Everyone has a Book in Them & What Holds Us Back From Doing the Next Time
Join Kristin as she interviews, Abigail Gazda, an author, publisher, life coach and podcast host of the Hearts Unleashed Podcast, to talk about starting new things, being authentic, and what it’s like to be an author and publisher. Kristin and Abigail also talk about the continous process of editing, assessing and discovering who we are becoming and doing the work to build a life that works for us. They talk about the concept of asking who am I supposed to be instead of what am I supposed to do as this allows each of us to keep growing into the person we are meant to be and focus less on the current identities we identify with in our current season.
Another important question they discuss is why do we settle in lives and sometimes set goals or desire that aren’t our own. If you are a writer, speaker or podcaster or interested in stepping into these areas this is a great conversation around what that looks like. And each of us has a book or books inside of us or a story to tell so the question posed is- is it time to get started?
Mon, 5/23 2:31PM • 54:26
work, people, life, grow, world, book, coach, realize, long, authentic, trauma, part, love, business, heart, gift, water, important, feel, step
I cannot wait for you guys to listen. In today’s episode, we are going to talk about how do we be your most authentic selves. We are going to talk about how if we take care of ourselves, we we can take care of our calling, we are going to step into what it looks like to be a writer. We’re going to talk about what it looks like to start a book to be a podcaster. We are going to talk about the future work and we’re really going to talk about how do we step into who we’re supposed to be. So that it comes from our heart our calling, instead of what am I supposed to do? I think you’re gonna be so blessed and just really get so much out of today’s episode, so I cannot wait for you to listen in.
Hi, today on the podcast. I would like to welcome Abigail Gazda. She is a heart centered entrepreneur, a best selling author and publisher. She is the CEO of hearts unleased, which is also the name of her podcast like to welcome her today. Welcome, Abigail.
Thank you. Thank you for having me. I’m excited to be here.
Absolutely. Can you start off with telling us a little bit about your backstory, and then how you got into what you’re doing and what you’re up to now,
I’ll start with backstory. But I’m going to start with the end in mind, which is it’s a constant evolution, right? I am now the CEO of hearts unleashed. I’m a publisher. And funny funny piece of that is, I don’t think I finished any book that wasn’t assigned to me before the age of at least 24. Right. Like, I wasn’t interested in books, I never spoke true that I would be an author that wasn’t a big dream of mine. But as I grew, and I was a teacher in my past life, and then I was a manager of a fitness gym. And as I continue to grow, and as a specifically as a coach, so I I’m gonna start from there.
Like my, my real backstory, being a coach and a leader and a CEO, is in 2016 is when I was introduced, I was managing a gym and I had hired a gal who worked part time for me. And after about like three weeks of working together, she said, you know, will you come check out my coach training program, everything that I’m being trained to say like you already, that’s how you speak, and I think you’d be really interested in it. And I went in Chicago in 2016, to the coach training programs, accomplishment coaching, I 10 out of 10 recommended, I think it’s great, but I walked into that room. And it was like I had found some promised land or I found family I didn’t know I had they were speaking a language that my heart knew. And I was like, What is this?
And I was sold I was in and I mean, like the rest is history as many people say, but it developed because then the the next level of transformation came from being a really great coach naturally, but not naturally a good business woman. So I had all this skill, all this intuition, all this understanding and how to work with people specifically being trained to be a teacher.
But that then I had to learn how to offer it, sell it, explain it talk to people enroll people register. And so that was a real evolution as well, which was then I put my head down and figured out how to do that. Started getting so inspired. I was writing books about it. And yeah, it’s really developed over time. That’s so good.
So tell me about that. Like you said, You’ve been a teacher, you’ve you know, you’ve been a manager, the fitness club, you definitely didn’t think when you were growing up that you are going to write books or become a coach. So can you talk to us a little bit about and you know, both of us talk about trying to be authentic, how do we really dig in and be our true selves? And you sort of mentioned this, it’s an iteration, right?
It’s a continuing process of evaluating assessment, editing, trying things, but what can you tell us about how you shifted into these things? And was that was it uncomfortable as you got new when he left? identities or titles behind him when you get new ones are you did both. So tell us about that. And was that hard? Was it painful to walk through? Or was it pretty like easy for you?
I love that question. I’m like, I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that way. So thank you. Because I want what I want to say is at every level of the journey, I always thought and figured I was being my most authentic self. So I think that that’s really important for people to hear. Because we, we don’t need to hate our past selves, we don’t need to make ourselves wrong for the way that we are. It is acceptance, like authenticity comes from acceptance. And then as we grow, we naturally discover more about ourselves, we naturally get more clear about our preferences, right. And so that has been a really important part of the journey. So so to speak to that. Every time that I, I sort of, let’s say, discovered a new part of me.
Or that an old part of me was sort of revealing itself as outdated. That’s how I want to say it because we, I don’t want to shame any past self. Like I’m always doing my best. We’re always doing our best. So shedding. Shedding was a challenging experience. And then teaching people particularly from my past, who might have liked the old version of me. So teaching people, this is who I am now, this is how I am now this is what I’m interested in now. A lot.
I’ve got it I’ve gotten a lot of feedback that I would call negative or critical, saying what I just wish that we knew, like we missed the old ABBY I missed the old Abby, I want old Abby back. And I’ve had to tell people, you do know that that version of me was completely structured on people pleasing and, and working really hard for validation and approval. And so that was a challenging thing, because I like the statement, you teach people how to treat you. Right?
So I was teaching I had to read teach people how to treat me how to see me how to relate to me, and some people decided they didn’t like that version. And some people have followed me all along the way. And the ones that really loved me really loved me through it all. But the to answer your question very specifically, no, it was not easy. This has not been easy. It doesn’t always feel good. And and it’s not about the external. It’s the internal. I have love from my people, really, I’ll say no matter what. And, and it’s me confronting my own fears of rejection, or my own fears of disappointing people that I’ve had to face.
And that’s where the discomfort has really been, you know. So yes, I have felt authentic the entire way. But the more I develop, the more I find out about me, the more I mature and become a woman and have these different preferences and everything. So it’s been an evolution. Yeah, that yeah, that’s, that’s good. And I think you’re right. I mean, for instance, when I worked more so heavily in tech, I worked with a lot of guys, which I’m totally comfortable with that.
But what I didn’t know is subconsciously I was maybe trying to fit in, instead of be completely myself. So it was more like I was tamping myself down. It wasn’t about me trying to not be myself or being authentic. It was literally just, oh, well, okay, I need to be sort of like this, you know, and of course, I was still myself when I was still girly and everything, you know, but it’s still I wasn’t till I reflected back in those periods that I realized that I was holding myself or part of myself back. It was not purposeful at all. And that was still me, but it wasn’t all of me.
You know, like it was it was like a dial down version, if you will. And so over time, like you’re saying it’s about discovery, it’s about thinking, what am I left behind in my past that I loved in somehow I’ve put it on pause, or I went into a new season. And I didn’t realize how important that part of me was, you know, like, for instance, I love taking pictures, not a professional. I’m not trying to be professional at it. But there was a long time way back that I didn’t I wasn’t doing that, you know. And so it’s things like that, where you say, oh, wait a minute, there’s this thing I really love for me. It’s very artistic. It’s very creative.
Maybe I need to pick back up the camera or my phone to take pictures which I do every single day. Yeah, I never was I needed those outlets, right. And so part of it is accepting, you know what, maybe I shouldn’t have left that behind, or I need to pick it back up. Because that’s part of me. And it’s a part of me, that makes me happy and joyful.
I love what you’re saying. And as I’m listening to you speak, I just I wanted to accentuate the multifaceted parts of us the multi dimensional being that we are right, like, we’re not just a mom, just a CEO, just a woman, just a man, anything. And so being able to accentuate all the parts of us and let all the parts of us play and be seen and be free and unleashed.
Because I think even in branding, you know and you know, your audience may diversify. It’s it’s not all about business. It’s not all about relationship but but that we get like, and let’s let’s backpedal for a second we live in, we’re currently interviewing in 2022. It’s really sexy right now, to turn your passion into an income. So it’s like, we can’t almost just have a hobby, without feeling a pressure to perform with it, when really, we might just like to paint bad paintings or cooking, you know, whatever. And so we don’t need to turn it into business. But that we really are not just one thing, and we have permission to be all the people all the versions of us that we are.
Absolutely. So on that, you know, I, there’s definitely times in our life that I think we, we don’t choose a change in our life, right? So you might be you, maybe you lost your job. And now you aren’t going to be working in that same industry. Maybe you were married and you got divorced, right? There’s so many things where our the way we relate it to the world with an identity gets taken, the rug gets pulled out from under us, if you will, we’re still us.
But we have to get changed when we didn’t choose it. So anything to say about that, because I think I hear people talk about stuff like this all the time. And it’s, it’s when they’re working, walking through hard season that this happens. And how can we make that easier? You know, what have you found, you know, that helps us understand that’s just a piece of us, it is just a title, even though there might be pain or trauma associated with it. But how do we step through that to really fully embrace ourselves?
I love this question as well. Good, thank you for all the good questions, because this is very diverse, but um, the, for me, that was divorce, the season that I didn’t pick, you know, what you were kind of referencing or like something that felt forced upon you. So when I and that was a very tough season for me. And I was 27. And I had married my college sweetheart, we were together for six years, and, and he decided that he didn’t want to be married. And and that was, you know, he was trying to be and that wasn’t working for him. And that was really disruptive for me, because I was here on cloud nine in my own sort of like fantasy world.
And in then it all went away. And and so I heard your question about like, how can we move through those seasons to stay authentic to keep coming up that time. So one, I’m a huge proponent for professional support, if that’s therapy, if that’s coaching, if that’s consultant, and there’s lots of free resources, also to be able to process but I 10 out of 10 encourage people to process what they’re going through a lot of us become completely compartmentalized. And then we avoid, and that’s not functional, we can not live our most authentic selves, if we’re trying to talk are a part of us away pain, anger, confusion, resentment. So we have to bring all the totality of who we are out.
And we’re not good at doing that alone, like professional support is so powerful. I’m also just going to if you are someone who’s in the process, journaling is one of the most the simplest. And then also one that’s not so talked about is mirror work, sitting down in front of the mirror with yourself eye contact, and really get in touch with who you are in what’s going on within you. Because we’re so used to looking out all day long, that we forget, we even have a body we forget, we even have feelings that we’re struggling with. And we try to hide them and we do so well in the world. But when it’s just us at night, and and those feelings want to be seen and heard, like there’s no way through them, but through them. And that’s what I would love to say to anybody in a tough season who’s really committed to being authentic.
Listen, if you want to hide and, and put on an identity and put on a mask and try to make it you can, everybody probably goes through those phases. But eventually, like I believe that eventually that will catch up with you. And it’ll kick your butt up and down the road if you’re trying to hide from them. And so I just really encourage people to process what they’re going through. Yeah, yeah.
So let me ask you, I think you know, both both of us kind of aligned with you know, it shouldn’t just be all work you have to really curate and nurture these other parts of us these other relationships things that bring us joy are that you know, just fill out fill us up to tell us a little bit about your lifestyle and your work with your lifestyle you want and like the fun creative adventurous things you do.
I would love to thank you i a live a very unconventional life to most people. I definitely have dismantled the nine to five a lot of societal norms, all of those things. And I grew up in the Midwest, from a from a blue collar family and we believe that hard work is good and rites and there’s that is fine. And I personally based on my zodiac and making In design, and like all these different features that I started to learn as they grew, I’m not built to work super hard. I’m not built to work. 24/7 part of my greatest gift is rest, and relaxation and being fully sourced and restored. And so my life looks maybe lazy for some people where, oh, why are you sleeping till this time? Or why are you You know, you, you haven’t worked in four days. But the what I know about myself in my alignment, is that I can do more work in four hours than some people can in four days.
And so I’ve really, again, I’m laughing because I saw there’s so much self acceptance, acceptance tied into this, when I it, it took literal years. So I want to tell anybody who’s working on this, it took literal years to decondition me talking so badly to myself, like, you should be working harder, you’re lazy, you’re, you’re going to get beat, you’re never going to succeed that way. Like all that stuff. Because I grew up, I played college basketball, all I knew was be tough. And when I stopped being tough, I started being sensitive, and kind and gentle and tender one with myself.
But with that helped me be that way with other people. But it opened up something because I’m a sensitive person. I’m an intuitive, I’m an empath times 100. And so with that my greatest gift is being slow and rest and insensitive. And so my life looks very different. I’m here in Costa Rica right now. But I’m a nomad. And I travel all over. And I’m sourced by nature. So I love spending time, you know, in the trees and in the water. And so it’s a little unconventional.
Oh, I think it’s fantastic. I think most people should pick up at least some of that, right? I mean, definitely getting a nature wherever you live, and just trying to find something that you enjoy doing, you know, especially if it’s outside or it’s, you know, get you moving and things. But I think it’s so good. And I also think what’s really important, what you said is not just that you’ve Well, a couple of things. One is that it does take time for us to deconstruct what society and what our upbringing and what culturally we’ve been subconsciously told as well as consciously, like, this is how life should look, you know, and you should, oh, my gosh, a regular job and you know, good paying job, and it should be traditional, and then you get married. Like, I know, a lot of that has changed. But what I’m saying is, when we were growing up, we were hearing those or seeing those messages, right? That’s changed today a lot. But when when I was little that was still being told, or you were you were. And so a lot of us like you know, even myself, we are doing lots of different things like I worked for myself, same sort of thing. Now I have kids so I have a little more at the moment tied obligation that I’m that I’m here more otherwise, I’m a nomadic soul as well. You know, like I said, Sir, and I wouldn’t be gone, I would be gone taking the road. So that’s coming up soon again, for me. But, you know, I think though, the point I would make is one, you have to question is what you’re pursuing is what the priorities that you, you know, I’ve talked to people, they were making millions of dollars in their 20s. And then they realized they were just a bitter person, like, they got most aligned with their true goals for themselves. They were chasing after some other ideal. And so one is you need to, you need to ask yourself and revisit this regularly. What really are the priorities in your life? What do you what would make your life feel the most rich and meaningful, and you’ve done that and then too, you don’t have to fit into the mold with what anyone else wants you to fit into, because it has to fit best for you. And then talking about thing, this is so important. You talked about the rest and the needing to recharge to be fully present with your gifts. Yeah. So I mean, of course, I talk to people in the show quite a bit about that. But I think in general, you know, the populace. That is we do we we shove away our feelings and our emotions, and we want to just not deal with them. But to I think it was two weeks ago, two or three weeks ago, something with my oldest son had had happened and he’s fine and everything, but it was emotionally and mentally draining for me. Totally. And it was almost like what didn’t happen, but it made me feel like you know, as the mama bear kind of like, oh my gosh, like, thank the Lord, like everything was okay. But my point is, is I went into that work week thinking I was fine. And I found myself not able to get my work done. And so I’ve had to like really sit with that and realize that thing had happened to me and well, it wasn’t a trauma. It was it drained me so much emotionally. I had to just realize that week, I was gonna get a little bit of work done, but I had to just take a lot more time to not sit and do work on this and then at this level, and even the next Monday after that I was working and I realized at for two, three hours, I hit my wall. That’s not normal for me, but it’s because that stuff that was going on was so emotionally draining that I had to, I’ve had to step away. And I think it almost a year, I had never not published a podcast episode. And I mean, normally have them booked out six weeks, and they’re scheduled. But I happen to be in between my DAP where I was really getting episodes ready. So I had recorded, I couldn’t even get him. I couldn’t book I couldn’t get the two things done that week, I just had to say, Okay, this is gonna be a break week, just to because I could have gotten them up. But I was feeling overwhelmed. And I said, Okay, this means this is time that I have to acknowledge that instead of pushing through it, because I have to be rested and recharged, otherwise, it won’t be good for myself, for my business or for my family. You know, and so I think we under, we downplay the importance of what you just said, and I think it’s so important.
Thank you for that. And for the listeners, there’s a term I’d like to introduce if they in case they haven’t heard it, but emotional endurance, right, like when we are tapped out we are tapped out period. And, and so and I what I love about this is it’s not it’s you, you know that you know, this, like at the depth of who you are, this isn’t a new concept, right? And so but what’s so cool about this is our emotional endurance is exactly like our physical endurance, rest, water, healthy food, you know, those sorts of things is the same thing that if we’re doing the right things to care for our body, we’re also caring for our mind. Obviously, there’s more like this, our spiritual practices, maybe some rituals, or again, like I said, journaling and mirror work, but but the thing we need to be sourced, we need to be energized. And when you like you said when you face too many obstacles for a lot of people 2020 And beyond has been like that work, we are facing emotional trauma after emotional trauma after and we’re expected to get back up and go to work. It’s crazy. And so we have to become more responsible at these days, these times the the time space reality that we are on the leading edge of like all of that is that we are supposed to become much more responsible for our emotional wellness. Yeah, right. And when you say building a life you love, you can when you’re well, when I had to reorganize me, you were mentioning like pride priorities. And I that’s kind of what I was picking up on. It’s like, my priorities are myself. And we’ve mostly have been taught to believe that that’s selfish, right? But if, and I’ve tried to rearrange my priorities, so my priorities myself and my well being, and then it’s spirit or God, or or source, and then it’s service, and I want to, I want to give this to the audience, because service means your family service means your client service means your whatever, right? And so but if you put service first, you will drain out, if you put spirit first you will drain out, you have to take care of your being so that you can show up for your calling. Right.
And I just love that because our emotional endurance if we let that slide, if we get and it’s just maintenance, you wouldn’t not you know, when you don’t change the oil in your car, you’re going to end up on the side of the road. If you don’t change the oil in you, you’re going to end up with a problem. However that looks. Yeah.
And I think part of that, right, that emotional endurance is also you know, like decision decision fatigue, right. I mean, it’s definitely emotional, because you’re so right. And I talked about that often, we’re going through so much. It’s like we thought we were close to done with the major part of COVID. And then now there’s, you know, war in the world and a threats of it. It’s just, it just keeps layering on. Right. And yeah, so even if you don’t think it’s affecting you, subconsciously, we’re having to think about all these things, you know, or not think about it, but we’re still having to, it’s still there. Yeah, and I think it’s decision fatigue, too, because I see some of my girlfriends, you know, some evenings and they just seem so frazzled. And so whether it’s partly emotional, right, that have a lot of emotional baggage for that day or week, they’re, you know, they’re going through things. But it’s also like they live, you can just tell like they don’t need, they don’t want to think about another thing they have to figure out today, because they’ve just had to do too much. And they didn’t take a break. They didn’t rest.
And it’s very apparent when you see one, you know, one person who has done this one person that hasn’t and if they had the same going on, I mean, you and I can probably spot him from like a mile away at this point. Yeah. You know, I mean, I’m sure we all have our moments, but yes, people are there. So their concern? Yeah. And so what would you say? Any, any thoughts? I mean, I’m assuming you would say like, just how do we how do we make sure we’re, we are changing the oil in ourselves, right? Like, would you just say it’s the the nature and movement and journaling and like ritual type things?
Yeah, there’s a there’s another layer to this too, though, because you’re right about the day Today in the week to week, but let’s talk about the decade to decade now. Because when I went through my divorce Yeah, I was sad about that breakup. But if I took that off the table, I what it up rooted in me was my own love ability from childhood, my mom’s relationship stuff. So So where are we at? We think we’re reacting in the moment. But we’re reacting to 10 to 15 years worth of memories. And so if you want to, if you’re really interested in I love what you said, like you could spot them when people are side by side, if you can see who’s done the work and who hasn’t. And that’s not a make wrong, we I know, you know that. And I know your listeners know that. But it’s like, if you really want to get to the depth of like a new level of peace, a new baseline of operation, and not end up on the side road, then we need to start clearing the traumas, we need to start taking a look at what’s really sticky in our life, because anything we are manifesting in our adult reality is a communication of our subconscious beliefs. Right? So it’s the subconscious fears and beliefs and insecurities that are literally mirroring because it’s communicating to us, Hey, I’m unresolved in within you. And I’d really like to be resolved, like I’m ready to go now.
Most of our wounds are ready to be healed, but we’re just not addressing them. And you can empower the heck out of yourself by just deciding to take on some of that work.
Yeah, I mean, two things. Recently, one, when I had recently an interview, I think the data, the statistics that he shared, one of my guests said 40% of people have three or more childhood traumatic things that happen to them. Now, they may not even know right, I’m not saying every one of these are horrifying things, right. And things you’ve internalized in that are still impacting the way you see yourself in in your life and the narrative so vastly that I think that’s fascinating, because I don’t think a lot of people, I mean, I’m hearing a lot more people talk about doing healing work and about trauma and things nowadays, but I would say even five years ago, I wasn’t hearing this sort of stuff as much. So I definitely think we’re a lot more people are working on these things. And I think that’s fascinating, because I think it’s so important. You’re so right, because you’ve been a fine. And that’s everything I heard. It’s like a nature, if there’s something inside that has to get out of truth that needs to get out. So whether it’s healing work you need to do or whether it’s that you’re holding on to a truth you need to speak to someone or to yourself. It’s gonna keep trying to circumvent until it gets for till it comes forth. And it’s just like a river, it’s gonna find its way. So we can’t stop that truth from coming out eventually. And we’re normally we’re having physical, right ailments until we get that out until we address it. You will.
Yeah, I love that you use the river water always forces an outlet. And I also wanted to backtrack to what you said, because too many people have not been affirmed in this is like trauma is not a competition. Yeah. If that thing was lodged in your memory, or that’s the day that your brain developed, it doesn’t matter how traumatic or or like what we would qualify as traumatic, like a grotesque act or, you know, a heart being harmed. It could be that someone literally looked at you the wrong way with or with disapproval or that somebody snickered when you said something?
Or you answered the question wrong, right. And I would, again, I would love to give your listeners this is something that they can do immediately to do this work, is sit down in the mirror or sit down in the journal and say, so you you saw something and like you said, three to four major benchmarks in childhood, right? So you witnessed something, and then you you then concluded something about yourself about the world about people, and then you started compensating for it. So there’s three steps to this. What did you see? What did you conclude? And how do you compensate so if I saw my mom going to work all the time, and I concluded she likes work more than me, I’m an I concluded that I’m unlovable and then I compensated by becoming the perfect daughter, the perfect angel, the star student, the studded athlete. Right.
And I my entire identity was born from that for the first 25 years of my life, right? And then you’re like, Oh, good. Like we could peel those layers back and be like, Oh my God, I am not who I think I am. And it just like, unravels, but it’s a beautiful unraveling, because now we have this, like you said, people are so wound so tight because they’re trying to uphold some version of perfect and got it all together and adult, whatever, whatever we’re trying to uphold, but if we would let ourselves unravel, that’s why you see peace on those people because they’re not spending any time keeping anything together because we know we have no control. I’m gonna pass it back over because I can end up down a whole deep rabbit hole
Oh my gosh. Yeah, I mean, let me tell you, I, for most of my life, I didn’t realize, you know, some of the ways I was probably showing up in the world, because of, you know, my upbringing and not like you said, it was only, you know, I’m the fourth of five kids. I’m the first girl, but like, certain patterns, certain happening in your life, and you’re like, No, I’m the one that loves helping everyone. But I don’t really want to ask for help. Right, that kind of thing? Well, obviously, that was I internalized that when I was growing up, you know, whether it’s just five kids, and it’s like, Was there enough for me like, or somebody wasn’t available? Who knows? Right? But yeah, I was like, I’m independent. I’m fine. Right. But that’s, you know, I’m also obviously always the one that’s organizing everything right. You know, those are both patterns that have to do with, you know, childhood, and so they’re still on works in progress, right? Like, I’m still working on those things, you know, trying, like, whoa, hold on, am I just am I reverting back to something that’s been comfortable?
Because I’ve done it for so long, you know, and so I have to, I have to revisit that and realize, am I doing this? Because it really is what I want to do, or am I defaulting to this response or act? You know, like, Oh, I’m going to plan something, you know, instead of like, oh, do I really want to do that? Or is this really what I want? So, you know, it is definitely a work in progress, right? It’s a, I mean, you might have the initial kind of reflecting, understanding, doing the work and the healing. But then I think if we’ve done these things long enough, it takes time, you know, to be different, if you will.
Yeah, you’re because you’re deprogramming and reprogramming. And what’s what we were kind of back to the beginning of the conversation is like, not, it’s really important not to make any of those parts of us wrong, that some of those things you said, are probably some of your greatest gifts too. And like your strengths. And so it’s just the it’s not about the weight, what you’re doing, it’s about how you’re being, right. So you can do those same beautiful gifts. But if you’re, as long as you’re not doing them from like scarcity mindset, or fixing and changing and controlling, then then it’s probably still a great gift. And I think that’s where we can’t make the past versions of us wrong. That’s so important.
I so agree. And like you said, and we’re, it’s like anything, I mean, you just, it’s like a tree in nature, it’s gonna keep growing, right, it doesn’t stay stagnant. I mean, even if it has a season of stagnant, it’s still growing, it’s changing. We are to, you know, like you said, we’re just, it’s just versions of us that we are learning about ourselves. We’re learning about the world. We’re growing. We’re learning other information, hopefully. So I think that’s so good. Well, let me ask you, I do want to jump into, you have done, you know, a good amount of things. At this point, you have a podcast, you’ve written several books, and you know, also do publishing. And, you know, you coach people, your clarity coach, so tell us about, what does that look like? And if somebody’s wanting to step into something, you know, any just words of wisdom you have for them?
Yeah, thank you. So, um, I, the one major word of wisdom I want to start out with is you got to accept your gift, for the gift that it is. I am a gifted writer, I am gifted with words. And because it came second nature to me, I overlooked it. And I didn’t value it or price it even appropriately in the beginning of my career. And so I would love to encourage people to accept their what comes second nature to them is probably their gift and exactly where they can make a living. And so I’d love to offer that, especially build a life you love is like, do get paid to be you or be rewarded to be you get to like working should I believe I genuinely believe that our work should be as simple and natural as breathing. And so that is what that’s what I’m going to speak into. I have written nine books in the last five years. Three of them are published in my name, but I’m so gifted at writing that I wrote I helped other people. So I was a ghostwriter. And I helped other people write their books. And I’ve also coached a lot of people to write their books. And if someone first off, I think we can all baseline that everyone has a book in them, it’s just matter if they really want to write it or not. Or at least everybody has a story. And, you know, there’s the if if someone on here is listening and wants to get started writing a book. The first thing you got to start doing is journaling. It’s really that simple. Now you can computer journal, you can paper journal, you can audio journal, meeting voice notes or video notes to yourself, but it has to start coming out. Because the more you speak your truth the more you speak your story, the more it’s going to reveal itself to you and take shape. My books reveal themselves to me and then I am obligated to write them and put them like pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. And so I would love to offer That is like just start writing. And if a book is not for you, it’s like, really just start expressing your truth on any level if you want to be living the life you love, because I that’s actually something I’ve been saying for years and years and years as it’s something that I it’s kind of a tagline that I have it a lot of the end of my post is I’ll always be living my life I love or live the life you love. And because I genuinely believe that as long as you’re expressing as long as you’re creatively, energetically, socially, sexually, mentally, emotionally, spiritually expressed, then you’ll you will be living a life you love. So, expression is a big piece of that. And then something something else I’d like to share around like that career aspect, you know, there’s the writing. And then I’m also a podcaster. So that’s it’s the same thing, speak up, speak your truth, unlock your throat chakra. And so I love podcasting and love showing up on my air. I don’t know if we said it explicitly in the episode so far, but my areas of expertise are emotional intelligence, and subconscious reprogramming. I could talk about that all day long. And I’ve so much so that I built a career out of it, because it’s what I want to talk about. And so I think that for anybody really looking into their life to chase their dreams is what are you the most passionate about? And how can you monetize that? It’s not to put pressure on it on performance, but it’s how can you live into your truth in the most expressed way? Because you that would be you giving your gift to the world? Because then I again, I can’t stop talking about it. I’m so passionate. I’m so excited, because this is what I came here to do. I did not come here for other reasons. And there’s other people who are gifted at other things. And I believe that if we all followed our innate gifts, we would fill all the roles that Nature needs. And so I believe in that harmony.
Oh, yeah, that’s so good. And I actually speaking of throat chakras, I you know, I mean, I’m not sick. Often, my family isn’t sick often, but if ever I was, had high stress, like one time, I was going to this publicity summit event, you know, so you’re going to be meeting with reporters and all this stuff. This is years ago, right before I went, I hadn’t been sick. And I get laryngitis. Right, like so the only place I’ve ever been sick in my whole life practically. throat and sinus. Yeah, never below and never above. So it’s right there. Yeah, and, and I haven’t in a long time now. But But part of that was I probably wasn’t truly I didn’t feel I could speak speak about something, some things. But I mean, of course, I’ve I’ve, that’s not true. Now look at obviously, I have a podcast out speaking. But it’s just interesting how sometimes we don’t realize, you know, that me getting sick there. It’s like, if you if you pay attention to people, if you ever get sick, usually people get sick in the same way in the same area of their body. Right. But I mean, it is a signal, it’s a signal to us, you know, like, maybe you’re have something unresolved here something you’re not realizing that’s related to your spiritual, you know, or that kind of side. So, I only mentioned that because if someone’s like, I could never podcasts because I’m scared or I’m, it’s like, it’s okay. Like, if you have something a message to say you just find the, the platform reality in which to do it. So for some it’s going to be writing and for some, it’s going to be opening a shop, or just being a wonderful mom or starting a podcast, you know, whatever that thing is.
I love it. I love it. There’s so many expressions of our creativity anymore. In this day and age, it’s endless. It really is. It’s
quite amazing. And I try to tell my kids, you know, because they’re, they are high school and like, Oh, my God, you can really do anything. And I still don’t think they see it. But they’re not. They’re not living it like we are every day. You know, they’re still in school. And it’s kind of very structured still. Yeah, I mean, I know online, they see a lot of stuff, of course, because there’s all the social, you know, things, but I think it is it’s so promising for the future, I hope. And I guess that’s one thing I would ask you. So I want one thing I talk about sometimes is the future of work. And I think for 15 years, I’ve probably said this, but it’s more so true now than ever. And this is going to be strange. I know you’re gonna be like where’d this come from? But with the war machine learning more AI in some jobs will go away, which, you know, I think some people would be like, Well, how am I supposed to what am I supposed to do in the future? And I and I say you have to lean into what the gifts we were given which is our curiosity or creativity. And I just was curious, do you have anything to say about that? Because I think we we underplay those as such huge assets in all parts of our life.
Hmm that’s I love that question. In no not too left field for me because I think it’s perfect, but I want I love the question and I want to flip it on its head is like what am I supposed to do? Let’s let’s scratch that and ask Who am I supposed to be? What you’re supposed to do? will be very clear when you realize who you’re meant to be. Right. Because when it comes from doing, it’s really about performance, it’s very achieve, you know, and it’s not heart centered, it’s head centered. So we’re doing a lot of figuring a lot of calculating, we are very creative problem solvers, for sure. And that’s a brilliant aspect to so many of us, but let it come from the heart. And it’ll be so much more authentic, because, you know, goodness gracious, it would be so relieving for so many people if they follow their heart, because I know those people because I was one of them who felt like they were pushing that rock up a hill, or let’s, I mean, like, water up a hill, like trying to just make the impossible happen or banging your head on the same wall. And it’s, it’s exhausting. And so it’s just not coming from that heart centered place. And the one thing I wanted to say specifically about what you asked, like the future of work, we are such a resourceful species. And we will always adapt and recalibrate. And there’s a beautiful book the soul of money, which I think is brilliant. And she’s she’s she goes, I’m trying to think of the author, I just can’t at the moment, but she goes into tribal communities, to help them sustain their life in this developing world, in a way where modern society is starting to sort of take over and close in on on communities and again, tribes that are trying to maintain their original style of living. And so they need to be able to come up with water and the source the sources that they need. And she’s and so she says this about humanity, though, if we were to run out of fossil fuels, if we were to run out of all the oil or all the water, the freshwater, we are so resourceful, we will always come up with a solution. There is no such thing as running out. We that’s a narrative. So if you think jobs are running out, if you think opportunities are running out, if you think there’s no room for you, that is a narrative you’re running, and it’s not your fault, but you you have to become conscious and willing to reprogram that, because there is so much abundance available. It’s just unrecognizable. Yeah. So it’s it’s it’s new territory, for sure. And it’s, you know, the unfamiliar and then you got to look at your relationship with the unfamiliar and the unknown and heal that. Because from your heart, you have your guidance about how to survive in this world. That’s for sure. So good. Yeah,
that that reminded me of that movie that’s based on you know, a true story. I think it’s called the boy that harness the wind.
Oh, yes. Oh, I just got goosebumps. I love that movie. Yeah,
it was such a good movie. But the quick just if you haven’t seen it, and it’s worth seeing is I don’t was it in Africa? I can’t remember where it was, but it is some
some country. Yeah, some African
country where they have a very long drought, right. And so basically, they’re not able to grow anything. And I think they they get from the state or the country, you know, maybe some wheat or something, but they it gets stolen from them. So anyways, it’s their young son who’s I will say middle school, I don’t not really sure how old he is. Then he figures out a way to get them water from very far distance, but just enjoy it. Enjoy the game and talk and
and just using his, you know, like being super resourceful, being a creative problem solver, like what do I have around me he’s like, parts of a bicycle to be the power source like so. But this is the sort of thing all of us have available to us. But like you said, we, we get too comfortable being comfortable that we we don’t stretch ourselves in these creative ways. You know, and we really, this is the sort of thing we should be doing in schools and at home. But often we’re not, you know, not to the level we really don’t push ourselves as nearly as far as we could go with our with our resourcefulness. So I think that what you said was really poignant, and really important, actually. Cool.
Thank you. And I think, um, you know, it’s to our advantage, but also to our disadvantage that we’re growing up in such an advanced world, like, we have so many conveniences and luxuries, that it’s I would call like an underdeveloped muscle in our brain and our heart. Because there were other generations there. Our ancestors had to figure stuff out, had to build stuff had to create. And I love that story. I wish I knew. I remember I remember more of the details, like his location and stuff. But yeah, he Harnessed the Wind and the Sun to be able to move that water and it’s like, it’s fascinating. And then we just have water coming out of faucets. So we don’t even have to think about that sort of thing. So, and my one tip for that is you guys get out and travel the world. I’m here in Costa Rica and like I went to Mexico last year, that was the very awakening time for me to see people living a different way. Forgetting having to leave a lot of American luxuries behind you know, and so it’s just go on a mission trip, go out of the country go even even in our country. We, there are so many underprivileged underdeveloped places. And so it’s really possible. But if you get outside of your bubble, you’re gonna, it might really inspire that part of you that that really is going to tell you more about your future.
That’s so good. And actually, I visited Costa Rica a long time ago. I mean, it was just probably 20 years ago.
So but it’s so different.
That’s why I’m saying is back then it really was a lot different. You know what I mean enough, but it was amazing. So yeah, I think that’s, that’s good. And I think that’s really the thing, right, is we should shake it up, we should look to discover new things and have new experiences, whether that’s through meeting new people or going places that even places and people that maybe we feel that don’t seem like us, that might feel uncomfortable at first, but you you are going to miss out on so much if you’re not willing to just step a little bit out of your comfort zone regularly. Totally. Yeah, totally. So any last things you want to leave us with just wondering if that’s on your heart before we find out how people can connect with you online.
This is so it’s just been so great. I’m really experiencing like a sense of grant such a sense of gratitude. So just thank you, thank you to the listeners who are here today. And I want to like thank you for listening to us. But thank you for investing in yourself by listening to such a conversation. Right? Even if it feels like a stretch for you to live the life you love by by listening to things like this and reading the books that will stretch you or or taking signing up for the next program. I just acknowledge I acknowledge the listeners for being here with us as well because this is how it happens.
Oh, it does. Just keep feeding yourself keep feeding your soul. You know, I just read a quote I don’t I actually miss him. It’s on my phone. But it was it was just so
clear. But it was your mind will believe what you tell it repeatedly feed it hook feed it truth and feed it positivity, which we both so aligned with so I think that’s kind of a thing, right? Is if you feel down, you feel hopeless, you feel like maybe you’re in a rut, whatever, whatever it is. You just have to keep feeding yourself as much as you can throughout the day with these these things that are just good. Yes. Love it. So Abigail, tell us how can people connect with you online and learn about your podcasts, your books, your coaching and all that amazing stuff?
Yes, I’m gonna keep it real simple. Had to Abigail gazda.com. That’s if you find me there you find me everywhere. All the links are on there. Although we have lots of I heard some leashed is that as a transformation company, I have a team. So we are always hosting really great programs like book clubs, like personal development book clubs. And we have a purging workshop coming up, which is about you know, decluttering spring cleaning and, and so we’re always hosting something new. I love hosting little mini master classes and and then we have bigger programs like things that you can work with me on or just follow me. I’m gonna tell people Instagram is my favorite place to hang out. So I say Instagram is my love language. And I’m Instagram will like i n s t a Gail. And then otherwise, though, head to Abigail Gazda that come to surf around.
I love it. Well, thank you for being with us today. Thank you for sharing your heart. And thank you for just showing up in the world fully yourself. And just being that empathetic person that’s putting so much goodness out there.
Thank you so much. And thank you for having me. And I would love to encourage your listeners to come listen to the hearts English podcast to your episode.
All right, wonderful. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, so many great nuggets. In that episode with Abigail. I hope that you guys really listened and took that in. And I am going to wrap up some of the highlights from what we talked about. So grab a pen and a pad of paper in here we go. First, what is it you need to learn? What is it you’re good at, but if you learned the other side of it, you would just take off your business or life would take off. So as she gave an example, she was great at coaching, she’s gifted and writing and words, but she didn’t understand the business side of things. So she she got busy and she learned the business side of things so she could grow a business that supports her life and her her calling. Number two, we teach people how to treat us and how to relate to us. And as we grow and change, it’s okay we can really teach them and share with them how it is we need them to connect with us to you know, engage with us. Number three, are multifaceted developing beings. Allow yourself to remember the things you loved and bring those things back and allow yourself to change and grow and step into new things. And maybe some of the the old things are no longer serving you whether it’s beliefs or thoughts or the type of work you’re doing. Be okay with it as you grow and change. Next is we have to do the work to process our past. And so, as she mentioned a tough season There’s no way through, but through it, to process your requests and your trauma and your belief. And she gave us a great exercise as an example. As, as she mentioned, to us, trauma is not a competition. So get in front of your mirror or pull out your journal, and write down these three questions when you know, there’s something that you need to work through the first question, what did I see or hear, you know, maybe this is from childhood or from 10 years ago, or going through a divorce? Or an embarrassment? or trauma? What did I conclude? From the thing you hear, heard? Or saw? And then what? Or how did I compensate for it? So how did that thing you saw or felt or heard? How did it impact you, that you’ve been holding on to or maybe the way you’ve been interacting in your life in your relationships, or the way you’re showing up in the world? And then journaling that or think through that, and then use this exercise? Every time you need to do that work? And she said, let’s see, the next thing was, what is your emotional Intel? Endurance? That’s a word we definitely all need to know. So are you at the end of your, you know, your wit’s end, if you will. And, as you said, if we’ve gone through a hard season, maybe a decade, we may need to do more of the work I just mentioned, we’re if you’re having a tough day, we have to give ourselves more time and space to rest more time and space to be who were meant to be, instead of just pushing, pushing, pushing. Next, are you creating the life you truly desire? Or chasing what others said, matter? Right? And how do we how do we address that we think about what are our truest priorities, what truly would bring us happiness? And let’s deconstruct the things that aren’t working for us in our lives? And then next, focus on what I’m sorry, who am I supposed to be? Which is heart centered? Instead of what am I supposed to do? I think that’s so good. And then, as we wrap up, she mentioned, express your treat, speak up. And we can do this through writing through coaching through podcasting, you know, through speaking, but we all have a story to share or a book to write. And if we’re not already doing it, we need to figure out how to do that. How do we share our story, so that we can serve more people. And I love how she says this, except your gift for the gift it is it should be as simple and natural as breathing. And she also says we should be able to use our gift as the gift to the world, right?
These innate gifts are given and then how can we monetize it? The thing is, is that comes too easy to us, often it’s going to seem like play. So chase that work that feels so easy to do, but yet, you know people keep telling you that you’re so good at it. And I just want to wrap up and said keep writing, keep speaking or podcasting or coaching in some of us are doing all of those things. But just keep being encouraged in know that this community is here for you. We want to see you step out and grow and impact and grow your income. And part of how we’re going to do that is our tactical episodes where we’re going to talk about how we build traffic, how we build our authentic voices, and how we do things that will let us get more exposure. So until next time, have a beautiful week.