Here is the full episode transcribed:

build_a_life_You_Love_Episode_Anna_Orenstein_Cardona

Wed, 5/19 4:34PM • 34:57

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

money, financial, people, trading floor, finances, clients, thought, women, love, important, literally, business, uk, trading, job, emergency fund, financially, realize, understand, children

00:00

Here’s what I want to ask you. What is holding you back? What is the thing that’s holding you back from going after your dreams and from finding meaningful work you love? Aren’t you ready to wake up to the possibilities that are in your life and go after the things you’ve dreamt up? It’s time for you to feel alive again lit up, and for you to know that you’re deserving, and you are worthy for the future that’s waiting for you. I want you to feel fulfilled and find abundance in your life. I think it’s time and I’m ready to help you get started. Now, I’m your host, Kristen, of building a life you love. And each week on the show, we’re going to help you figure out how you do go after your dreams and find what you love. Here we go. Let’s get started. On today’s episode, I can’t wait to talk about money. Because here is the thing while Money makes the world go round. We have to understand how to use it, how to be able to grow it and how to make it work for us. And I’m so excited because on today’s episode we talk to a financial educator is amazing. She literally helps us be empowered to roll our money and make our finances grow for us. So let’s get started and figure out how we make that money grow. Hi, today I’d like to welcome to the show Anna Orenstein Cardona. Welcome, Anna. Hi, thank you for having me. Thanks. Anna is a certified financial educator, and she was born and raised in Puerto Rico, where she grew up in a multicultural home, where although money was tight, love was plentiful. From a young age, she was constantly coming up with inventive ways to raise and save money, and received her Bachelor of Science degree in brain and cognitive sciences from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology MIT. And for the past 21 years, she has worked on the trading floors of various large financial institutions, both on Wall Street in the City of London. A fun fact is that in 2016, she was asked to advise Colin Firth in the trading scene from born equal a television film directed by Dominic savage for the BBC. Aside from her day job, Anna is an NF EC certified financial educator and coach who is passionate about closing the gap in financial literacy She recently founded where your money crown to empower others with the knowledge and tools to make smarter financial decisions, align their financial behaviors with personal goals and take actionable steps to rule their finances and is also board member of the MIT club for Great Britain is actively involved in various charities. Okay, and I would love it if you could share with our listeners a little bit more about your background and your backstory because it is so interesting. All this many things you’ve done. Well, thank you so much, Kristen. So my background? Well, you know, it’s funny how you start on a journey in life. And then you find a fork in the road, and you travel the road, less expected. So my background is I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, as mentioned, and I grew up wanting to be actually a veterinarian. I’m a huge animal, lover and advocate. And I started to think about, okay, well, I need to get really good grades to go to vet school, because there’s one in Puerto Rico, you got to go to the US. And so through that journey, even when I was young, in high school, I was very lucky, I got some special scholarship to go to the US and study at CSU, which is Colorado State University. And I realized I’m not apt to being a veterinarian, because I’m too emotional.

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I said, I know what I’m going to look after humans. And that’s what took me to MIT I started with I started with a degree in biology and I ended up changing some brain and cognitive sciences with a minor in neuroscience because it just was so fascinated about the brain. And then I did my pre med requirements for that. But then I realized to go to medical school, you need a lot of money. And you know, there’s two roads about it. Either you come from a family who can help you to do that, or you have to incur a lot of student loans. And I already have student loans for my undergraduate degree. And so my 20 year old self that I know what I’m going to go work in New York for a year or two and then save some money and go to medical school and I literally applied to one job like this so crazy thinking about you know, from an adult you go what you should have applied to 10 or 20. I applied to one job. On the trading floor of this large It was like a boutique but also large financial company called dlj. Donaldson, Lufkin and generous and it was to work on the trading floor. And I remember I didn’t own a suit, I had to go cry on my credit card, get my first suit board the bus from Boston to New York City. And there I was a deal j Let me think I was 21 by that time, and you know, I go into a room full of old men reading the Wall Street Journal and whatever. And I was like, Oh my god, I’m never gonna get this job. And in the interview, literally, when they saw my background, all they wanted to know was about my research. And I was doing research on Alzheimer’s at the time and so

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They hired me, which is so crazy. And that’s where I started my career. Yes. So then I was there for 18 months. And what happened is they merged, they were actually bought, although they said it was a merger by a very large European Bank called Credit Suisse. And so they gave me the opportunity as a young person who is bilingual to come to London and cover Spanish investors in fixing them, you know, again, I was by then 22. And I was like, absolutely, you know, when is someone going to pay me to go to another country.

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But you know, what’s really interesting, Chris, and now thinking about it is the following. I haven’t thought about this a long time actually just talking about the story. And it made me think about it. When I first was offered the job. It was my salary transferred two pounds, right, which is the UK currency, Sterling. And I and nothing else. And I remember sitting there. And during my calculation, as I said, I will go into debt, if I accept that job on those terms. And I, you know, literally filled myself with confidence. And the next day, I went to bless him, Tom guba, who was the head of all 16 Comm. And I said, Tom, I want to take this job, but I can’t afford it. And I haven’t thought about that in a long time. And that was the first real time where I negotiated as young woman to say, I need this kind of certain salary. And I need my housing covered, because the housing in the UK is very expensive, right? And, and, and then he’s like, All right, I’ll get that sorted. And I was like, because if you ask, sometimes it’s all about asking, isn’t it? And so, I asked them, they said, Yes. And that’s how I came to London. So that was in 2000, just after just before the tech bubble exploded, so I came to London. And that’s what got me into the world of let’s say, the European side of investments, because I have been doing for 18 months, the US side. And to be honest, the US being the largest economy in the world leads investments globally. But it was so interesting, getting the European perspective and also working with clients from another country. And so from there on, so I started covering Spanish investors, and I traded with them for their funds, I always covered very large investors, asset managers, pension funds, banks, and then I moved on to cover UK investors. And that’s what I’ve been doing all this time. And so I wouldn’t say it’s good. It probably started around more like seven years ago, something in me, I always felt like the misfit on the trading floor. I felt like you know, I do love numbers. And I do love the environment, you know, phones ringing, trading, shouting, I love that kind of energy. But at the same time, I’m a very creative soul in my heart, I love writing. And so I thought to myself, Oh, I’m going to go to night school and study creative writing. So I started that I went to Faber is a very well known publisher in the UK, and they have a school called Faber Academy. And so I went into the the night school to study creative writing. And I started with adult writing. And then actually, something in me just started to call me for children’s writing. My niece had just been born and I was like, so in love with her. And I was like, Okay, I want to do something for her as a gift. And so that is something that Fingers crossed, hopefully come something is coming up perhaps on it. But through that process, I started to think well, how can I combine my current skill set, which is financial knowledge with something about and I thought, well, kids should be learning about money, how to manage their money, become interested in, you know, make it fun for kids. And so through doing my research for that book proposal, I found out that there is a whole sector of financial coaching and financial education that To be honest, just never crossed my mind. And you know, I always thought it was either you are a financial advisor in a regulated role, or you are what I was doing, which is being on the trading side and sell stocks, so sales and trading of a entities or you would be a wealth manager, you know, like the BlackRock, the fidelity’s, the Vanguard’s, you know, I just never knew there was an in between and so I was like, you know, Mind blown this exists. So I’m like, Okay, okay, what do I need to do to be one. And actually, you don’t need to do anything, which is kind of crazy, because it means anyone can call them health financial coach, because it’s not regulated. But me being who I am very studious. I was like, No, I want to get my certification. And and, you know, there’s two reasons for that. One of it is it just boosts your own confidence and self belief of knowing pick, do you know, and secondly, I think it’s important to show some credentials, you know, even though I have all these years of experience, so that’s the nfcc. They’re the national financial educators Council. It’s a global organization, but focused based in the US and through there, I got certified in 2020. And that’s when I launched where your money crown and the meaning behind that

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You know, a crown symbolizes victory, royalty and triumph. And that’s literally my goal for every single human being so that they can wear their own money crowns and roll their finances. So that’s, that’s the story. I love it. There is so much there we can definitely talk about today. So I’m looking forward to that. The first thing that came to mind that I want to ask you is I think when we talked, you know, before the recording, you mentioned that most of your clients in the financial education and coaching space are women. Is that right? I would say 80%. Yeah, eight out of 10. Yeah. So tell me, is there a certain money mindset that’s going on there that when you start working with people, you have the normal pitfalls, or things where you’re seeing that people can know about and work on? So they’re aware of it themselves? Oh, yeah, that’s a great question. So I would say, Okay, one of the main things it is that, because financial literacy, it’s not taught in school, and it’s not taught really in our adulthood, is it right, you have to make a conscious effort. And I must say, things are starting to change in the educational system, but just not fast enough. And I feel that, you know, when people, especially women, I feel that there’s a lot of masculinity around money, and a lot of masculinity around trading, investing. And even for instance, when I prepare my presentations for clients that I love using quotes, it’s so hard to find quotes about money from famous women. It’s all Warren Buffett, and men like him who I admire. But you know, I find maybe Barbara Corcoran and a Suzy Orman. But aside from that, it’s very difficult. And I’m like, you know, we got to change the narrative, because actually, even research studies have shown that women are better risk takers. But that’s super fascinating topic. Aside from that, but the point is, I would say most of my clients, when I start working with them is that they have just been money avoided, not purposefully, it’s been accidentally right, when we sit down to really work about, for example, their net worth knowing what they actually have diving into their pensions, many times I find out very commonly, women make money, they make good money, and they just put it into a savings account, they don’t allow their money to grow. A lot of the people that I’ve come across that are self employed have not been saving for their retirement, that’s a big one that I changed with them, because it’s so important to change it. And the younger, the better, right? Another point would be about the mindset, I suppose it’s just again, about thinking because the lingo can be so masculine, sometimes and unknown, it’s like the mind shuts down. And so it’s about saying, No, you are a powerful woman who can understand a lot of things, this is easy, you just need someone to explain what it means. So I think those are the most common factors. And I would say the last would be kind of about money avoidance is that this is very common, right? When people get married. And many times it’s the woman who ends up leaving a very successful career to become a mother and look after the children. And sometimes there’s a cost benefit to that. Because in certain countries, like in the UK, for instance, childcare is extraordinarily expensive. And so sometimes it’s inefficient for one of the parents to actually work and pay a child error. But on the other hand, I understand a lot of women want to stay home with their children, but then the gap starts to grow, you know, that the wage gap that we know about, but we have because of that career gap is well, then you start to have pension gap, wealth gap, investment gap, and then you know, it just snowballs and so that’s something that I work with my clients on in realizing we got to close that gap. That’s a in the intro, you said that that’s like that gap, what I’m referring to, it’s that financial education gap, wealth gap, pension gap, and knowledge gap. Yeah, that’s so good. And I think it is so important. Often one person if you are in a long term relationship, maybe married one person tends to handle a lot more the finances and the other person is there a recommendation from that perspective whether you know, man or woman, but is there anything they should be doing small steps they can take to get more involved in their, their finances and the financial picture so that they don’t find themselves you know, not really knowing much about what’s going on? Yes, you know what, I think that’s a great, great point. So I think sitting down together and doing a real talk meaning Okay, let’s know where all our assets are, let’s know what our liabilities are because guys, this is massive, like so many times I have had situations where, you know, one of my clients does not understand that their partner had taken out a loan on something, there are certain situations that can be kind of scary and then the spouse has issues that they did not know they had to serve out being you know, opening the books, let’s say and sitting down and doing a family plan. And this is like once a month it’s to understand Okay, first of all, do we have a household budget and in the budget, you’ll know where your income is coming your expenses right then in that in there as well as putting money towards savings to know where all your account

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Start. This is also about knowing things like, do we have life insurance, because this is another really important thing, Christian that I speak with people. So a lot of times I’ll speak with women who are in a marriage, and they say, Oh, my spouse who’s working had life insurance. I’m like, Okay, hold on, what God forbid, if something happened to you would happen, because, obviously, the emotional strain on the spouse, but also if you have children, you need to have even more income to look after the children, right. And so I really believe in a matrimony or union between a couples, whether you are married or living together, you need to protect both sides and think about the good. And the bad that could happen. So it’s not about thinking about, oh, you know, what if divorce happens, and I’m thinking, What if I lost my spouse? How am I going to deal with things financially, life insurance, does life insurance cover x, y, Zed living expenses, school, you know, all the expenses that could come with childcare, etc. So that would be another and the other would be really important about so each spouse knows or partner knows where things are, financially, and also they talk about their future retirement, because even if you are a non working spouse, in the US, and in the UK, there’s certain they have different lingo. But in essence, the spouse that works, can put money tax efficiently into an investment, such as, for example, a spousal IRA in the USA, and a lot of people don’t know about that. That’s really good advice. So let me ask you, I know that a big part of what you’re trying to educate people on and you’re helping them through, if they’re your clients, is how do we become financially resilient? So can you talk? Can you walk us through that? What does that look like? What do we need to know? And are there things we do that we should be considering? So that we can be prepared, right, as we get older, as we retire, or, you know, go on more trips, or more freedom of time? or short? So I think our financial resilience kind of in alignment with financial power, right? And it’s like, how do we step into that, and I might define that as having the confidence in our finances, that we can be the best version of ourselves. And that means aligning our desires, and values with our goals. And, you know, that also entails having the financial means to be able to make decisions that, as you say, could lead us to either say, Oh, well, I want to go on this trip to visit my friend, in this other country, I want to put money to my retirement fund, I want to do this or that, you know, all that takes wisdom. And so part of the financial resistance is getting educated in financial literacy so that you know, what you need to do, and not to, and I always say about kind of financial resilience, and what money is money is literally the tool that lets us say, No, you know, no to bad relationships, no to a bad job, and no to bad circumstances. And if you know, again, sadly, you won’t get sick to have the ability to say no to that illness, I’m going to get better by going to the best doctors, best nutritionist, etc. Right? So money allows us to do that. And we build our financial resilience. So my key, let’s say my top three tips would be on financial resilience is having an emergency fund, that is vital. And what is an emergency funds, this this cash put aside, it is not invested, it is literally sitting in a savings account. Sadly, now with interest rates globally, you know, it’s difficult to get a big return. But that’s not the point of your emergency fund. The point of the emergency fund is to be your financial cushion. I like to call it your financial parachute. Like if you’ve got to jump out, it’s gonna baby right. So I was saying the emergency fund, and I, you know, a lot of financial educators say three to six months, I think that was pre COVID. I think now with COVID. And seeing the pandemic aftermath, I think you need between nine to 14 months, even because you need to think Yeah, I know. And I know it sounds scary, but I’m going to say something positive about that, at least in a second. But that is basically the time you think it could get you to get the same income that you’re currently having. So let’s say if you’re in a full time job, how long have you lost that job? Would it take you to replace that income, whether it’s in that type of job or not? And because obviously, we have suffered through the pandemic. And we’ve seen really what’s, by the way, sustain the US economy and global economies right now is the, you know, the money that the central banks and countries governments have given the stimulus that has been, and that is not going to be long lasting forever, you know, businesses are having a lot of difficulties. they’ve survived things to furlough, and thanks to a lot of loans and schemes and grants that the government’s have given that that’s not long term. And so we really have to think about financial resilience long term. So the emergency fund that what I did want to say on a positive note is the following. It’s not your living expenses, and it’s today’s state, because if we’re going through an emergency, the first thing we do is tighten our belt. That’s going to be your bare bone.

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expenses, right? So you’re not going to be going on trips or expensive meals or going out or giving gifts to people, you know, you really have to think, Okay, what is for me to have my home, my food, my children’s school fees, etc, etc. And then you prepare that and I know it sounds scary. But if you start, it’s all about starting, right? And by the way, God willing, you’ll ever have to touch that emergency fund, but it’s there. And that’s such a great question to have. So that would be my first step. The second step would be, I think that you need to look at your current financial health, obviously, just like your physical health. Okay, how am I today? You know, instead of doing, let’s say, blood tests, to know what your health is, like, you’ll be doing some financial health ratio analysis. And that’s something where I do with my clients, one on one where we do a deep dive into their finances to basically know terms like what is their debt to income ratio? What is a savings ratio? What is housing ratio, there are certain ratios just like in the medical field, there’s certain things to look at, like cholesterol and blood pressure. So in finances, we look at certain things like housing savings, etc, to know what your health is. And then we analyze it and say, Okay, well listen, I don’t have X, Y, that I need to improve that my ratio is out of whack, you know, I have too much debt, I need to tackle that. Because once you know where you are, you can make a roadmap, you can make a plan. And then the third thing, I think, for financial resilience, which is super important is about mindset. And so I know we’ve talked a little bit about money mindset, but I think it is the most important piece. Because if you don’t fix whatever financial behaviors have have led you to that set, or to a negative situation, or to money avoidance, if you don’t realize what is causing that behind, let’s say behind the curtains, you’re not going to heal, you’ll just fall into the same bandwagon, like people that say, on a health, you know, on a diet, you know, if they don’t really get to the problems of what what is causing the emotional eating? Or is that actually due to chemical imbalances in your body that leads you to gain weight unnecessarily until you do that analysis of what’s causing you to get into debt or to not be able to save, or to not be able to, you know, is it knowledge is it behavioral actions, etc. And so that is something super important for people to do a deep analysis. And part of my certification. We did studies in behavioral finance, but also from back at MIT, when we were doing brain and cognitive really brings. They’re super machines, they’re powerful. And we need to just see that this positive data, and sometimes we need to reboot it. And so those limiting money beliefs, we got ahead, you know, just like we reboot our computers, sometimes they started to behave badly. We need to reboot our brains. And so that’s really important. Yeah, I think that’s so good. And I think you’re right, I think most of us have limiting money beliefs. But to be honest, I don’t know that that conversation happens all the time. I don’t know, it’s that people even realize that they come from childhood and how they were, you know, their upbringing, their past, they bring these limiting money beliefs with them. And of course, if you’re in a marriage, then you have two different, you know, maybe conflicting money, beliefs coming together. So I think it is something we don’t talk about enough. And I think we do need to kind of get to understanding why we spend money certain way or we don’t spend money, like you said, we don’t want to have money conversations. So I think it’s really important. Is there any really easy tip for how do we start diving into that? How do we even understand what our limiting beliefs on money might be? You know, I think that one of the ways is to kind of just think about your childhood, right? And kind of what was that first money memory. And some people like to call it your money story? And to just really dive deep? What was the environment I was in how was money perceived or not perceived, right? Because one of the biggest things have been just people don’t talk about money, and especially women, sadly, you know, a lot of mothers don’t talk to their daughters about money. And we got to change that narrative. And so it’s really sitting down and kind of putting the link between that and the current behaviors and your current financial health. And when I do that, with my clients, I get it kind of emotional, because their eyes open up when they realize, Oh, my God, I get why I’m doing what I’m doing, and then do the steps to fix that. But I was just gonna say you said something super important. And it’s about relationships. And when you’re in a relationship with someone who has different money, beliefs, and I’ve seen this so much, Kristin, and this really is a problem because money is one of the biggest causes of divorce. And so I would love to take every young woman and that and say from the beginning, when you start to date someone and you want to marry them, make sure you understand your money mindset, like are they a saver? Are they a spender? Are they a gambler? You know, you really need to kind of have an open conversation like, do they have that? Because by the way, when you get married, that’s going to become your problem, too. So I think that’s really important to talk about money. Yeah, you’re right. And I do think I mean, maybe nowadays more than you know, I’ve been married almost 22 years.

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I don’t know if there’s more money programs for couples, like you said, couples that are bound to become a couple are about to enter into marriage, because I do think it’s something that, you know, they might talk about religious views and these different things and what do they want as far as a family or not. But I don’t know that we do talk about this money mindset enough. So I think that’s a really good, really good thought there. So let me ask you this. What about someone that’s considering much like yourself, where you have, you know, you’ve had this long term career, but you’re stepping into doing these new things. So two questions for you. The first is, how would you recommend people even look at these opportunities they might step into? Did you find that it’s because you had the skill set, and you were able to pair it with something else? So I’m just curious, like, any suggestions for people there? But secondly, do you have recommendations for financially where we should be poor, they step into something, it could be a side hustle, or it could be a full time position, but something like that? Sure. Okay. So um, the first thing, I think a great exercise is literally take a pen and paper and make a line in the middle of a sheet and on the left hand, write down what I’m good at what you are good at, what are your, you know, your, let’s say, talents, and on the right hand side, what do I like to do? So for instance, I said that I love teaching. And I like the market for financial markets. And so that’s how I was able as well, then I, you know, through the research I was doing for the children’s book, I found out, hey, this exists. So it’s really about researching what you’re good at, and what you, you know, like your talents and what you like to do, because, right, they’re not always the same, right? You could be a great runner and you hate running, you need to find that. And secondly, I’m very passionate about this, because I’m preparing a workshop coming up in two weeks about this topic about people who are launching new businesses and kind of what is the financial foundation that you need for starting a new business, because many times people don’t understand there is an investment, there always is an investment, and then you both, it can either be time, or it can be money. Most of the time, it’s both. And so especially when it’s money, you need to have that, again, that emergency fund in your personal finances, because many times you end up having to finance your business, especially at the beginning. It’s not all you have incoming costs, you know, email service provider course platform website, or web developers, blah, blah, blah, you know, you have all these costs. So you need to really sit down and say, can I afford to do this by leaving my day job? Or do I keep my day job, you know, for instance, I’ve been working behind the scenes for almost two years, building my business still work in the day job and ready to God willing, soon be able to launch myself completely into the business as it’s growing. I really considered like, you know, I want to make money. And so I want to set it up with the correct foundations, you know, and that takes on investments, because it’s very difficult to borrow money for a new business, if you don’t have a credit score as a business, if you don’t have a history of income and profitability, etc. So it’s, yeah, it’s very wise to fix your personal finances, to have the strength and resilience to have a successful business, finance, business finances, that’s good. And then I think also, as you sort of alluded to, you know, you do have to have a little or it’s ideal, if you have a little money in the bank put aside for starting a business, even if it’s an online business, which Yes, can be very affordable. There are initial costs, right with setting up the business, legally. And then also, like you said, just getting an email platform and just the different tools you’ll need. So I think that’s really good to know, hey, I still need to have this money set aside for this, this new goal or dream of mine. And the other thing, though, I would note is, what I love is that there’s so many ways you can test a new concept, whether it’s a business idea, a business venture, or just like, hey, I want to create this journal with this art of mine on it, you can really test that without even starting your business, you can just kind of put feelers out there, hey, this is what I’m thinking of doing. You know, does anyone have interest? So I love that we can kind of start testing the waters before we step into something fully or even do it as you know, a side gig for smart. Totally. Yeah, let me ask you, as you move into doing your own business, like you said, Is there any other last bits of advice you’d give to people that are thinking of stepping out on their own, for instance, was for you? Was it just the payoff of getting more time? Or was it that you could build your brand as far as you want to? And you’re not limited with whatever your career income potential is? What What was it for you that let you do that? You know, for me, it’s more at this stage of my life, you know, and I have been doing and have been doing working on trading floors for 21 years, I decided I want to leave a legacy. I want to do good and have purpose. And you know, even though if you really break it down, you go, Oh, well, you know, on the trading floor, we’re investing the money on behalf of sensei and doing the trades for these asset management firms that fee for the little person and it’s not the same, you know, for me to be able to help individual financially, it’s a blessing. I love it. I love to see their transformation, because by the way, right, especially with women, when you transform a woman or a man, you don’t just consume them, you transform the people around them. It helps their children because they have this knowledge they can pass on they can break that cycle of negativity from

30:00

You know, let’s say their their past financial issues. And so I think it’s really beautiful. So I think my last advice would be find your purpose, you know, and when I say purpose, it’s I do I really, really believe, and part of the mindset I practice is abundance is the same, you know, this is doable, but no abundance is doable without action. And so you have to, again, be pragmatic about, okay, what are the action steps? So first of all, I have the thoughts where I’m going to align my values with my purpose. And secondly, okay, how am I going to do that, and that’s the action plan. And I want every new intrapreneur to have in their action plan, a financial action plan or roadmap because that will allow them to be more successful, to use their mental bandwidth for growth, instead of trying to think how am I going to pay for my health insurance, or my car lease, or my home, that is horrible to have to take that creative bandwidth away from your business to try to take care of your personal needs. And that’s why I’m so passionate of all my clients are pretty much a mixture between entrepreneurs themselves, or have full time jobs that wants to leave and start a business. And this is what we’re fixing, fixing the personal finances so they can achieve financial wellness, and have the cushion to succeed in a business that their heart desires. I love that. And I think that’s one thing I’m finding is, you know, as we hit these different life transitions, whether it’s that you had children, but now they’re they’re older, and you have more free time, or whether it’s just that you’re hitting a certain age, and you’re realizing, you know what, I think I’m ready for something new or, or, hey, I don’t feel as fulfilled as I thought I was, I’m seeking something new. So I love that you’re helping people with that. And because so many people are looking for that next thing, and I love that you’re helping them make sure they’re prepared financially to do that. So I think that’s just that’s just amazing. And I love the work you’re doing. Thank you so much. You’re welcome. Can you tell me no? How can people find you online and connect with you and then learn more about your programs and offerings? Right, thank you. So I, the website is www dot where your money crown calm. And that’s where w e AR like putting it on your head. That’s my Instagram handle is at where your money crowns. And I started recently a free Facebook financial community. And that is where your money crown financial community, it’s on Facebook. But if you go to my website, or my Instagram bio link, you can find all this information. So I’m here happy to help. Oh, that’s wonderful. I appreciate you being with us today. It’s just been great information, I think it will help a lot of people. So thanks again for being with us. And I look forward to connecting with you. Again. Thank you for having me. And thank you for what you do, because you’re helping to empower others. Oh, that conversation with Anna was so good. Because I think so many of us, you really do have such limiting money beliefs, or we are in a state of money avoidance. And I think every one of us can benefit from the tips she shared about how we become financially resilient, or even how we diversify ourselves into multiple revenue streams. And I just want to share with you that I love that when we change our financial circumstances. And when we change our own money stories, that it doesn’t just impact us. It impacts our families, it impacts the people around us, it really does allow for us to create a lasting and meaningful legacy in the world. And I want to leave you with these words by Maya Angelou, you can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money or go. Instead pursue the things you love doing. And then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you. Because I think honestly, if we’re doing something we love, and we’re putting all of our heart and passion to it, we will find success both in life and financially. So I would say to you find the thing that lights you up and go after your dreams and thanks again for listening in. And if you enjoyed the show, we’d love it if you’d subscribe and leave us a review and rating on Apple podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can check out freebies and resources we have for you at Kristin Fitch calm, and if you have ideas for the show or guests that you’d like to recommend. I’d love to hear from you. So DM me on Instagram at Kristin Fitch or you can email me from the website. Thanks so much. Until next time, have a great week.

Here is the full episode transcribed:

Unknown Speaker 0:00
Here’s what I want to ask you. What is holding you back? What is the thing that’s holding you back from going after your dreams and from finding meaningful work you love? Aren’t you ready to wake up to the possibilities that are in your life and go after the things you’ve dreamt up? It’s time for you to feel alive again lit up, and for you to know that you’re deserving, and you are worthy for the future that’s waiting for you. I want you to feel fulfilled and find abundance in your life. I think it’s time and I’m ready to help you get started. Now, I’m your host Kristen, of building a life you love. And each week on the show, we’re going to help you figure out how you do go after your dreams and find a work you love. Here we go. Let’s get started. On today’s episode, we’re going to talk to Don Hanlon, she is going to share with us how we still find our strength and our courage, how we have perseverance, and how we find that place in ourselves where we dream again. And we look for new goals when we’ve had a life transition in life challenges, or even health battles. So I think you’re really gonna love this episode, because so many of us can relate to the struggles and the loss that she’s walked through. So let’s listen in. Hi, I would like to welcome to the show today, Don Hanlon, She is the founder of color me everything where she was selling face masks with happy sayings and things to get people to start a conversation. And she is now creating a community in a podcast called beautifully broken, which is bringing people together and having conversations around things that have happened in our lives, life altering events, and how we figure out how to redefine ourselves. I’d like to welcome her to the show.

Unknown Speaker 1:45
Hello, how are you?

Unknown Speaker 1:46
I’m great, Don, I would love it. If you can share a little bit more with the listeners about your background, what you’ve done in sort of how you find yourself. And in this new, you know, moving into this new opportunity for 37 years,

Unknown Speaker 1:59
I’ve been a nurse, and I’ve been taking care of terminally ill patients for pediatric through adult wife, mother of six. And then three years ago, my husband died. And all my kids grew up and moved out of the house. And I found myself no longer wife, no longer mom that was caretaker and really big changes all at once. And it was a little bit daunting and kind of scary to try to figure out who I was or fit in the world and had to try to reinvent myself and wasn’t sure which way to go.

Unknown Speaker 2:33
Yeah. And I think you know, so many people find themselves there, whether it’s, you know, they’re widowed at some point, or many people become empty nesters, and many other things are in a career for a long time. And at some point you you look up and realize it might not be fulfilling you anymore, or I had other dreams how to 30 years past Do you have advice for people that find themselves having gone through a life altering event, and they’re trying to redefine themselves understand their identity in the world and how they can add to their identity or cheat, you know, move into a new identity? Did you have things in tools or mindset changes or work that helped you through that that

Unknown Speaker 3:10
first part of that actually, it started with just every day making a thankful list and three things I was thankful for. Because it was so easy to always get bogged down by the negative and all of the things that were no longer my life. So that thankful list grew every day. And it became easier and easier every day to see what there was to be thankful for. And then I started to see more positives around me. And I started reaching out to other people and looking for people that were like me to create new friendships and new bonds with like minded people. And that was very helpful and very supportive. Because even though we were in the same position now, our stories, our lives leading up to that point, were very different. So we had different perspectives, but didn’t matter how we got there. We were in the same place now which created a bond.

Unknown Speaker 4:06
Yeah, that’s good. I like that, you know, one, it’s, it really does. Everything really starts to shift in us with our mind read our thinking and our thoughts and what we allow in there. So I think that’s a good good advice. I like to say, you know, we kind of need a mind gatekeeper. If we’re thinking positive thoughts. That’s good, keep doing that. But if we find ourselves having negative, or thoughts that don’t serve us, we need to be able to catch that thought. Let me look at for what this really is. And can I make this better? So and then I love you’re thankful, you know, what am I thankful for list, obviously, you are in a major loss. That’s a hard thing to go through a lot of sorrow, but seeing the great things in your life and that you do have these six wonderful grown children. I can see how that battle starts to shift your mind. So I think that’s a lovely idea for people. Let me ask you, what about as you started to connect with people, right, you started reaching out to people you started being more thankful? How did you just Then to say, okay, you know, I want to try this, this business opportunity selling masks, and then now you’re taking a much bigger leap and working to build this community. And soon, I guess, in May launching a podcast called beautifully broken,

Unknown Speaker 5:14
what happened was people kept coming to me and asking me for advice, or your How do you stay so positive. And that’s where the masks came in. With everyone being socially distanced, I kept saying, that doesn’t mean we can’t be social. So having masks that, say, have a great day, or I’m smiling, are you to start conversations or just to have some sort of interaction, because what I was finding is that during the COVID, isolating time, people were very much like the widow community where they were finding themselves isolated, and not only interacting with a very small finite group of people, and you kind of lose your ability to interact and communicate, and you lose your empathy. And so I didn’t want that to be lost. And then that had evolved into my desire for the podcast, because people kept coming to me and asking, you know, how can you be this way, you’ve suffered so much. And I just kept saying, every day I choose to be happy every day, I choose to not let my physical or emotional deficits or sorrow, bring me down. And my thought was that if I could do the podcast, by doing that, I would be able to bring on people who have gone through similar things. And they can give, how they have evolved and what their journey was, because someone out there is feeling alone. And then they’ll know they’re not alone. And they’re not the only one that’s traveling this journey.

Unknown Speaker 6:55
Yeah, that’s great. And I think what you said too, about some of the physical or the emotional things that you mentioned. So did you want to mention that a bit about how that impacted your life?

Unknown Speaker 7:05
Yes, I was a homecare nurse, and I contracted COVID from one of my patients, and like everyone else that thought it’d be a couple weeks off work, I would be fine and go back to work. That was five months ago, I ended up with long term or long haulers, COVID, I have memory issues, I have a heart damage, I have a lot of physical ailments that have arisen from my body being in constant COVID fight mode, it’s like it went into fighting the disease and the disease is gone. But my body has not come out of fight mode. So exhaustion, chest pain, shortness of breath, low oxygen levels are what I deal with every day, a headache that started in November and never went away, a UPS truck running in my head constantly 24 seven. So these are tiring, exhausting things in themselves, then add the isolation of not and uncertainty of knowing whether I’ll be able to return to my job. And that brought me to the need to figure out who I am once again, where I belong, what my purpose is, and I have a compelling need to help others. That’s why I have a nurse, I’ve been a nurse for so long. And the podcast is to help me help others in a way that makes me feel like I’m doing something good, and that I’m truly fulfilling the purpose that I was given. I feel like I have a gift of healing and helping and that’s what I’m supposed to do. So this is the way that I can do it. But doesn’t isn’t dictated by my physical or my illness doesn’t make it impossible to do. It’s something I can do. Even if I don’t feel well, I can do it. Yeah. Well, I

Unknown Speaker 8:43
love that you shared that. And the reason is, is to your point is whether we have long term, physical or emotional things that we’re you know, whether it’s a disease or diagnosis, or like in your case, there’s plenty people with with COVID long haul or syndrome. But what I love about it is you still persevere, you still say I can still do stuff. But it just might mean that I have to take break or go rest or not today, right? But the point is, is you still have that passion, that fire and that desire in you. And I love that you shared that because I think we all even if it means we can only put something out into the world for an hour or serve someone else or have a conversation or start something right because now it’s so much easier to start any type of business, right a podcast, a shop online, which I know you’re gonna do that as well with some more products we’ll talk about later, but it’s just there’s so many options. And so I love that even with everything going on and even if you’ve had COVID and you find yourself in a situation, or like you said you’re stepping through sorrow or loneliness, there’s ways to connect with people online and there’s ways to actually serve those communities. So I think that’s fantastic that you shared that part of your journey. I know that you did the masks and you explain that one of the reasons was you wanted to kind of help people to be more social and to feel connection even When we were afraid to be around a lot of people or a lot of people were, and then we weren’t really being social. But then I think you’re transitioning those masks into offering inspirational quotes and prints and things you want to talk about maybe just that step you took to do that, or they were in process. Yes,

Unknown Speaker 10:18
part of the rehab for the memory problems and reading issues that I had with the COVID was, I began reading and so to work on that the speech was stuttering and having speech problems. So I had to read and write a lot. And I started looking at unusual words, words, I didn’t know so that I would have to learn how to say them and memorize the meanings. And I became quite enamored of these unusual words, words that are no longer used in our language, or words we’ve never heard of, but they have beautiful meanings, or the very inspirational and I started writing poetry, again, as part of this, like brain rehab. So I’ve begun taking photos that I’ve taken through the years and taking words that fit the photo. And I’m creating art prints and canvas prints, and then just unusual words, and putting them on T shirts or mugs. And we’ll be having them in my Shopify store, just as a way to help fund the membership program and the podcast and all of that.

Unknown Speaker 11:26
That’s fantastic. And two things that you sort of alluded to, in that what you just said, I just want to mention, one is how creativity can do so many things for us first, is it the creativity, right was what is part of your brain who you were using creativity to try to rehab yourself, right? Because I think you said you did painting too. And so you’re just trying to do new things, because it would help your brain rewire and then make new connections. So I think that’s really cool. And then the other thing is, creativity is the thing that lets us say, this thing could be possible, right? And you were willing to say, Okay, I made this thing as as a rehab practice as a creative practice. But then you realize, wait, this could be something that I offer into the world. And that takes some sort of creative process, right to go through that. So I think that’s really cool. And I think often and I mentioned this other times, we downplay the role of creativity in our lives and in our businesses. But I think it’s just so important. So I love that I’m glad you

Unknown Speaker 12:26
shared that art and music have been the things that have actually helped me to be able to get my brain working more consistently, like it used to, and the physical limitations that I was having the creativity, the crafting, even if it’s with my five year old granddaughter, the crafting has been good for me physically, but it’s also an emotional outlet. And that is very important. Yeah, I

Unknown Speaker 12:53
just had a conversation the other day with a creativity coach. And we basically talked about how creativity is so much, but it’s actually part of it is gives a connection to other people, but it’s also a connection to self, your self expression. I think that’s really wonderful. And I think more people should infuse creativity into their daily or weekly lives. What about any lessons you learned when you reassess your life or tools you use to try to make these new choices and go in a new direction? Was there were resources that you used?

Unknown Speaker 13:23
Well, there’s a lot of self introspection and reflection on what’s important. So you have to look at what are the things that you need in your life? And what are the things that you’d like to have. And when it comes right down to it, connection with other people is this important. So for me, trying to figure out where I fit in the world was my need to be with other people and my need to for my creative outlet, it wasn’t easy to try to figure this out and making connections online and joining Facebook groups and things like that. And then reading and I started with Chicken Soup for the Soul. And you know, I read that many times. And every time I read it, I get a different feeling or a different message, because I’m in a different place in my life. So you can read the same story over and over. But every time you read it, depending on where you are in your life, you get a different message. So I started with that book. And then I went to a woman in the blues and the women in the blues book talks about the things in our life that are hurtful and how we can overcome them. And it talks about all different types of events that happen in women’s lives. And it was hard to read at some times, but it made me stop and think about my life where I was and where I want to go. And that’s important. You have to figure out where you want to go and set a course and just every day remind yourself that you need to move forward. You have a goal. And then Kathy Heller had recommended this one women food and God and it’s about The relationship she had with food as an eating disorder. But when you look at it, it can apply to any type of unhealthy practice in your life and how to overcome it and how to reassess and see the damage being done and how you can overcome it. And again, it’s a different message for everyone because everyone’s in a different place. But it’s the message that you need, and you get that message. And it’s not easy, because it’s, sometimes we don’t want to, we don’t want to admit our truths. Sometimes the truth hurts. And sometimes it’s just painful. When you look at where you were, and what you thought you were going to be doing. And then you look at where you are, and all that you’re not able to do those dreams are different, and you have to make new dreams. And that’s really hard to come to terms with that. All the things you work for, for so many years are suddenly gone. And now you have to learn how to dream again. And that’s what happens when you suffer some sort of life altering events, it makes you stop dreaming, because you feel like everything’s lost. But it’s not. You just have to find the place in you that dreams, and reignite it and find a passion again. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 16:19
that’s so beautiful. There’s actually a book that I’ve picked up. And I haven’t read the whole thing through, but I’ve read parts of it. And it’s called wonder switch. The author’s here is the third. But he talks about how we all have, you know, this sense of wonder when we’re when we’re young. But over time, it’s just like the same thing with creativity, which is connected, but we start to lose create the our curiosity and our creativity. And like you said, We stopped dreaming, because as he says, The Wonder switch gets flipped off. And we have to figure out how to flip it back on. So that we can use our imagination and our creativity and our curiosity for, you know, creating things and dreaming and looking at, you know, new ideas. But if we don’t do that, then you know, I know there’s other things that say worry is a misuse of imagination. So we can either choose to, like I said live in the past, it doesn’t mean we don’t have to step through sorrow or hardship we do. And that’s not easy. But we have to get out to the other side where we see, wow, there’s possibilities out there for me. But I have to start spending time thinking about those possibilities, and then realize it might be scary, and it is unknown, it is different than maybe I imagined my life. But that happens to all of us in some way. Whatever it might be, it might not be through death, it might be through some other thing that’s happened to us. But I think it’s so important because to your point, we can get very stuck in our thinking. And we can get stuck in the same pattern behavior. But we have to be willing to put in that work to say Hold on, it’s my choice, I can choose my future, and then start taking that practice on even if it’s just for little bits, like maybe everyday just write down. What’s one thing this year you want to do, or one thing this week I’m going to do, right? So it can be small practices that build up over time to try to see this new vision. But I think that’s super helpful. And I think those books are great recommendations for people. And I think those can be really helpful for people going through transition or life altering, you know, circumstances. Wow, that’s really great. Is there anything else you would want to share with people that you think might be helpful for people that are kind of looking at, you know, defining life on their terms, whether that’s because they’ve gone through something very difficult, or what a life they were living, maybe it was just that they were in overwhelm, and they’re in a career that asked them to work 80 hours a week, and they’re not they’re not fulfilled? They’re not happy? Do you have any recommendations for people on how do you step into this new thing?

Unknown Speaker 18:39
Well, first, I would say that if you’re living a life, and you’re just content, you’re not feeling happy and fulfilled, then look at the things that you enjoy doing. Are there hobbies that you enjoy? Or do you like to ride a bike? Do you like to hike or kayak? Maybe you just like being out in nature, you know, find the things that make you feel happy and fulfilled, whether it’s a hobby, whether it’s, you know, another career, it’s never too late to stop and change careers. People are doing it every day, especially since COVID. With all the changes in the world, there are ways to find your happy place. And you know, I think people have been so afraid of change. And now in the last year, so many people have been forced to change and find new ways that it’s not as scary as it used to be, or it doesn’t have to be and the other thing is find people who are like you find a community of people. I started with finding online widow communities with other widows and widowers, men and women who had gone through similar experiences. I joined a group of people that liked to hike and we would go hiking before COVID we would go hiking once a month I joined these different groups. groups that did activities that I thought I might enjoy, so that I would get outside, interact with other people and start feeling like I was living again. And I think that when we get stuck in a place where everything is just, it’s a pattern, and we don’t break out of that pattern, then we lose sight of what’s really important and what really makes us happy. And that is what we need to do find that thing that gives us passion, and hope. And there’s so many outlets in so many ways, especially with so many things online, that you can find those connections, and you can find that passion. And don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. You know, there was a person that I had heard speak, and they said, Do it afraid. It’s okay to do it afraid and you don’t have to do it perfectly. But take that first step and see what wonderful things come next. And that’s what I would recommend people try. Even if it’s a baby step, at least, it’s a step toward being the you that you really want to be.

Unknown Speaker 21:08
Yeah, absolutely. That’s perfect. And I think a couple things you said there one is fear. I mean, you know, they say everything’s on the other side of fear with either opportunity or success, happiness. Every one of us feels uncertain or unsure of ourselves, we question worthiness we question like, I don’t know, this is my identity, I’m not sure I can do something else. But every one of us has those feelings and thoughts, every one of us feels afraid. But it’s just saying, I’m going to take small action every day. And you’ll be amazed at what happens in your life when you’re just willing to take those small actions and steps. The other thing you said, will you write part of living, what makes life so beautiful is the relationships we have and the community that we build around us. And if that changes, because of our transition in life, we do have to go seek out new friendships or new groups of people and like you said, that are trying new experiences. And I think that’s what keeps us young is and like you said, dreaming is we have to be curious, we have to try new things. We can’t just leave, you know, we don’t want to live around, you know, hog day life. Because that, to me, that’s just seems like such a waste of a lifetime. Do you know what I mean? So I, I love that. And I think that’s, that’s gonna help people for sure. So,

Unknown Speaker 22:22
man, I’ve

Unknown Speaker 22:23
loved our conversation today, Dawn, how can people find you online, if they’d like to learn more,

Unknown Speaker 22:29
they can go to my Facebook group called Women wisdom and wine or whatever. And that’s a free Facebook group, with women just supporting each other and trying to help each other through whatever it is they’re going through two nights a month, we do a Ladies Night and just kind of, you know, get your favorite beverage, iced tea, wine, whatever. And just spend some time with other women. And we’re all going through something. And you’d be surprised how many other women have been through it and may have learned some things that they can help you get through. So there’s that. And then I’m on Instagram at dawn Renee Hanlon. And that’s dawn da, w n, Renee, Ra N A. And then Hanlon, h n LLN. So that’s my Instagram.

Unknown Speaker 23:20
Perfect, and then coming up, they’ll be able to find you wherever podcasts are played at beautifully broken. So we’ll look forward to sharing that with our audience as well, when that comes out. Thank you so much for your time today, Don,

Unknown Speaker 23:31
thank you. It’s lovely to meet you.

Unknown Speaker 23:33
I hope the conversation today with dawn will encourage you to keep finding that place inside of yourself that you have dreams waiting to be revealed. And I hope that it will allow you to to be brave and try new things, even when things get hard, or you’ve experienced loss. Because we’ve always been made to be to reinvent ourselves, and to find something that lights us up in whatever season we’re in. And I would share these words from Elizabeth Gilbert with you in Big Magic. She says instead of taking out loans to go to a school for the arts, maybe try to push herself deeper into the world. To explore more bravely, or go more deeply and bravely inward. Take an honest inventory of the education you already have. The years you’ve lived, the trials you’ve endured, the skills you have learned along the way. If you’re a young person, open your eyes wide and let the world educate you to the fullest extent. ascend no longer from the textbook war and Walt Whitman. And I want it to There are many ways to learn that do not necessarily involve schoolrooms and feel free to start sharing your perspective through creativity. Even if you’re just a kid. If you were young, you see things differently than I do. And I want to know how you see things we all want to know. When we look at your work, whatever your work, may be. We will want to feel your youth that fresh sense of your recent arrival here. Be generous with us and let us feel it. After all for many of us. It has been so long Since we stood where you now stand, if you are older trust that the world has been educating you all along, you already know so much more than you think you know, you are not finished, you’re merely ready. After certain age. No matter how you’ve been spending your time, you are very likely earned a doctorate and living if you’re still here. If you have survived this long it is because you know things we need you to reveal to us what you know, what you have learned, what you have seen and felt. If you are older, chances are strong that you may already possess absolutely everything you need to possess in order to live a more creative life, except the confidence to actually do the do your work. But we need you to do your work. Whether you’re young or old, we need you your work in order to enrich and form our own lives, to take your insecurities and your fears and hold them upside down by their ankles and shake yourself free of all your cumbersome ideas about what you require, and how much you need to pay in order to become creatively legitimate because I’m telling you that you are already creatively legitimate by nature of your mere existence here among us. Just remember, you’re never too old to dream, a new dream, or to go after a new goal. Start a new hobby or make new friends. So let’s get going. The world needs your hope and your light and your love. And I think it’s time you started. And thanks again for listening in. And if you enjoyed the show, we’d love it if you’d subscribe and leave us a review and rating on Apple podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts. And you can check out freebies and resources we have for you at Kristin Fitch calm, and if you have ideas for the show or guests that you’d like to recommend. I’d love to hear from you. So DM me on Instagram at Kristin Fitch or you can email me from the website. Thanks so much. Until next time, have a great week.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai