Stop Judging, Start Loving: Welcoming Others with Christian Love

Hey friends, welcome back to Faithfield Woman.

Today we're going to talk about what kind of Christian are we?

Are we welcoming with open arms or are we a bit judgy?

Are we turning people away from faith and from our lives or are we welcoming people in regardless of where they're at on their path?

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Okay, so I've one thing I've learned is that when I have a little prompting, something strikes me that I'm reading or a thought hits me when I'm walking.

I need to just stop what I'm doing and start recording a solo episode of the podcast.

The reason is sometimes I have the thought I might write something down, but if I wait, sometimes it's days or a week before I get back to it or I lose some of the fire I guess that I have for whatever struck me.

And so today I was reading, and I do read several different devotionals, but today I was reading again catch Catching Whimsy by Bob Goff.

And something hit me.

But I want to start with a story first and it's this.

If you've been in somebody that's always been at church, right?

You've every week religiously, you've been going to church.

Sometimes we can forget what it feels like to be a newbie.

You know, somebody that maybe never had faith and they didn't have a relationship with God.

Maybe there's people coming to that have moved in the area that are new to the area looking for a church, maybe it's somebody looking for a new church because they've been hurt by their faith.

There are so many people coming and going, often in churches.

The problem is, are we being welcoming and inviting to everyone or are we giving off this sense of entitlement like we're better than other people?

Or are we judging people because of how they're dressed?

Are we judging people because of how they look?

Are we judging people because they don't show up every week, or they haven't come to church in years?

I think too many of us, without realizing it, have great intentions.

But we are judging people.

We are Judgy people.

And it's a problem.

So many years ago, when my kids were young, we, you know, consistently went to church.

Now, we might have missed church.

I mean, there's some weeks where we missed church.

We had three young kids, boys, and I remember they were going to their faith formation classes, and they.

Maybe my oldest son, he might have been the only one in them at the time, or maybe two of my sons.

My other son was too little at the time, but one of the volunteers, right, that was teaching his class made it.

Excuse me, made a comment like, oh, it's good to finally see you again or something.

But whatever it was, it came off as judgmental and it.

It kind of offended me.

I mean, I didn't tell anyone that it offended me at the time, but it bothered me and it made me not want to go back and take him back to the class because I was kind of like, you don't know my business.

You don't know what's going on, you know, week to week, trying to get the kids out the door to get to church.

Or maybe we had somewhere we had to be that day or that night for class.

And it just turned me off.

Right.

It was off putting.

And I had been going to that same church, you know, other than when I was at college and things.

I went there until I was over 40.

You know, I mean, yes, there might have been ebbs and flows where I wasn't always as consistent.

So this would have been when my kid.

I.

It was probably my 30s, my early 30s, when this person made the comment.

But my point is, I was somebody that had been part of that church.

Actually, I. I was one of the first people to be one of the first babies baptized in that church.

And this person had the audacity to say that.

But I think we don't realize that little jabs, even if they have good intention, like maybe that guy was trying to encourage my son, but it did the exact opposite.

It totally turned me off and made me not want to take him back to the classes.

So are we acting like that person was during my son's religious education classes?

Are we meaning well, but then we make a little comment or a jab like, oh, I haven't seen you in some months.

That's not helpful.

Now, what could be helpful is welcoming them and just say, like, hello, oh, you look great today.

You know, like, make a positive comment, a warm comment.

And so in the devotional today, Bob says, find someone perched on the periphery and pull them into the conversation.

But he's basically talking about, you know, clicks and the cool kids in high school, but that that still happens in adulthood.

And he said, unfortunately, this dynamic isn't limited to high school.

We all have experienced the same thing in our faith communities, social communities and workplaces.

But he says the thing about Jesus is that he let everyone know they were welcome.

His message of acceptance wasn't limited to the popular or talented people.

And I would add, not just talented or popular, but he would welcome people no matter what they were doing, no matter who they were hanging with, no matter if they had ever shown up again or before.

In other words, he welcomed everybody.

No matter if you align with them or not.

He welcomed he would welcome everyone even if you don't understand them.

And yet we if you ask people that don't go to church, if you ask people that maybe have gone to church but felt hurt or alienated by, by churches or by rapid Christians, it's because we are off putting so often.

So he says, here's my question for you.

Are you giving off a vibe of accessibility and availability and safety, or are you one who stands off or has intermediaries who stand between you and the people who want to connect with you?

And he says, I get that availability can create some odd and uncomfortable situations, but Jesus evidently thought it was worth it.

And my guess is that he still feels that way today.

And I think this is so important because this is really a struggle for so many Christians.

And I want to share a couple other things, but I also just want to mention while I get that the Bible tells us to spread the good news, right, the Gospel, I do also think that we're put there for different parts of people's experience to coming to Christ.

In other words, we're not all meant on the first interaction with somebody to pull them in and try to convince them that they should have a relationship with with Christ, they should become a Christian.

Often it's going to take lots of little interactions with Christians with the Word, with prayers to come to that place.

We may be the first person on that train, if you will, which we're just supposed to be an example of the fruit of the Spirit, an example of what the being, welcoming, being like Christ.

And so I think we have to remember that I have known people for years where they are still grappling with their faith.

And it took a long time before we actually had a conversation about God directly.

You know, just One on one, because I wasn't force feeding it.

Like I might bring up my faith or something that I'm like how I'm able to stay calm sometimes or peaceful, or how I'm able to bring it to God.

But I never tried to preach, if you will, right, with this person because it has to come organically, when the person is ready, in different circumstances or in different conversations, of course.

Invite people, right?

Invite them into your home, invite them to your fellowship, invite them to church, whatever you want to do, but don't force it on people, right?

So here's the next thing that I wanted to share with you.

I like this quote.

It's from the book of Mason Moxie and it says it's not my responsibility to change other people, nor them me, I'm free to love him or who without stipulation, which creates a much wider, safer space to actually let God do what God does, which is redeem all of our lives into glory.

In other words, we're to be the example.

We are to be the hands and feet of Christ.

We are to be loving and we are to be welcoming and we are to let like meet people where they're at.

We are not to be the judges.

We are not to be the people trying to tell them that they're sinning.

Now this is different.

I'm not talking about your closest Christian friend where you have deep, intimate conversations about struggles, things they're going through.

That is a different thing, right?

That is somebody that you look to as a, a safe voice, as a guide, as someone giving you quick Christian guidance.

Those are different conversations.

I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about people in your community, people that are not in your tightest, closest circle at this point.

We're talking about people that we're trying to bring in that we want to welcome into faith into a relationship with Christ.

And then the other thing that I want to share is this is by Ralph Waldo Emerson and it's from, let's see, from inspiration and wisdom.

It says, finish each day and be done with it.

You have done what you could.

Some blunders and absurdities crept in.

Forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

And here's the thing.

All of us are walking through things.

All of us are struggling with things that we have to decide how to act, what to do.

We all screw up, we all sin in some way.

But as Christians, so Many of us, even though we're not supposed to, we put sin at different levels in our minds as humans.

Maybe it's because our brains work that way, but we think, oh, well, this person cheated.

This person was involved in a, I don't know, some terrible incident.

And we think, oh, those are worse than this other thing.

And I'm not saying it doesn't sound worse, right?

I mean, taking a life or whatnot.

But what I am saying is God tells us if we come to him, regardless of our sin, and that we will keep sinning.

Yes, if we're in Christ, he helps us remove ourselves from that, but it doesn't mean we're.

We're never going to be perfect.

And so we have to stop judging and acting like we are somehow better than someone else, even if we're doing it subconsciously.

It's happening in our churches, it's happening in our communities, it's happening in our families.

And while I'm at it, actually, I would say too many of us are judging other people because of their political viewpoints, who they voted for, their viewpoints on vaccines, Covid, all these things.

And it's a dangerous and slippery slope.

Why?

Because you are putting judgment, believing your viewpoint, your choice, your candidate is right or better or is somehow the high road.

And once again, as a Christian, that is not true.

We all do the best we can.

We all are trying to grapple with and make decisions that make sense for us and our families.

We do not have to agree on anything.

But we can show up with respect, we can show up in love.

We can show up and know what comes first in my life.

Well, it should be God, then family, right?

Like, in other words, there's a.

There should be an order to it.

But somehow so many of us don't realize that we've been blinded by anger or division, that we don't realize we're putting political viewpoints and choices at the top of the pedestal.

I don't know about you, but that to me sounds like an idol.

I mean, in other words, we are more obsessed with that than we are going to God with, with being somebody like Christ.

And this has got to change.

There's so many Christians I know that they adamantly disagree on politics, medical freedom, on, I mean, name the thing.

It's so many things at this point, on social issues, on environmental issues.

Once again, though, if you go way back, you know anybody that's over, I don't know, 30 something.

When our parents were growing up and then when we were young people could have conversations and they could just have a respect, they could agree to disagree and it, and they could still respect their neighbor, be friends with their neighbor, be friends with their family members.

They didn't disinvite them to Christmas.

And so this is something that I think we all need to ask ourselves.

The question, where am I judging other people?

Where am I holding on to resentment?

Where am I instead of having open arms and inviting people in, where am I closed off?

And we need to take that, we need to think about it, pray about it, and we need to take it to God, like God.

Where is it that I have a.

Have I hardened my heart?

Where is it that I haven't realized that my viewpoints are not allowing me to be the best example of Christ in the world?

That's not allowing me to show up lovingly and open hearted Because I think this is, this is a serious issue.

There's so much division and dissent in our world at this point.

But I believe we're called as Christians to bridge the gap, right?

To be the person that says, I'll come alongside of you no matter where you're at, no matter what you're doing, no matter what environment you're in, no matter your viewpoint.

Our job is not to judge.

Our job is not to change people's minds.

Our job is to be like Christ in the world.

And you know, like I said, Bob Goff's devotional just hit me today.

It was only one little bit of that, but it kind of took me down this path.

And like I said, I've had other examples of going into other churches because after sometime around 40, we tried other churches.

Right.

I left that church and there was nothing wrong with that church and I left that denomination, if you will, for that time.

But it was because I felt like my kids weren't getting what they needed.

I didn't feel like they had a good kids program.

But to be honest with you, ever since then we've struggled.

We went to other churches for some time.

Covid hit right and then online church for us.

So it's been, it's been a process, you know, and so.

And now my kids are now grown, they're 18 to 23 and you know, they're still finding their way with their faith, you know, as many young adults do.

Some are very faith oriented and some are not in that I find my kids in that same, in that same realm or range.

Some that are wanting to dig into their faith and some that are still questioning their faith and things like that.

But you know, I'm always praying about that.

I'm praying for them, you know, over them.

And so, yeah, today I just want to come on and just ask ourselves the question, because it's good to be a Christian to say we're a Christian.

But the question is, what are our thoughts and what are our actions telling people?

What are we giving off?

What's the energy?

Because it's not just about speaking and saying, oh, welcome.

People can tell by your vibe, by your energy, if you're sincere.

So you can speak whatever you want, but if it's a lie, and by lie, I don't mean it's a lie because you don't feel the same way of what you're speaking, right?

It's misaligned.

So I would say we need to get right with ourselves.

Like get right with God and get right with ourselves.

We need to, we need to be welcoming if we want to grow the church.

We have to show up and encourage people.

We need them to feel like no matter what's going on in their life, no matter what they're walking through, no matter what they've done, they are welcome here.

But until we do that, we're gonna have empty seats, empty pews.

Like now there's a lot of revival going on around the world and in the U.S. especially young people, right?

There's college campus revivals.

I see all the time that people that do that type of ministry are doing.

There is revivals at, across the country, at states and across the world.

People like, let us worship are doing.

So there's tons of people coming, like feeling the presence of the Lord and coming to Christ.

But they are the new Christians now.

What happens if they had that experience and then they go, they show up to a church and they don't feel welcome.

It feels cold, they feel off put.

Do you think they're going to keep going?

They might not.

It's our job to help them grow in their faith.

It's our job to help them know that no matter where they're at, they are becoming the person Christ made them to be.

One day at a time, one choice at a time, one mistake at a time.

Because each day is a new day and we get to try again.

Okay, so that's it.

I just wanted to come on, I wanted to speak this thing that kind of hit me and I don't know about you, but I try to not be judging.

It doesn't mean that I never am, but I just, I want to keep being better.

I want to keep opening my heart more and More so that I'm the person as I love.

Bob Kauf says two things.

He says we are the person that when someone meets us, they get a little glimpse of heaven.

Like they get a little glimpse of who Christ was because we are embodying the Holy Spirit.

No, it's all about Bob today, I tell you.

But honestly, he's kind of like an older, wiser brother.

What can I say?

But I remember in one of his books, I don't know which one, he says people don't need more roles.

They don't need to be told more of what to do.

They need to see the example of people loving them, caring about them, like pointing them towards Christ, but because they see the love and what we get from that relationship.

Not because we are trying to shame them or force them or say this scripture says you better do this like, right, like, in other words, it's because we're coming with an open heart and open arms.

So my call to all of us is, are we showing up as that type of Christian in our lives or are we still holding on to judgment and somehow we're closed off?

And maybe it's because your whole life this was the example that you saw, or maybe it's because the church that you have always gone to or the town you live in there, or the community, that is the pattern, that's the type of faith in the world you've seen.

And I totally get that there are a lot of closed off Christians, but I know that that's not what we're being called to do or be.

And so I think we all need to check our heart, check our intentions and ask ourselves like how are we showing up in the world?

How are we showing up in our communities?

How are we showing up in our conversations?

And how are we showing up in our churches?

Until next time, I hope you have a great and also I want to let you know, if you haven't already joined my weekly newsletter, I'd love for you to come and join my community.

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