Transform Your Life with Truth: Break Free from Negative Self-Talk with Tracy Wainwright

Hey.

Hey, friends.

And welcome back to Faith Fueled Woman.

This is your host, Kristin.

Today I have a great guest interview.

We are going to talk about how we can see ourselves through God's eyes.

We're going to talk about how we can capture our thoughts and make sure that our thoughts and our actions are being obedient to Christ.

How we can stretch ourselves and how our curiosity and passions are at the center of how God uniquely made us.

We're going to talk about what it means to keep stepping into new things in our life.

And I can't wait to share this episode with you.

Welcome to Faith Fueled Woman, a podcast designed for Christian women eager to deepen their faith and shine God's light in every aspect of their lives.

Each week we'll delve into practical strategies, inspiring stories and biblical wisdom to equip you with the tools you need to navigate life's challenges and grow deeper in your faith.

From finding calm in the chaos, forming deep Christian friendships, to everyday ways to connect with God will cover it all.

Hi, I'm your host, Kristen.

I'm an encourager, a faith led entrepreneur, a mom and a wife.

Let's be encouraged in our everyday lives as we let our faith guide us, fuel us, and fill us with God's incredible peace, wisdom and joy in our lives.

Hi.

Today on the podcast, I would like to welcome our guest, Tracy Wainwright.

She's a writer, a speaker, editor and writing coach.

She's been writing and publishing for almost 20 years in a variety of genres and platforms.

She loves using the written and spoken word to share God's love and lessons with others and has a passion for flooding the market with great God glorifying books.

And I am excited to share this conversation with you because we're just going to talk about, you know, how God's moved in our lives.

We're going to talk about what it looks like to keep stepping into new things and we're going to talk about what it looks like when we all have thoughts or stories that get in our head and how we can overcome them with God's truth and so many other things.

So welcome Tracy, to the show.

Thanks so much, Kristin.

I'm grateful to be here.

Great.

So let me start off with just telling us a little bit about your journey and what life's look like and what's how it's led you to here.

Absolutely.

So of course the most important point in my life that kind of took me on a path that was unexpected was when I became a believer at 13.

So I wasn't Raised in a Christian home.

I know I spent summers with my grandparents, and they exposed my sister and I to the gospel, but there really just wasn't any solid, consistent exposure.

And I had.

It seems like such a random story, but two girls approached me in the hallway in middle school, you know, and they're like, hey.

And they shared the Gospel, handed me a tract.

And it was that night that I prayed to the Lord to believe in him and for forgiveness.

And so my journey started there, except that I had no discipleship, no way to get to church.

So I basically stayed stagnant until I was 19.

Now the Lord was working, which I was too immature to know.

The Lord was working out different things until I moved unexpectedly.

That was another curveball.

I had my plan and my path all carved out.

And the Lord, I tell people, shut every door that I tried to go through.

And so I went through the window and ended up moving and meeting a solid guy and started going to church.

And the Lord had put that desire in my heart because the Holy Spirit was in there.

And that's when he really began to grow me.

Which, of course, I had no idea when I was on that journey that I was.

Would take several unexpected turns.

You're talking about, you know, letting the Lord lead and how he kind of veers off of our path.

And I would say the next one was probably when we had our second child after that great, solid guy.

And I got married and just felt the call to be home.

Now, after seven years of school and tens of thousands of dollars in student loans, that definitely was not our plan, but we just felt it made sense for me to be home to raise our kids.

And so we started on that path.

And the next one, what?

Well, I guess right after that.

So I went from being a counselor, talking to people all day long.

And you'll see, I, you know, love to talk to people.

I was that kid that always had that comment or report cards to being home alone with.

I ended up doing childcare.

So four kids, two and under, every day, and missed that interaction and was just struggling.

So I started talking to paper.

I was not an English girl.

I didn't like essay test or research papers.

I was a math girl.

But the Lord just led me to start writing and then just open the door because I don't do anything halfway.

So started reading about writing and publishing and attending seminars and workshops and conferences and joining groups and really just diving in.

And then the next curveball was homeschooling.

I tell people I said that I wouldn't Homeschool enough, God was like, oh yeah, tell me again what you're not gonna do.

So for the last, I guess 17, 18 years, I've been mostly a stay at home mom with some small part time jobs here and there.

But writing, publishing, editing, because once you learn what quality writing is, it's hard not to see all the core writing that's out there.

And so I really wanted to help people, not just write, but really write well.

And so the last, most recent curveball was about a year and a half ago.

And I really felt the Lord leading me to coach people because I learned I wasn't just editing because I couldn't just, you know, correct this.

The comment goes here, this is, you've used this word too many times in this chapter kind of editing I was teaching.

This is quality writing.

Try to do this, build your characters this way.

Your plot's got holes here.

So even when I wasn't necessarily supposed to be developmentally editing, I ended up doing it.

And so the Lord took me on another path to start coaching people with a dream really to flood the market with quality God glorifying books because there's quality there.

There are really good Christian books out there.

And I like do a little happy dance every time I find one because I'm super excited.

But the self publishing world has changed the market because anybody can put anything out there and it doesn't have to be good or it may be called Christian, but it's not really meant to glorify God.

And so that's the dream that he's given me of late.

And so just kind of looking back and all the plans I had for myself and I'm a very much a planner, like things set in stone.

And the Lord has just been gracious in growing me through all of those U turns or pivots or you know, different directions that he's taken me in over the last, I'd say 20 to 30 years.

I love that.

Thank you for sharing that.

So I think the first thing I would ask you about that is as you sort of expanded, right, how you are able to work with people.

Not, I mean, of course you're doing your own writing and books and publishing, right?

Then as you've, you know, how people edit books and you've, you know, like you said you were kind of helping teaching them and now you're also coaching, what would you say?

How did you know that this is sort of God prompting you, you know, versus, you know, like, in other words, are you hesitant?

Did you just keep having A voice like tell us what that was like because I think a lot of us, it's times or seasons get stuck in the, I don't know, God or is this really God telling me it or.

Right.

So how.

What would you just tell us about that?

Like discernment and just going through these different evolutions, if you will.

Yeah, and that's a great question.

So even with writing, because I didn't see success, wasn't getting published books, I had like some magazine articles and different things like that throughout the years.

I would be like, oh this is not going the way I wanted it to go.

I'm not quote unquote successful.

And every single time the Lord would put a person or a message in my path that just confirmed the calling and or some encouragement or I would get that book contract, I would have really positive feedback about what I was writing and putting out there.

And kind of the same with coaching.

So I said I felt the calling about a year and a half ago and I was working on my own books and doing some freelance editing.

I also do some other freelance contract work and felt led to that.

But I really like, I never intended on self publishing or owning my own business because I'm like, I don't want to lead a business, I don't want to be the one in charge.

I don't want to do all the financial stuff, I don't want to keep track of records.

Like that's.

I love being a hybrid publisher because with my books with my publisher, you know, like they take care of all of that and I just get it edit back and I go over it and then return it and we go through the process and I don't have to work with the formatting and the COVID design and the marketing as much and all of that.

And so what I immediately did after family led to coach is looked for jobs editing.

So I really started digging into different websites with job listings and looking for that ideal part time at home editing job which they're out there.

And I did some upwork so some more freelance work and nothing was happening, nothing was happening.

Some perfect jobs, it just wasn't, it just wasn't coming to me.

And so after two or three months of that I said okay Lord, if I don't have a part time editing job because I really do love editing by the end of the year, then I'll do the coaching thing.

And of course so I was laying out my fleece saying okay Lord, make all the ground wet around the fleece and keep the fleece dry.

And that's what he did.

And so nothing came to fruition.

And so January 1st, I, you know, and I continued to pray about it all along the way because I have a tendency to jump into things very quickly without thinking through it.

And he's taught me that's not the best strategy, even when he's called me to something.

So perhaps I've overcorrected and been a little bit too hesitant to jump from there.

But January 1st, I was like, okay, Lord, this is, this is what I prayed.

I've brought it to you.

If you wanted me to have like a regular job that fit what I think my ideal job is, then you would have made that happen.

And so I started building my website, planning out my courses and getting all the logistics and then launched kind of mid year.

And it's interesting because when I got my first client and started working with him, I came away with just the hugest wow.

Because I'm like, I'm getting paid to talk to people a but to talk to them about Jesus and about writing and even healing.

Because when you're writing, especially your own story and you're trying to share the lessons that the Lord has given you, you're walking through those lessons, which we know tends to come with hard times.

And so getting to like talk about, like you throw homeschooling in there.

And that's like my four favorite things to talk about is we're transforming our thoughts, making sure that we're not listening to the enemy.

Because if we're serving the Lord, if our goal is to do something that really glorifies him, the enemy's going to attack us every time.

So really, I think Christian authors have a struggle that probably secular authors don't know.

Not that they don't face self doubt and roadblocks and writer's block and all that, but I think there's an added element to Christian authors.

And so that was just a huge confirmation that the Lord has called me to do this.

And it may not always look how I thought it would look, because he does that, but that this is absolutely the path that he has me on.

And then I had to have had to even dig deeper to learn to trust him with the outcome.

So, you know, I have my first client, but where's my next one and where's my next five?

And really looking at, okay, like it's, it's my job to do the work, but it's also my job to rely on him to bring the results.

And there's a phrase quote that Came across and it said, pray as if it all depends on him and work as if it all depends on you.

So I have to be diligent and I have to be focused and do the work.

But he is ultimately in charge of the results, and that's allowed me to work from more of a place of rest.

Then hustle is not bad, and there's times for hustle.

But also I can't make the results happen.

And being okay with that's huge for a type A Gen Xer.

Yes.

Oh, I absolutely relate with so much of that.

And, you know, just having the podcast and, you know, much like you, very different in some ways.

But I mean, like the content we're doing or, you know, maybe specific content or topics or think people with.

But, you know, whether I do, like a workbook or, you know, I've started.

I've done some, you know, started launching some courses, but it's still new in that sometimes I think, oh, I don't know, maybe this isn't quite right, so I'll tinker with it.

But even with the podcast numbers, I mean, the podcast is doing fine, it's doing well.

But I want to, you know, we all want to compare ourselves to something bigger and people that have much bigger platforms for 20 years, maybe in the faith space, which I wasn't in that space until just the last two or three years.

And so I have to be really careful.

To your point, which is, and I have to remind myself of this, is he is just calling me to show up and be consistent and try to bring these conversations, you know, out there and not the outcome isn't, you know, how many people listen, even though it's a fine number, I want to, you know, it's hard to not compare ourselves to the people that got 50 million downloads or whatever.

Right, Right.

So that's like.

I think we all struggle with that.

You know, it's the keeping up with the Joneses.

So whether it's.

Whether it's someone that has a business or a ministry or whether they're just running their home or they work in a job for someone else, all of those.

Sometimes we want to compare ourselves or think we're not far enough along.

But I have to keep reminding myself that, you know, God's calling me to.

He keeps preparing me.

He wants me just to be faithful and to keep showing up.

He's not asking me to get a certain outcome.

To your point, that's up to him.

It's not up to me.

Right.

And so I regularly have to remind myself of that.

And then I think he's moving me into other things.

But, you know, we have to be patient because we're not necessarily going to know what the thing is he's moving us into when he's still preparing us.

Exactly.

Yes.

I love it.

And I love just how gracious he is in revealing all of that and meeting us right where we are.

And I've said for a long time, and I kind of thought of it more as, you know, with sin.

Like, he meets us right where we are, but he loves us too much to leave us there because he knows the damage and the detriment of sinful choices.

But what I'm learning is also just in how we submit to him and how we rely on him and trust on Him.

Like, he meets my faith right where it is.

And then he takes me, you know, he's like, okay, I'm going to stretch you.

That was a word that someone said to me recently.

He's stretching you, but in all the good ways, so that I can then, you know, next week, next month, next year, be the person that he intends me to be, which is always a growth process.

And I, you know, thought about even just growing as a child.

We don't grow consistently as children.

You know, we have this huge growth spurt in the beginning, and then we kind of have a lull, and then another huge growth spurt and then a longer lull.

And then I have, I guess, three teenagers right now.

One that's in her 20s and one that's getting ready to embark.

But, you know, you then have that teenage.

And that's kind of how I feel.

Like every time I'm like, okay, Lord, we've taken care of that.

I've grown in this way.

Thank you so much.

I'm so glad you've matured me in this way.

And then there's like a lull, and then it's almost like he taps me on my shoulder and says, so now we're going to work on this, or now it's time to go deeper in this.

And I just love his grace in that where he does.

He meets us right where we are, but he never leaves us there because we'll never attain in this life.

I look forward to perfection one day.

I'm super excited about that.

But that in the meantime, he's in us and with us and working through us in ways that if we just, like you said, show up and we're faithful and obedient, then he works out sometimes the things in us, us that are Even more important than the things that he wants us to do.

Absolutely.

So two things that I want to talk about that I think will encourage some people when they hear this conversation is one, I talk about this sometimes, but I think it's important for us as Christians, especially Christian women, to know that things we're curious about, things we're interested in, things that we're passionate about or that we want to learn about.

I don't think that that's.

I think that's by design by God.

So I want to talk about that.

And then also I talk about just being present and in the moment, meaning that I think it's in our moments, in our everyday lives that sometimes that's the most important thing God has placed in our day.

And it's not necessarily the big thing, like recording this podcast episode.

Not that that's not important, but sometimes it's that I went and saw my dad, who struggles with health issues and helped him with something.

And so I often have to keep reminding myself that it's in the moments of me serving in my, you know, like, helping my.

My same.

Like, I have.

My youngest, just turned 18 this month.

So it's like in.

They're all home, so it's like helping them through something or just making them dinner and having a conversation, you know, helping my dad.

So whatever it is.

So what would you say to encouraging women?

That when we have interests or passions, curiosity, I think.

I mean, if it aligns.

But often God is prompting us, right?

It's those things that interest us, that he's going to have this intersection of our past and where he's preparing us for.

So what would you say about those two things?

Right.

So absolutely, it comes down to the uniqueness of how God makes each one of us.

And, you know, we see a lot of this in the New Testament, just with God talking about the body and the church, he gives everyone different gifts.

But I think we forget that that's interest.

Like, the things that interest my husband are so different than the things that interest me.

You know, he was reading a book recently and was like, such and such engineer and such and such engineer.

And I'm like.

Or architect.

And I'm like, I have no idea who you're talking about.

He's like, they're the top three architects in history.

And I'm like, sorry, that's not my world.

I mean, I can talk about, like, psychologists and my counseling theories and biblical scholars, but I can't talk to you about architects.

But that's an interest that the Lord has given him that has been very useful.

It coincides with his job.

But also, we built a house a few years ago, and he was able to design it and know to come back behind subcontractors and make sure things were done correctly and know the inner workings of a house and how all of that pieces together.

And that's never interesting.

I learned a lot.

I still don't care to repeat the process.

Whereas my interest is more in people and words and digging into, you know, what has hurt people and how can we bring healing.

And.

And so even though that's, you know, that's why I studied psychology in undergrad and counseling in grad school was because the Lord gave me those interests, not having a clue, right, what he would then do with me following those pursuits.

I've loved reading since I was a kid, not having a clue that he would one day call me to actually write books.

And so I think the Lord creates those things in us.

Now.

Sometimes they're just fun things.

I like trying new recipes.

He has not used that really very much yet, other than I encourage people to check into grinding their own wheat and using that because it's very powerful to our health.

But, you know, just those things that he brings us to, they sometimes I think are just gifts.

Like, it's just a gift, like, you can do this and you can enjoy it, and it's just a little bonus, you know, it's like the whipped cream on top of strawberries, because strawberries are great by themselves, but strawberries and whipped cream, or strawberries and chocolate, they're amazing.

And so I think our talent, talents and our interests and our gifts can be like that, that a lot of them he's going to use.

And I think of the parable of the talents where it was money, but in the English language, there's this great parallel to, the Lord has given this to you for a reason.

Now, whatever that reason might be.

So my youngest is interested in music and the first one to play piano.

And I just know the Lord will use that in some way, have no idea what that will look like.

She has an interest in drawing.

I'm like, the Lord's gonna use that in some way.

And so I think a lot of times we can maybe see it in others.

Our children, our spouses, our friends.

And they were like, man, I wish, like, you do not want to hear me sing.

I would clear a room in about five seconds flat.

But, yeah, he didn't give me that gift and that talent for a reason.

And so we forget to look at what God gave us in those interests, in those passions, in those abilities, in those gifts.

Like, he pieced it all together just how it is for a reason, so that he can use it for his kingdom and for our good.

And sometimes just so that we can have those bright spots in this world that is so broken and so fallen and sometimes so very hard.

And so I just think if we can look at those in ourselves and just trust.

If we haven't seen it, like the Lord hasn't used this yet, trust that he will.

I mean, I got my graduate degree in OH one.

I haven't done official counseling since, oh, five, you know, and now he's just now bringing it back around.

There's some ministries at church and even in my coaching other authors.

And I never could have imagined that.

And if I had just discarded all of what he's taught me, then I wouldn't be prepared for him to use that in the ways that he wants to use it.

Absolutely.

I agree with what you said.

And, you know, I think also sometimes when we're interested in something, even like recipes or baking or cooking, we may not use it as our profession, but I think it's the whole idea that being the, you know, I'm one of my.

And one of the ones in my friend group who's regularly inviting people.

Right.

In, inviting them in, having them over, meeting them, coordinating.

You know, I like cooking as well, but those are also things that not everyone's good at.

Not everyone is willing to invite people in or to gather people.

And so sometimes if those gifts are just allowing fellowship or they're allowing people to come around the table, right.

And to connect and to be present.

And so I think sometimes we.

We discard or we discredit some of the things we're doing in our lives or that we like doing or learning about.

Because it's not something huge, or at least we don't think it is.

Right.

I think it's.

It's just important to realize, like you, I really love reading Christian books.

You know, I mean, like, reading a lot of books.

Not all my friends flock to go read Christian books, right?

Christian authors, books by pastors, like.

So that's something unique to me in my friend group.

I mean, some of them read some of the books, but you know what I'm saying.

So once again, I've just always had that interest since I was probably a teenager, late teens, college.

So, you know, I just think that I wanted to encourage people and knowing that, you know, we should pursue those things Keep learning.

Follow those, you know, like you said, not just gifts and talents, which of course, those are important, but even the little.

Hey, I really would been interested in learning more about, you know, like you said, making more food from scratch or whatever the thing is, because often there is a payoff to it, like nourishing your body's better or whatever it might be.

And so I think I would just encourage women to, you know, keep pursuing the things that you're interested in, you're curious about as well.

Well, and if I could just, yeah, jump in and something you said.

And I'm a.

I'm a big thing person.

I love events, I love parties, I love, you know, conferences, all of that.

And.

But really, 90, 95% of life is the everyday.

That's right.

And so the baking for me is not an everyday thing, but it's an everyday thing in that I put it into my routine on a regular basis.

And it is ministering to my family.

It's.

It's teaching my kids.

It's really saying, hey, this is important.

You know, we got chickens last year and that's very much an everyday thing.

I let them out every day.

I make sure the doors closed every day.

I gather the eggs almost every day.

But that's something the Lord led me to that was pretty unexpected.

It's a very small, everyday thing, but it's one more way to minister to my family.

Sometimes minister to neighbors who are looking for that and don't want all the work.

But yes, just to remember that, you know, and I did use my counseling with my kids.

It made me a better mom.

So I kind of always thought, like, even if it just makes me a better moment, then it was worth all those years and all that investment and time and money just to make me a better mom, make me more patient, make me understand.

Oh, they're not lashing out because they're really angry at me.

They're having a hard time with something else and I'm safe.

So it's.

It's easy to overlook those everyday things because we like the big and the eventful and.

But yeah, usually, you know, most of that stuff is every day and just as important.

Inviting people to coffee, taking them a meal, just loving on people.

And the Lord gives us all gifts to do that in different ways.

And I think we do discount that a lot of times, but I think a lot of times that's even more important than the big things.

Absolutely.

Well, and this, you know, everyone may not agree with what I'm about to say, but that's okay.

I think it's important.

Now, obviously, you know, we're called to, you know, share, you know, about God's word, about Jesus.

And of course, I agree with that.

But the part that I think sometimes is tricky is that sometimes, you know, some people think, oh, we should share with everybody all the time.

But what I found is that being very.

Just showing up and trying to in most cases, be, you know, the best I can in my life at that moment doesn't mean I don't fail miserably a lot of times.

But over time, a door opens, an opportunity for a conversation opens.

But often it's weeks or months from when I first met someone or I've known them for a long time, and then it presents itself.

And so I guess I've found that being a little slower to try to push my beliefs unless someone asks or unless the conversation.

The doors opened a bit, it cracks open more.

And then I've had some really wonderful, deep conversations with people instead of trying to push it too quickly.

So I was just curious from your perspective, and I'm not saying we all have to agree with that because, of course, there's different schools of thought on that a little bit.

So I was just curious what you found with that.

Yeah, well.

And I think that's one of the areas.

It really comes down to discernment from the Holy Spirit, but also how the Lord has gifted us in different ways.

Because there's been street preachers that I've listened to, and I'm like, they're very bold.

There's a often very confrontative.

That's not how the Lord made me.

It's not how he called me.

But they're changing lives.

Like, there are people that the Lord is putting in their path that are ready to hear the truth of the gospel, and that's what they needed to hear it.

Then there are other people who, for whatever reason, need that gentler, let me just love on you.

There are so many people in our lives who know what we believe, and they know faith is our foundation.

And we bring up the Lord and what he's done when we can.

But a lot of times our job is just to love on them and to be witness.

Now, I think we do at some point have to make that witness verbally because we can share most of the gospel through how we live, but you can't share the details of the gospel through how we live.

So I think, again, it's just boils down to how did God make us?

What people?

Is he putting in our path.

And then there are some times where the Holy Spirit leads, where you do need that more bold, confrontative presentation.

And I think that's, you know, such an important lesson to lean on the Holy Spirit for guidance in those things and again, ask him to do the work.

It.

I'm not ashamed of the gospel, but it is the gospel that changes lives and transforms people into salvation and into God's family.

It's not, did I say it right?

Or.

And I think that's what people hesitate.

Am I going to say the right things?

Am I going to present it right?

Well, if somebody's heart's ready and the Holy Spirit is working on them and they're ready to accept.

Like I've heard people tell testimonies, like, I gave the worst gospel presentation ever.

And this person came to faith, you know, because it's the Holy Spirit.

And I think.

But we have to rely on him.

Yeah.

To know how and how to love people well.

And that's, I think, something that the Lord is constantly growing me in because we take our experiences, our baggage, you know, the different things that, you know, hurt us or built us up or tore us down or whatever, and we love out of that brokenness.

And so we're not always the best at loving people.

And so one of my statements that I have started rehearsing and writing down on an almost daily basis is I love people like Jesus.

Now, I think a lot of people have a misconstrued understanding of what that means because they're like, oh, Jesus was gentle and kind and loving.

And I'm like, I don't think you've read the Gospels.

I'm thinking you haven't read his words because he was.

But he was also at times, confrontative and bold and, you know, and so I want.

And he loved by guidance of the Father and really spending that time in his earthly body in such close fellowship with the Father that now he also had divine.

You know, being knew what people's thoughts were.

Which sometimes I'm like, that would be helpful.

And the Lord's like, no, you really don't want to know what other people's thoughts are.

No, I probably.

But just.

Yeah.

Just discerning what that love looks like and how we best just have that balance between the boldness and the gentleness of presenting the gospel and then allowing the gospel to do the work.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

I mean, daily, you know, more than daily, but definitely in the mornings, you know, I'm definitely welcome the Holy Spirit into my day because like you said, I You know, we do need that divine, you know, promptings and, you know, like you said what words to say.

I mean, even sometimes when I'm recording the podcast, I'm like, I didn't know I was gonna say that.

Right.

Like, it just, like I start it with an intention and maybe I have some scripture and things written down, but then I'll be like, wow, I just talked for 12 minutes and it just kind of came.

Right.

So I'm like, yes, it just came out of me.

Right.

And so I'm sure the Holy Spirit was guiding me into what I'm thinking or what I'm about to say to some extent.

And so I absolutely agree with what you said.

And I think you said it so well right about sometimes, yes, we do need to be bold, and other times we need to be gentle or, you know, let our.

Let things simmer a little bit longer with certain people.

I absolutely think you're right.

It's different.

People are called to, you know, whether they're ministering or preaching or speaking about the gospel, because.

Absolutely.

I follow so many people that are doing missionary work or they're like you said, they're going to cities.

They're going and they're doing big revivals.

And that's amazing.

It's so needed.

It's just that I haven't been called specifically to do that as the front person in that way.

Right.

I mean, I don't mean through this.

I'm not doing some of that, but.

But right.

So to your point, we're all called to show up differently, you know, just like the hands and feet, you know, of a church.

So I love metaphors.

I'm a very concrete thinker.

So if I can come, you know, find go, oh, this, this comparison to that.

And I think especially with those of us who are more concrete thinkers, it's helpful.

So as you were talking, I'm like, you know, there's a lot of cuts of beef.

So the last few years we've been actually ordering like half a cow, quarter cow, doing the whole grass fed thing.

So we've had meats that we're not used to, but, you know, like hamburger, five minutes, it's browned, it's ready to go, you know that it's ready for your taco seasoning or to turn into spaghetti.

Your steak, you need to marinate it for a little while, but it really doesn't take long to cook.

And then like beef tips or Swiss steak that uses cube steak.

Like, you've got to cook that meat for two or three hours.

And so I think, you know, how God made us and how he brings people to us and makes those relationships.

Like, some people, you can just throw the hamburger in the pan and grind it up and cook it, and they're ready to go.

Sometimes you got to marinate it for a little while, and then they're ready to go.

And then others, it just takes.

I love that word, the simmering.

And I could.

I made beef tips last night, so I'm like, oh, yeah, the beef tips.

I had to simmer them for, like, three hours when they were ready to eat.

And so hopefully that can help.

People just have.

Have a picture in their mind of there's not one way.

Right.

And he gifts us perfectly to present the gospel in the way that the people he will bring across our path need it.

Absolutely.

I love that.

And yeah, I mean, that analogy I probably would have given, it would be more like in gardening, you know, So I have a backyard garden.

And so, you know, some things produce vegetables that you can eat in within 30 days.

Right.

Or less having the babies.

Others, like asparagus, take two years or longer, you know, or some other vegetables, several years for your fruit trees.

Right?

To produce.

Yep.

So it's very similar that, to your point, there's a season for everything, and some things are quick to produce and other things are beginning.

Right.

They're.

They're.

They're working.

They're being worked on to produce, but it takes longer.

And so.

That's.

Right.

I think that was so well said, and I love the example you gave, so thank you for that.

Absolutely.

And I love the vegetable garden, because that's another picture that a lot of people can understand.

Right.

So let me ask you this.

Let's jump over to, you know, our thoughts, you know, because I think almost every human, you know, obviously more of my audience is women, and we, you know, we can relate to that more.

We often struggle with stories, you know, or lies, things that we happen in our past.

It can be trauma.

It could be beliefs we have about ourselves or about the world, you know, or just thoughts.

Right.

It's easy to let negative thoughts or untrue thoughts kind of seep in.

And so why don't we talk about that?

How can we capture those?

How can we replace them with God's word, you know?

So what has that looked like for you?

Yeah, definitely been a slow but consistent transformation.

So I actually have a book called the Transformed Mind, and it's a little book.

It just talks about, like, we have to be aware of our Thoughts we have to, to, you know, replace them.

We have to make sure that what we're thinking is based on the word of God.

And just recently I caught myself back in one of those negative loops and there were extenuating circumstances and other things that were going on.

But what I had not done was stay intentionally aware of my thoughts.

Like really on a daily, weekly basis.

Go, what am I thinking?

How am I thinking?

And is this in alignment with scripture and what God says about me?

And there was a wake up moment that I had in the next day and he had been working, I had been pouring some good stuff in.

And so I think that's part of it too, to constantly be pouring in.

I mean, I've been doing a chronological Bible in a year.

That's taken me a year and a half.

But also just listen to some good Bible based.

Just be aware of our thoughts, be aware of how we're thinking.

Be aware.

It's, it's time to dig deeper and, and really get those things up by the roots.

Talking about gardening and so I think we can tend to just get into a routine.

Yeah.

And that we just put cruise control or autopilot on and we do our daily things.

And even we know we're doing our devotional, we're cooking meals, we're cleaning house, we're pursuing careers, we're reaching for things, we're loving on our family.

And we can get so much in the routine that we don't realize when those things sneak in.

And I think especially when you're stepping into God's calling boldly, whether it's just, I need to be a stay at home mom, I need to focus on my kids, I need to homeschool, I need to make sure that I am loving my husband well when he comes home, even if it's those daily things or if it's a bigger thing.

And when we're not paying attention, when we don't have our shield up, the enemy is going to really be attacking us with those darts.

And he knows where our weaknesses are because we tend to tell him and we tend to say them out loud.

And so the Lord just really was like, tracy, you are not paying attention to your thoughts.

That's how you got in this pit.

That's why you're in this negative spiral.

But there's a very simple solution.

You take those thoughts captive, you become aware of them, you pay attention to them, you take them captive.

And then in order to make them obedient to me, you replace them with my word.

Yes.

And so for me, I needed to make that very concrete.

So I have, and I'm gonna finagle just a little bit here.

Actually brought it up here with me because I was going to spend my extra minutes before the podcast.

So I have been for about two months now, almost every day, not quite every day, writing.

And I don't know how many of this.

Maybe about 20 statements based on Scripture.

And this isn't how it began.

It began with maybe 10, and it's grown over the last couple of months.

But things like, I love people like Jesus, I'm not there yet.

That is who I want to be and who Christ says I can become in Him.

I am joyful.

Even when I was still kind of in that pit of depression, I'm like, okay, this isn't true yet, Lord, but by the Holy Spirit and my faithfulness, I can be joyful.

I am patient in tribulation.

I am abundantly successful in business.

I am diligent, and thus my soul is richly rewarded.

And just being very intentional about speaking the truth to myself, because so often we speak either lies or things that other people said or even, you know, I was always like, well, this isn't true yet, so I can't say it.

And what I learned was, no, I need to speak this to myself, because I'm perimenopausal and grumpy is not who I want to be.

But every time I speak that, I'm reinforcing.

That's who I am.

And so I want to break that cycle and break the enemy's hold over keeping me from the abundant life of the fruit of the Spirit through giving into that because it's practical or reality or, you know, I'm just.

That's the way it is.

No, the power of the Holy Spirit, the word of God transforms.

It cuts us to the marrow of our bones, and it pulls out all the gunk and transforms us to him.

So for me, I have learned to make it very concrete.

I put it in writing.

I was challenged recently to say it to myself in the mirror.

I haven't quite gotten there yet.

I'm still working on that one.

And I'm like, but who cares if I'm in my bathroom by myself?

Everybody's asleep or gone to work.

Like, who is there to make fun of me?

Or who is there to judge?

That's right.

Which shouldn't matter anyway, because one of my statements is, I seek the approval of God and not of man.

Yes.

So, but he's working that right now through me in a Very concrete way.

Yeah.

And I think that's so powerful because we are constantly bombarded from the world, from our memories, even from people in our lives that just have bad days themselves, these negative messages.

And I'm like, nope.

We are physically taking those captives.

We're making them obedient to Christ by writing out his truths about me.

And it says by God's grace.

Grace.

Because it's.

By his grace, am I becoming that person that he created me to be?

Absolutely.

You said that so well.

Yeah, I mean, I think I'll just reinforce that.

You know, I've regularly talked about journaling.

You know, of course I prayer journal.

But then also, if you're finding that you're frustrated in your day lot, there's some negativity.

You keep.

The same type of themes keep coming up in your life.

Right.

You need to be writing those out each day.

Because if you go back over a week or two weeks when you find the same thoughts, the same patterns are happening in your life, like, my boss is driving me crazy, like every day.

Then often there's something there, right, for you to address or for you to write out something that, like, is really true or are you allowing yourself, whatever, right, to get irritated or to make a bigger deal of something.

And so I think journaling what's going on for our day, just take 5 minutes, 10 minutes, and start seeing what are these thoughts you keep saying about yourself?

What are the thoughts you keep saying about your spouse in your head?

What are the thoughts?

Whatever it is.

And like you said, then write down, like, what is actually true, not what do you keep on repeat.

And then I think the next thing is when you spoke to this.

But I find that even capturing the thought as soon as I have it.

So let's say I had a negative thought or like a worrisome thought in my mind.

But I know it's like so not realistic.

It's just I'm letting a not nice thought in there, you know, about.

Maybe I'm worried about my kids, whatever it might be.

But I'm like, no.

And I have to say in my mind, like, God, take this away.

Take this way.

I know this isn't true.

I know it's, you know, it's Satan or whatever it's.

It's trying to plant the seed and get me so focused and kind of upset about a what if that isn't happening in my life.

And so I have to just immediately capture it and say, God, I need to take this away.

Like, I know you wouldn't put this thought in my head, and usually I'm able to kind of release it because I, you know, speak to that.

And then I think the third thing you said about trying to say those same promises or truth from God's word, saying them out loud.

Right.

We.

I'm sure many of us have heard that, speaking things aloud, whether that's prayer sometimes, I'm not saying.

I always say my prayers out loud.

It gives even more power, you know, to what we're saying.

You know, it's not just praying it in our mind.

Of course, writing it has power, but then speaking out loud.

Right.

Just like they say to, you know, cast out anything that's not of God from our homes.

Right.

You don't usually.

I mean, you might say it quietly, but a lot of times it's like you're.

You're praying over your home by saying it aloud.

And so I would just add that as well to what you said.

But I think what you said about trying to say it out loud to reinforce those thoughts, to get it in your head is so important.

Right, Right.

Because we forget we're speaking to ourselves.

I mean, we know that the things that were said to us, especially those things said in childhood, it's amazing to me, the things that stick, you know, and it's typically the negative things.

I was having a conversation with friends recently and just talking about something silly about, like, what we wear.

And, oh, gosh, I only remember, like, if I wore that yesterday or last week.

And I'm like, no, I have a system for that.

And it all stems from one snide comment that was made when I was in high school.

And they're.

They were, like, amazed or like, you like.

Like, pattern your clothes and have them organized.

I'm like, it's not that hard.

I'm like, but this became important to me.

But here's the root of it.

And we.

That's why we want to work on our own mouths with other people.

We know we can say things to other people that impact them.

We can lift them up.

We can encourage them, we can confront them, we can teach them.

And we forget that we can encourage ourselves and lift up ourselves and teach ourselves, like I'm teaching myself and my brain, that these are the things that are becoming true by the grace of the Holy Spirit and the power of the Holy Spirit.

And we forget that there is power in words.

And I think it's because it's such a mystery.

Like, we.

We don't understand it, so we kind of shrink back and we hesitate from it but we know words have power with other people, so why would they also have power with ourselves?

100 really good book about that topic is by Mark Patterson, who's a pastor in dc.

I don't know if you know who he is, but one of his newer books called Please, Sorry, thanks or some order like that.

But I mean it starts out by saying, you know, our words have power just like abracadabra and what abracadabra actually means and I forget exactly.

But I think it basically means like this, this should have life or something.

But it but it's tied actually more back to God's Word.

And so, you know, I just, I think you're so right is sometimes we forget the power that our words have both on us and then in our lives and into lives of other people.

So important.

Okay, so let me ask you this as we start, you know, wrapping up this episode, what just words of encouragement might you have for the listeners that are listening to this episode that you'd like to share with them?

So I'll start with my favorite verse and it's Philippians 1:6.

And it's he who began a good work in you will finish it unto completion on the day of Christ.

And, and again there's that yes, we have a part, we have action to take, but the Lord's the one who is doing the work and he's the one that will bring it to completion.

So we don't have to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps.

We don't have to hustle harder.

We don't have to work harder to become that woman that he created us to be.

We follow him, obey him, submit to him.

And in that obeying, yes, we we take our thoughts captive, but just to it's not one more thing to do.

Because I think especially as women, when we hear good advice or good suggestions, it's one more thing to put on our to do list.

Oh no, now I have to journal.

Now I have to have I statements.

Now I have to talk to myself in the mirror.

And instead we can even reframe that.

So, so what is the Lord speaking to you?

Where are you and what do you need to grow as the Lord is calling you, but it's by his spirit and his work.

And so I have to remind myself of that so very often.

That and you know the I call it the sister verse.

You know, it is the Lord who works in you to do and will and, and follow that.

And I'm butchering the verse very badly, but it's The Lord that does the work.

And then the other thing is, is just praise and thanksgiving and rejoicing.

It is so powerful to us.

If you can do nothing else, at the end of the day, you can say, lord, thank you for today.

Thank you for the food that you provided.

Thank you that my children are here, that my husband is here, that I have a job.

Thank you people who get in places where they don't have those things, they are alone, they don't have a job and a husband and kids at home.

Thank you, Lord.

You gave me breath.

Thank you for the cashier at the grocery store.

You brought me to their path.

Thank you that I have access to your word.

Thank you that your holy Spirit is dwelling within me and that you have done everything that I need and have everything that I need.

And so I.

I think that gratitude, if you don't, if you're not ready for the I statements, if you're not ready to talk to yourself, ask the Lord to bring that back to your mind when you are ready.

But just he's doing the work.

And then we praise him.

Praise him for what he hasn't done yet.

Because in his perspective, it's done like, he's got all of, you know, eternity past and eternity future that he already knows.

And he doesn't live on a timeline.

So just because we haven't seen it come to fruition yet doesn't mean that he's not working in ways that we can't see and don't know.

So I often try, like, Lord, just thank you.

Thank you for how you're working in my children that I can't see.

Thank you for how you're working and other family members and friends that I can't.

Thank you for how you're working in me that I can't see.

And so that would be the two things.

Know that the Lord is doing the work and just praise him.

Absolutely.

I love that.

Yeah.

And I've talked about this before, but I, you know, talk about having a micro gratitude and thank thankfulness practice.

Because throughout the whole day, I just.

Have a dialogue going.

So whether I'm on my walk and just.

So it's.

It's a noticing.

Right.

In a awareness.

Of course I'm thanking him for many of the things you said.

But then I'm also thinking for, like, after I pray, you know, to eat, then I'm just praying for, like, oh, my gosh, thank you.

That, like, the basil aioli on my sandwich is, like, amazing.

Like, how did you come up with these flavors like, you know, so I'm just having like the small things, but then of course the bigger things too, and definitely the future things, you know, which I have to work harder for.

Those, you know, like when I'm writing down and, you know, I don't do it every day, I go through phases where I write in a prayer journal, you know, and then write down scripture.

And then I have days where I, I might forget that I did a devotional, but I didn't necessarily take the time to write everything down.

Right.

When I do, I have to remind myself, like, thank him for what?

I know he's working in my life, but it's not come to fruition yet.

Like, I have to work a little harder to write those down and remind myself not to be thankful for what I have today and in the past, what I know he's bringing, you know, he's promising me or he's moving to in the future as well.

So I love, I love what you shared there.

So let me ask you this last question.

Question.

What's fueling, fueling you up in this season?

Oh, fueling me up in this season.

I.

I think just really making a connection.

Consistent morning, quiet time now in my life right now.

Sometimes that's 2:00 in the morning, 3:00 in the morning, 5:00 in the morning, which I used to lament.

Lament, boy, when I came across that proverb that says, he who loves sleep will grow poorer, I'm like, oh, that's really painful.

But the Lord has really just called me to consistently be in his word, consistently spend that time with Him.

I'm not really good at the hour of prayer, even though I have the time in the morning.

I'm much better at the few minutes in the morning and then that throughout the day conversation.

So I think really learning to rely on him, but also learning to embrace those he brings in my life that are speaking truth to me, that are encouraging me, and then honestly learning to look at.

How can I not just give.

Because I think a lot of us, especially Christian women, that's natural.

But how can I really pour into other people and give value without expecting anything in return?

Because I'm trusting the Lord for the return and, and really I have to fill up on him to do that.

Yeah.

But filling up on him and then pouring that out on others has brought me a joy and it's not draining me because I'm doing it in the ways that he's called me to do and from a place of, you know, Meeting him and peace and filling up on him and wrath.

And so, yeah, just.

Just making sure he's the center.

I keep recentering him because I, like many of us, are very distractible.

Yeah.

And then pouring out in the ways he's called me to pour out because then it doesn't empty my cup.

Absolutely.

I love it.

Thank you for sharing that.

All right, Tracy, can you tell us where can people connect with you online and go to your website if they want to learn more about your books and your coaching and all those good things?

Absolutely.

So I do have a website, very simple.

Tracy Wainwright.com and then for my coaching, it is the ChristianWritingCoach.net and so I have the information about writing and courses and connecting with me to work on that.

I am on Facebook, so I have my author Tracy Wainwright page.

And then I also have Kingdom writers group.

So if anybody's interested in learning more about writing or the writing journey or they have a story or a message that God's placed on their heart, I would love to meet with them there.

I'm on insta.

Tracy writes the number four him.

And I'm in a few other places, but once you find me in those places, you'll find all of the links and all my books are on Amazon.

I don't.

I don't know if I said that in my head or out loud because sometimes it comes out the mouth and sometimes it's just in the head and I think that's right.

So, yeah.

So all the places.

Wonderful.

Well, thank you for taking the time to join us today.

Thank you for sharing your encouragement and just, you know, keep pointing us to our relationship with God and to being a Christ follower.

So thank you so much.

Absolutely.

Thank you, Kristen.

It's been an absolute pleasure.

Thank you.

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