just for people as we go about in life?

You know, there's always turmoil in the world that's not new, but sometimes because of how connected we can be.

Right.

With technology and that it can feel more, it can feel heavier maybe than we felt like it was 10, 20, 30 years ago.

But we'll just.

How would you just encourage us?

Because, you know, part of it is what we listen to.

I mean, of course, both of us obviously are, because this is a Christian podcast.

Encourage people to get in the word prayer, deepen your relationship with, with Christ.

But beyond that, I think it is, what are we filling ourselves up with?

But also how do we keep ourselves encouraged beyond.

I mean, God's word 100.

So what else would you just share with us to encourage people in their.

Yeah.

As they build their lives?

So I, I had a professor in, when I was working in my undergrad graduate who was good friends with Corrie Ten Poom.

And I got to meet her and we were having discussion, and she said to me, you know, how many good friends do you have?

And I said, oh, man, I don't, you know, started counting on my fingertips.

I said, maybe, maybe, maybe 10 or 12.

And she goes, oh, I'm not sure about that.

She says, I found that in life you really only have a few, maybe a handful.

Good.

When I say good friends, she says, somebody you can share everything with.

The good, the bad, the, the ugly.

And, and so I would say, today I have three friends.

Three.

And I meet with them regularly and we spend time together.

So I think you, you need to work to ensure that you've got those kind of friendships where I can cry and I can bleed my heart and I can confess, you know, I, I, I mess this up and I'm still trying to figure out how to resolve it internally first and then externally, you know, and I, so I, I think find the three people or four people or five, or maybe you're a superstar, the 10, whatever the number is.

But find those people, invest in those relationships, be committed to those relationships because that you'll.

You'll benefit from that over and over again.

But then I, I would say the other thing is you do need to be.

You do need to have habits.

And I, I like habits because habits breed habits, right?

Yeah, Because I want to stay healthy.

I watch what I eat, I get.

I watch how much I sleep.

I.

You know, there's other things that I do as a part of the rigor of staying healthy, right.

And because I want to be connected with God.

There's.

There's habits that I have.

And there, I think there, there's a value.

There's a value, obviously, of meeting with God.

But, you know, there's so much dynamic, I think, you know, the great thing my grandma used to say to me all the time as a kid and just didn't make sense until I was probably in my 20s.

She saw that I had a lot of fear and worry and anxiousness about life because I didn't have my parents.

She knew.

And she would always say to me, mark, the sun's going to come up tomorrow.

And I'd always walk away thinking.

And I, I don't even know what she means by that.

It comes up every day, right?

But she was trying to tell me that tomorrow is a new day.

Everything is new.

So I would encourage people to think not in the past.

You can dwell in the past and it can just.

You can drag it with you and, and it's a labor.

It, it doesn't do you any good.

But you focus on the future.

Because God changes everything all the time.

No two snowflakes in, in all of time, they say, right?

Leaves on trees.

And, you know, you know, the whole world is a constant flux of change, and it dies and it grows back, and it dies and it grows back.

And so I don't ever look at the ending regard, you know, and I can go down the path of the loss of my parents and the loss of my grandma and, you know, those kind of endings where I can go to.

I don't do my job anymore.

Now I'm.

I'm on to new.

But I look at new beginnings.

God creates new beginnings everywhere you turn, Right.

My children went from being babies that you had to constantly to toddlers to adolescents to, you know, I don't know.

I don't know what's going on in this kid's head, Right?

Because now you know, he's trying to figure out life for himself.

Okay, well, that's a good thing.

It's new, that.

And, and now I'm a grandparent of, you know, 11 grandkids.

So, you know, and I, I, I look at my grandkids as being creative genius.

This is God at his best moment.

Right, Right.

I see those kids different than I saw my own kids.

Right.

But yeah, so, so everything is new.

Everything is.

Every day is new.

And that's why I say, I start the day with kind of saying, where do you want me to go today?

What's in store for me?

How can I help?

Yeah.

So good.

There's a. I don't remember.

She's psychiatrist or psychologist, but she's an author.

I think she's still living.

She was a year or two ago, but Edith Eager, she was a concentration camp.

I mean, she was in the concentration camp.

She lost her parents there.

I can't remember.

She lost a sibling, but so she came up.

She ended up living United States, practicing for a really long time.

But one of the things she says in one of the beginning of her books is, I think it's called the Gift is the Book.

But basically, she works with people.

Right.

And a lot of them are stuck in this trauma or victim mentality, I should say.

And she says people are asking, why me?

Like, why did this happen to me?

Much like what happened to her.

Much like what happened to your parents, unfortunately.

And she says, no, you have to reframe it to say, what now?

Or what's next?

Because to your point, when we have our eyes on today and we have our eyes on the future.

Yes.

Our past and whatever we had to walk through or will, I mean, it will be part of who we are.

But like you said, we don't want it to be this burden upon us so that we can't do everything God wants us to do in the future.

Right.

So we have to, like you said, set our sights on that future.

So.

No, those are both great things to share.

Okay.

So, Mark, can you share with us where can people learn about your book?

You know, and anything else that you want to share?

Just if people want to connect with you.

Yeah.

So the book is available through Amazon, but it's also at Barnes and Nobles and Books a million.

So however you choose to go about that, I do have a, A website.

It's.

It's just spelled out phonetically.

New Dimensions Intl.

Co. And so I've got some things on there to share.

I'm on Facebook and I'm on LinkedIn and if you contact me, I will get back to you.

I, I can promise you that.

So I've had some people ping me and you know, we've had some dialogue and there's all I want to do is help people, right?

So yeah, whatever I have to give, it's yours.

So I love it.

Yeah.

And we'll have that in the show notes as well.

So people can just click the link if somebody wants to learn more.

Thank you for coming on today, sharing a little bit about your story and your book and just about your heart to just be somebody that's encouraging the rest of us, right, to remember to do what we're already called to do.

Right, which is love and to give, to be people of hope and to just uplift each other.

So thank you so much.

Thank you.

Been an honor and a blessing to be with you.

As we wrap up today, I wanted to let you know that if you haven't already joined my email newsletter, head over to KristinFitch.com and you can grab one of my free workbooks.

The newest one I've just released just for you is called Joy Rising, but it's a daily journal sheet where you can put in what you're grateful for, where you saw God's presence or God move in your life, and what things brought you joy in your day.

But it's going to help you refocus and recenter yourself on how God is moving in your life and what is he doing in your life.

So go and grab that.

Now head over to KristenFitch.com and it's under my workbooks page.

And I can't wait to just encourage you each week in your email box as well.

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